How Close are you to Burn Out?

How close are you to Burn Out?

One of my friends says tooth-pick, chop stick and then 5 foot plank. Why? Well what she is referring to is the signs and subtle messages that give us a clue that something is going on in our bodies. The tooth-pick is ‘a bit of a niggle’ - you notice something but you choose to ignore it because you are soooo busy. In fact, what you might do is ignore any signs until later. That is when the chop-stick makes the signs more obvious, yet still you might just keep trudging on. It might be a pain, a headache or a whole host of tension and that is when the plank smacks you in the face and forces you to stop! Flu? A Migraine? Worse?

 

I am sure that you have noticed that life is getting busier and there is more information to process in all directions. We have emails, calls, texts and deadlines blasting us from all directions and we are always expected to be available. Why is that? Why have we accepted such a precedent? So how long can a nervous system and brain maintain such intense activity without bursting into flames? The answer is different for the individual. Some people are more resilient while others simply drop to the ground when a phone rings. The point that I am trying to make is how one needs to constantly pay attention to the body and how you are feeling. You may simply numb yourself and continue like a martyr. The problem with that is you build up fatigue and that fatigue resides in your body. No matter what you do your energy levels get lower and lower until that dreaded plank hits you with an illness that will stop you leaving your bed.

So…. I am all about solutions and finding easy ways to fit wellbeing into life. So this week I went on a Transcendental meditation course with the meditation trust. I will make this clear, I am not a wafty lettuce sniffing type who wears floaty scarves and belly-dances down the street with my underwear on my head. Although that does sound fun. I might try it sometime and see how the world responds to my new found knicker-head-wear and general jiggling. Anyway, I digress, so I went on this course because my brother recommended it. My brother is a university lecturer, academic and complete rationalist. So when I saw the drop in his shoulders, the general air of relaxation and the decrease in his anxiety then I knew that type of meditation was a good thing.

 

Before I go any further, I have to mention I do meditate. However, I often wander off into a self- amused plane for 20 minutes and then realise I ended up being lulled into thought by giggling at my own jokes. What I needed was a way to stop the inner distraction and TM solved this for me by providing a specific mantra that I could use. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I often get bored during meditation, woops – it is the truth. There are far more interesting things I could be doing. The mantra combined with the cyclic rhythm enabled me to enter into a very relaxed state. The thing is it was while in this relaxed state that I realised how fatigued I was. After each meditation I would literally pass out and sleep! I did this continually over 3 days. I also had rapid dreams which could be compared to mental Tsunamis or a mental wildebeest stampede. I was astounded. When I talked to the instructor about it he said it was quite usual for people in high powered jobs to respond that way. It was then that I realised that I had probably been close to burn out. My tooth-pick signs were general grumpiness, feelings of general negativity (I am not a negative person) and tiredness, even though I had an excellent diet, sleep well and exercise regularly. The chop-stick signs were – a sty on the eye, a tooth abscess and tension in my shoulders. Luckily I got on this course before the plank came in and smacked me one! Now I am not saying that Transcendental meditation is for everyone; however, it is a great tool to have for life. It enables you to enter deep relaxation and cope with the external stresses of the world and personally found that my energy levels have improved. I will be honest I did not go to the main Transcendental Meditation group instead I went for the Meditation Trust who are cheaper and very grounded. The point that I am trying to make here is that one needs to pay attention to the signs their body is sending them because I honestly had no clue that I was as fatigued as I was. The thing is I was fatigued to the core and there was no escaping it. It then made me think that if I am like this and I do yoga, eat well and exercise then what are other people like? If anything, I hope this article will remind you to notice the signs and find ways to truly relax until to you are forced to rest by a large piece of metaphorical wood colliding with your face.J

 

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

 

Scattered Syndrome

Scattered Syndrome?

Are you experiencing the scattered syndrome? It seems to be typical of modern day society where placing plates on sticks and spinning them has been surpassed by being involved in this act whilst walking on a tight-rope and playing a one man band. The thing is we all have a certain amount of mental capacity and if you look at your mental focus like a torch beam, we are constantly swishing it in all directions all of the time. Is it any wonder that people feel fragmented and drained because there is no opportunity to focus that light on one thing to take in the details and do it properly?

You may wonder why I am talking about this, well this week I completed the edit of The Ocean Callings audio book, wrote a children's book and worked full time in my corporate job, attended yoga, went to the gym on a daily basis and slept. Someone asked how I managed to do it all? Well it was purely down to concentrated focus. I focus on thing at a time and do it until complete. My corporation does not particularly enjoy the fact that I maintain this ethos; however, I have noticed that the fragmented states people are in result in shoddy work and doing things twice. It is like buy cheap buy twice. Do a crap job then do it three times. The truth is to achieve anything worthwhile one needs to focus. It can be playing with children, doing a sport or writing a book. There is no point being half-present because the results will be rubbish. This ties in with mindfulness too, it is about presence and being in the moment - being there fully. In addition to this, I want to point out that being busy all of the time spinning plates and proverbially playing a one man band whilst absailing down a building does not allow space for problem solving. Have you noticed the time when you come up with the best solution is when you are quiet and relaxed? When I was on a course people shared where they had their best ideas: when they woke up in the morning, in the shower, in the bath or when doing a repetitive exercise. These are the times when your conscious thought relaxes and allows the superior unconscious to solve it. So this Scattered Sydrome is no good for anything. It is worth applying concentrated focus and absolute presence whilst doing anything you are passionate about because then my friends you will find that you produce something far more worthy and of value because you have truly shone your light up in it!

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

When things come from nowhere...

When things come from nowhere!

 

Have you had one of those moments where you think what next? Well I had one of those this week. I completed the draft of a book about money. My intentions is to help people manage their money. My dream would be for a world where people are not enslaved to paying off credit cards and mortgages... I loved writing it and it is now in brewing phase before editing. So then I thought I will have a little rest and said to the my self and the 'universe' what next.... Within a day it was answered. My proof reader came to me with a slip of paper with a writing competition on it. It was a competition for books written for 5-7 year olds. I only have written two of this kind and my agent is taking those to the Bologna book fair in April to show a few publishers. Anyway back to the story. It seems that when one asks one has to be aware of how answers come in quite different ways. When I was provided with the brief to write a mystery for 5 to 7 year olds, my mind went in all directions with the potential. I have learned not to just jump on the mind churn bandwagon; instead, I allow the unconscious to come up with a full story. The following morning I sat down and wrote the first third with a full image in my mind. It was just lovely to write something for children because it is so much fun. It takes you back into all the phases of wonder and the mischief. I have since written three other stories just for the fun of it.  I am not going to say any more but if you desire a prompt to write your own 5-7 year old mystery...

PROMPT:
The strangest thing happened when....

Enjoy!

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

 

Satisfaction...

Finding Satisfaction

The quickest way to lead yourself into dissatisfaction is to make comparison. If you think about it, all of us are unique and not one of us is the same so what is the point of making comparison?

One of my friends is working on her ‘grudges’ against people who have more than her. It has been an interesting insight into how she sees things. It seems that what makes her angry is those people who have miraculously large amounts of money arrive in their bank accounts as if by magic. Or people that get free luxury holidays. Obviously from the outside it is relatively amusing watching someone go red in the face over the fact that a friend has been given a free luxury holiday in Australia or Dubai; however, it did get me thinking. Why can’t people be happy for other people’s good? What is the point of jealousy? All of it is a waste of time and energy. When you are throwing yourself into aggravation over someone else’s good then you are not working on your own. I shared this with my friend and asked whether she could compare a bamboo to an oak or a tulip to a rose. She seemed bemused at first and then she realised what I was saying. There is no comparison; what’s more, there will always be someone richer, prettier, fitter, stronger, cleverer – so why are you comparing to them? You are unique and you have your own things that people are comparing to.

 

 

 

For me dissatisfaction is a sad experience, one that I have been working on for a while. It is learning what is it that makes a person feel dissatisfied and why? I realised I was causing my own dissatisfaction by comparing myself to some of the literary greats or the world’s most successful people (quite clearly I may have aspirations of grandeur) and through doing this I was ensuring that I felt bad. The thing is have you noticed that one is more likely to compare to people who have more than you rather than those who have less? Those who have less would be more than grateful for what you have? So how I combatted the comparison / dissatisfaction issue was to really focus on my stuff and when I caught that little voice in my head making comparison, I watched what it was saying and asked myself where the voice had originated. It is fascinating what the inner commentary tells you and what it drives you to do. It is almost manipulative ‘you will only be good enough when…’ 'If you do so and so... have so and so... then life will be so much better.' Then the next chase begins... 

 

 

So why compare? comparison was necessary in primal times to establish your hierarchy within a tribe. Maybe that is why we still do it. The thing is I do not intend to spend my life in a state of dissatisfaction that I have created for myself through comparison. The root cause of the dissatisfaction is comparison so therefore by not comparing and focusing on what you have and what you have achieved then you will experience satisfaction. Give it a try and see what happens.

 

 

 

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 

 

 

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

The Common Theme...

Has anyone else had that 'Oh my God it's February already' moment? Well I and a few of my friends have. It seems that 2016 is racing away and so many people I know are experiencing a similar feeling in life. They have usually known what they want to do or where they want to go but not this time. For this reason, and my need to reflect and re-evaluate, I took a week and a half off work. Over the last few days I have had some holiday time, friends time and me time. It was brilliant, yet when I talked to people about the fact I was taking time to think about what I want to do in the coming years and decades they all responded with the same thing. 'For the first time ever, I don't know where I am going.' Obviously this got me thinking. That tied in with reading The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. The question becomes do we have to know what we want to do or where we want to go? According to Michael life knows best and when you surrender life takes its natural course. When I say natural course, one does not sit waiting for things to happen, instead one dances with life. You notice the clues, you follow your inner desire to do something or learn something or even go somewhere. In a way you work symbiotically with life rather than saying 'hey life - here are the keys to my car - you drive'. It is more of a case of right 'we are in the car, where do you want to go and what do you need me to do?' Personally I like this idea, it does not mean that you hand over your power but it does stop a person controlling and forcing life. One of my friend's great sayings is row with the river rather than against it. I don't know about you, but the times I rowed against the river resulted in my biggest struggles in life. It wasn't fun and life kindly evicted me from all that did not suit me by making me redundant, removing my relationship and breaking my car - all in a day. Thank you life.

So today, and don't think I am bragging, I spent the day at a spa. I have a spa jar and put a twenty in each week for reward and luxuriating. This is the reward for completing my Ocean Callings book on audio. Anyway, as life would have it I ended up meeting some rather interesting people at the spa. It always happens and they always have a story to tell. So I mentioned the fact I was being reflective and not knowing which direction to travel in on my fresh new journey and each had some advice because all had shifted their direction.

The first lady said she knew it was time for a change when she sat at her desk and felt taken forgranted. All her passion drained out of her and in that moment she decided to re-train. She now runs her own business as a holistic healer. Lovely lady with a real spark in her eye. She said when the passion dies take it as a sign!

The second lady I talked to had worked in the shipping industry and she loved it yet she reached a plateau and did not know her way forwards. She sat at her desk and felt her passion had gone (notice the common theme) it was then she said to herself I can't do this anymore. Within a month she had handed in her notice. Three years later she is a top dog breeder and shows her dogs at Crufts dog show. She said she is the happiest she has ever been. She said the trigger point for her was when she did not know her way forward. She just had to wait until the curtain was drawn back to reveal where she was going.

The third lady also worked in corporate. She had that sense of malaise and boredom. She just kept going until she had her end of year appraisal and again she was triggered by not being valued. After twenty one years of giving it her all she was taken for granted. She was graded low, even though she had achieved great things. So when she was given her compensation review she was shocked by how little they valued her work. Please note that in her working environment she gauged how well she did by how much bonus and pay rise she received. To say that it was next to nothing was an understatement; however, the office arse-licker, who took credit for other peoples work, received five times her bonus. What made it worse was he had used her work to get that bonus... Fair? Rage? Really? So this lady handed in her notice and guess what happened? The corporation tried not to pay her miniscule bonus. That is after twenty one years of working for the institution. She had to revoke her resignation to get the money and then re-submit it. This, as I said before, was after dedicating twenty one years of her life to a company. So she is now retired, retrained as a proof reader and is doing what she loves: proof reading.

So my little rest and reflection provided some great insights. After this I had a rest and day dreamed. In that time seven new book ideas emerged into my consciousness. I have to say I am so excited and can feel the passion flowing once again. What's more, I have just completed the draft on my recent book about Money. It is so satisfying to know that you can contribute something to the world rather than take from it. I hope the above has given you some insight. Also, as I like to share writing prompts, there are a few below that may inspire you to get in touch with your unconscious.

Use the prompt and write and write until you can't write anymore.

In the next year I would love to....
In the next year I intend to work as...
In the next year I intend to make the following changes...

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 

 

 

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

 

Writing for Healing

Writing For Healing

 

This week I have taken the week off because quite frankly it was time for a holiday. What’s more, I completed The Ocean Callings edits on audio and one needs to celebrate with a little time away. So how does this relate to writing and healing then? Well when I complete work I take time off and I make sure that I make space for healing and personal writing. One has to make the space to re-consider, re-evaluate and re-direct. It is so easy to be busy all the time jumping from one goal to the next. Yet there is time for relaxation and there is time for action. These are all necessary parts of growth. What’s more, there is time for progression and time for reflection. I feel it is necessary to take the time to notice how you have progressed and learn from what you have achieved. Is there a better way? What worked? What wouldn’t you do again? This applies to life too and that is why a journal is a powerful tool. Do you have a journal? Do you ever ask yourself how you really feel or what you really want? Do you ever consider how you have done? What in your life works? What can you do to increase what works? Or are you spending your time dwelling on what life is lacking or on the shyte? I have mentioned before, in a couple of my books, if you shine your torch on a turd then that is what you will see fully illuminated. I look at the mind as a light house and where you rotate that light beam is what becomes illuminated. Where would you choose to focus a spotlight in your life if you had the choice? Which parts of your life would you want the world to see and which other parts would you prefer remained private? Now, that is why one can use writing for healing. You can purge yourself of what you really think, what you dislike and what you love. How else do you find out what is going on in the unconscious when the conscious mind is full of mental tittle tattle?

 

Anyway today is the day where I would like to share with you three prompts that may or may not catalyse healing. This is up to you to do and the results can only come from you. The prompts are just suggestions and you can tailor them to the areas of your life you would like to work on. In my opinion it is only when you write something out then you learn what is really going on in the churning mental background.

 

·         I feel that I have achieved…. And this is what worked… And this is how I would do it differently.

·         The thing I would most like to change… With all resources were available to me then this is how I would go about it…

·         The strongest feeling I experience is…. And I would like to…

I hope this inspires you…

If you have any prompts that work for you or may work for others then please share in the comments below…

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 

 

 

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

 

That feeling...

 

That feeling...

Oh there is such a sense of euphoria when you complete the editing of an audiobook. Honestly I can't tell you how amazing it is when you have worked with a wonderful producer for months and finally finish over 100,000 words in voice. We worked week by week and chapter by chapter on the audio version of The Ocean Callings.

The Ocean Callings, a teen book about love, the heart and the people of the sea. I have to say I have really loved working on the audio creation. This particular book is very close to my heart because this was my very first book that I drafted over 12 years ago. It emerged into life after having one of those monumental days that change everything. That evening I was walking home from university and a young person was run over on a bike and died. The shock of what happened made me re-evaluate my life and forced me to ask questions about what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be. I reflected on my childhood and of course I wanted to be a mermaid (as you do). That evening, whilst still in a state of shock, I researched mermaid sightings around Britain. Since it was unusual to lock myself in a room, my housemate, who was also a student, asked me what I was up to. I said I was looking up mermaid sightings in Scotland... Yes how normal does that sound? Well it just so happened that her aunty owned a cottage at one of the locations where there had been sightings. That was it... two weeks later we were in Scotland interviewing people about the mermaid sightings and the stories of women who swam out to save pirates from ship wrecks. It was an amazing experience and was the beginning of my authorial career. With that in mind, today is quite monumental because it was in January in 2004 that the writing adventure began... And today is the finalisation of a sequence of events that began on a very dark evening when a person re-evaluated their life because of a death.

It is fascinating how one can transform the bad into good with the right intention. The Ocean Callings will be released at the end of February on Audible, Amazon and iTunes.


You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0