Ruby Allure's Books

Ruby Allure's Books
Ruby Allure's Books
Showing posts with label mindful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindful. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 June 2016

And Then What?

And Then What?
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It's a strange question to ask yourself. And then what? There is something a little all over the place about it. The thing is when you reach a goal  that is when you ask the question 'and then what?' This came to me while paddle-boarding the other morning. I woke at 5.30 in the morning and the conditions were perfect. I clambered out of my bed and pumped up the paddleboard and set myself a-float (on the sea) by six. I know... It might be considered a little strange to be out on the water with no one around at that time. Yet strangely I have the most insights and writing inspirations at that time. That morning I did not have a goal, although for a while I had been wanting to achieve the Boscombe Pier to Bournemouth Pier before work. The thought entered my mind but I did not think too much about it. Instead I went into a beautiful paddling rhythm with turquoise waves lifting me on my journey.
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I used to dislike waves when I first started paddling because the sneakers usually threw me into freezing cold water. After a few splash downs I got back up and learned to relax into the waves and relax into allowing my body to balance using my hips. This was a huge lesson because I learned that the more I tried to control, and the more rigid I became, then the more likely I would end up submerged. The other side of the paddleboard lesson was learning to relax and go with it. The more relaxed I was then the more effortless the journey was. I simply seemed to glide towards my goal with almost no effort at all. At times I would find myself in a meditative space as the rhythm of the paddle took over. A short while later I would find myself thinking and when I started thinking too much my balance would go. I realised that over-thinking actually affected my balance. I have found that in yoga too. The days where I have been ridiculously busy are the days I can hardly balance on one leg without toppling into my yoga colleagues. Of course I find it hilarious, I don't think the others are quite so amused.
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So back to the paddling, the mesmerisation by the pattern on the water and a state of absolute peace and then suddenly I reached my goal. It snuck up on me. All I had to do was enjoy my paddling journey and I would arrive at the destination with a sense of relaxed joy. I wondered what would happen if I applied this attitude to life. If I simply found an enjoyment in all that I did, if I simply pointed myself towards the goal and then immersed myself in each moment of the journey. I found that thought quite profound.

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Anyway I turned my board around and found that I started to rush back. I wondered why I was rushing, I could simply relax into the journey and enjoy my return. It was then that it occurred to me how we so often rush. It is such a waste of time rushing because rushing gets something done without any experience of the moment. Where is the enjoyment in that? As I paddled in my serene state I decided to go slower, as slow as I could. It was then I felt completely present. Everything around me was perfect - the sea, the sun, the birds and the empty space. There is a sense of zen that comes from paddling and it revealed itself in that moment. I was back at where I started, I had completely enjoyed two hours of paddling and thought I achieved a goal effortlessly... It was lovely. I then thought well what is next... And then what?

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I paddled in and a random chap came running down the beach. He said that paddleboarding looked lovely and he had always wanted to try. He asked me whether it was easy. I replied 'it depends how relaxed you are.' He studied me curiously. I asked him what the time was and I had fifteen minutes so I handed my board and paddle to him and gestured for him to enter the water. He was wearing his jogging wear and was definitely going to get wet. I showed him how to stand up and how to balance. He did as I said and splat. Then splat again and then double splat. I said that he needed to relax and not control the board. He managed to last about a minute before another big splash. He then paddled in. He loved it. He grinned from ear to ear and in that moment he decided he was going to get his own board. We then went our separate ways but before that he asked me out for a coffee to repay my kindness. It was then that I realised the 'And then what...' Once you reach your goal, why not inspire others to reach theirs through 'random acts of kindness?'
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Enjoy my books at the following link:

NEW RELEASE: TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE MISCHIEFS

NEW RELEASE: THE HAIRY-LEGGED MYSTERY


Saturday, 4 June 2016

The Grass isn't always Greener on the Other Side!


The grass isn’t always greener on the other side!


If the grass looks greener on the other side then start tending to your own grass until it is vibrant and filled with radiance!  Why are you looking at other people's grass anyway when your attention could be focused on making yours amazing!


This week has been quite a week for me. Two children’s books released and snapped up by audio producers, a return to work after being signed off with Deep Vein Thrombosis and being able to see the world with a new perspective. It is funny how when you are immersed in routine that you live on automatic pilot. How often do you stop to take in your surroundings? How often do you stop and say actually I am living the perfect life for me? I would guess that it isn’t that often. Don’t you find it amazing that all your choices and decisions in life have resulted in where you are now? Those decisions must have been made because you felt your situation would improve… Am I correct? So why do people look at other people’s lives and wish they were them? Or wish they had their life? Why do we assume that life is greener on the other side?



A good example of the grass being greener was when I was at a rowing championship. I was staying in a cottage with a group of mothers (who were there for their children). They said to me they wished they could live my life: a life of freedom, creativity and working in business. I had never considered that people would look at my lifestyle from the outside and consider my grass was greener. I pointed out that in my opinion they had it pretty good. They all had wonderful husbands who provided for them and they had a family, lovely homes and all they needed. They had not had to work up a corporate ladder or find ways to enable numerous incomes. Instead they had had the opportunity to focus on nurture, bringing life into the world and they had the opportunity to do that in comfort rather than struggle. I had struggled, seriously struggled and there were times where I would have gladly been saved by an opportune prince. Unfortunately there was no prince making that showy arrival, so instead I realised my life was my responsibility and rather than waste time admiring people’s grass and wishing it was mine, I thought well how do I make my grass the greenest it can be? Since each person’s life is their responsibility and their grass state is representational of their life, then tending to one’s own grass is the best thing a person can do.



At this point I would like you to ask how you make your grass as green as it can be?  The thing is it isn’t just about having more or earning more money, it can quite simply be a shift of mental perspective. Just think that there are people out there who aspire to have the life you have. I know… It is a strange thought. The way I see it is if you have access to the internet and have the opportunity to read this blog then you are rich. You have the capacity to purchase the technology to be able to access the world. You have the funds to buy the tools. You are not sitting in a hovel digging through shit.

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Through doing this evaluation, I realised that my life was good and worked perfectly for me. As much as those images of people living in huge luxurious mansions bombard us, I realised that actually I would feel very lonely residing in such a huge space. I would be like a pea rattling around a warehouse. My little apartment is perfect for me. It is peaceful, cosy and filled with an air of femininity. In truth it is beautiful, has turrets and is minimalist. So you might wave a mansion at me and I would smile and know that in terms of where I live my grass is very green.


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It was a few years ago now that I saw through the big illusion. That illusion is fascinating – we are fed images of ideals in films and adverts. They are not real. We are shown images of the ideal bodies, yet we are all different. So why not love the body you have and treat it well? Don’t starve it, treat it to great nutrition and it is worth shifting perspective to consider food as medicine and building blocks for the body.  Find an exercise you love so that your body radiates with health. Blood moving around the body stops it stagnating. Finally money – we all chase money to be rich because everyone else wants to be rich. Yes money is a decorated piece of paper to accumulate but what if all that effort to accumulate results in devaluation? It happened to Cyprus and Iceland. So with that in mind, you can realise that actually what you want is the feeling of being rich and that comes from appreciating what you have. It is so simple.



The moment I realised I was rich was quite out of the blue. I stood on my paddleboard on a beautiful expanse of water. It was close to sunset and the clouds were decorated with pink and the reflection made heaven and earth one. I stood there in that moment and thought I couldn’t pay for this. This endless chase for money is ridiculous because it is continuous. When will you ever have enough? You know the answer to that... For me - beauty and true wealth comes from being immersed in the experience.
That moment on the paddleboard was when I realised I had stopped to smell the roses and seen the beauty in life. That beauty had not cost a thing – it was nature working its daily miracles. What was it that made me rich? It was the recognition and the feeling of a great connection with the planet. A feeling of great wealth rose up inside me. I series of pictures connected, as if there was a thread throughout my life. I saw the sequence of great moments of inspiration. It was then that I realised that my grass was as green as I wished to make it. I just needed to focus on the feeling of being wealthy with what I have because I have access to that whenever I wish. I also realised that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. Instead it is far better to focus on my own grass, tend to my own grass and then take it with me in the form of radiant turf!

I hope this inspires


NEW RELEASE: TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE MISCHIEFS

NEW RELEASE: THE HAIRY-LEGGED MYSTERY

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

What Happens When You Reach Your Goals?




What do you do when you reach your goal? Do you dance? Do you celebrate? Or do you do what most people do - and set another goal? What is the point of setting yourself a challenge unless you get some satisfaction from it? It is funny that I write this now because I was recently having a discussion about this subject. Many of my friends who are athletes feel lost without a goal or a challenge. They say that when they have a goal / event they will push themselves beyond their comfort zone and go on a journey to better themselves. In some cases they are able to reach their true limits and see what they are truly capable of.


With regards to the goals you need to have a reason or a motivation - it becomes your why. When I have competed at rowing my why used to be the medal and the unity of a team. That amazing feeling of crossing the line and winning. Now, and this may be maturity, my rowing has taken on a completely new form. The love for rowing and my new 'why' in rowing is precision in stroke and mastering unity within a team. I don't actually care about the win because we have won and had the small moments of elation. That elation was short lived and resulted in the next goal or race; whereas now the rowing enables concentrated focus with sustained feelings of elation. What is even more satisfying is  rowing at your best ability for a continued time period. Maybe this is another goal or a form of goal, yet what do you do when you have reached all your goals? Is life a continual chase of goal acquisition or could you be without a goal? Does being goal-less become the goal in itself?

Success is a strange phenomenon. We are fed so many messages to go out there and achieve. To set huge goals of money, experience, career or beauty. Yet maybe it is more about the journey and who we become through our challenges. Maybe that is where we need to focus rather than goal after goal after goal. After all, doesn't life happen between goals?  Why are people so scared of not chasing something to be better?

So my question still remains: What happens when you reach your goals? What do you do when you have achieved all that you have ever wanted to achieve? Is this the time where you find satisfaction in existence and just be? Is that why goals have been so important? Is it the fear of essentially just being and existing?

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:
AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:
 
LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:
 
LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM
A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832


THE LINK TO THE OCEAN CALLINGS: http://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fantasy/The-Ocean-Callings-Audiobook/B01C4OOOEW/

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

How Close are you to Burn Out?


How close are you to Burn Out?
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One of my friends says tooth-pick, chop stick and then 5 foot plank. Why? Well what she is referring to is the signs and subtle messages that give us a clue that something is going on in our bodies. The tooth-pick is ‘a bit of a niggle’ - you notice something but you choose to ignore it because you are soooo busy. In fact, what you might do is ignore any signs until later. That is when the chop-stick makes the signs more obvious, yet still you might just keep trudging on. It might be a pain, a headache or a whole host of tension and that is when the plank smacks you in the face and forces you to stop! Flu? A Migraine? Worse?
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I am sure that you have noticed that life is getting busier and there is more information to process in all directions. We have emails, calls, texts and deadlines blasting us from all directions and we are always expected to be available. Why is that? Why have we accepted such a precedent? So how long can a nervous system and brain maintain such intense activity without bursting into flames? The answer is different for the individual. Some people are more resilient while others simply drop to the ground when a phone rings. The point that I am trying to make is how one needs to constantly pay attention to the body and how you are feeling. You may simply numb yourself and continue like a martyr. The problem with that is you build up fatigue and that fatigue resides in your body. No matter what you do your energy levels get lower and lower until that dreaded plank hits you with an illness that will stop you leaving your bed.
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So…. I am all about solutions and finding easy ways to fit wellbeing into life. So this week I went on a Transcendental meditation course with the meditation trust. I will make this clear, I am not a wafty lettuce sniffing type who wears floaty scarves and belly-dances down the street with my underwear on my head. Although that does sound fun. I might try it sometime and see how the world responds to my new found knicker-head-wear and general jiggling. Anyway, I digress, so I went on this course because my brother recommended it. My brother is a university lecturer, academic and complete rationalist. So when I saw the drop in his shoulders, the general air of relaxation and the decrease in his anxiety then I knew that type of meditation was a good thing.
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Before I go any further, I have to mention I do meditate. However, I often wander off into a self- amused plane for 20 minutes and then realise I ended up being lulled into thought by giggling at my own jokes. What I needed was a way to stop the inner distraction and TM solved this for me by providing a specific mantra that I could use. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I often get bored during meditation, woops – it is the truth. There are far more interesting things I could be doing. The mantra combined with the cyclic rhythm enabled me to enter into a very relaxed state. The thing is it was while in this relaxed state that I realised how fatigued I was. After each meditation I would literally pass out and sleep! I did this continually over 3 days. I also had rapid dreams which could be compared to mental Tsunamis or a mental wildebeest stampede. I was astounded. When I talked to the instructor about it he said it was quite usual for people in high powered jobs to respond that way. It was then that I realised that I had probably been close to burn out. My tooth-pick signs were general grumpiness, feelings of general negativity (I am not a negative person) and tiredness, even though I had an excellent diet, sleep well and exercise regularly. The chop-stick signs were – a sty on the eye, a tooth abscess and tension in my shoulders. Luckily I got on this course before the plank came in and smacked me one! Now I am not saying that Transcendental meditation is for everyone; however, it is a great tool to have for life. It enables you to enter deep relaxation and cope with the external stresses of the world and personally found that my energy levels have improved. I will be honest I did not go to the main Transcendental Meditation group instead I went for the Meditation Trust who are cheaper and very grounded. The point that I am trying to make here is that one needs to pay attention to the signs their body is sending them because I honestly had no clue that I was as fatigued as I was. The thing is I was fatigued to the core and there was no escaping it. It then made me think that if I am like this and I do yoga, eat well and exercise then what are other people like? If anything, I hope this article will remind you to notice the signs and find ways to truly relax until to you are forced to rest by a large piece of metaphorical wood colliding with your face.J
Image result for hit in the face
 
 
You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:
 
LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:
 
LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM
A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832
 

 

Sunday, 24 January 2016

Why Hide Your Light When You Can Be Radiant?

Why Hide Your Light When You Can Be Radiant?

 
Are you allowing yourself to be the best that you can be? Or are you hiding your true magnificence through fear of upsetting others? I have noticed a common theme among many of the 'relatively' successful people that I have worked with recently. It seems they are under-selling themselves or now quite allowing themselves to fully radiate their true greatness. Why? When you become truly radiant you are noticed. When you are noticed people pay attention to you. I then noticed the discussions taking place when one person achieved great success. Lines such as 'they have their nose up so and so's arse.'
'They know how to talk and get others to do it for them.' Or the worst for me was 'well they had it easy.' How did they know that. Did they sit behind the scenes observing how easy it was for them? Isn't it a shame that when someone works really hard and gets reward that people would belittle them rather than celebrate them?
 
 
Two of my good friends were promoted this week and I went and found them and made them do a 'bottom-y celebratory dance. Yes I did! Why? Well when people work so hard to succeed they deserve to celebrate and be celebrated. Yet quite often other people get jealous and bring them down. Yet when 'the back-stabbers' are successful they expect others to give a shit. This got me thinking about success and how so many people under-sell themselves or stop achieving their true glory because they don't want to upset other people.  What is worse are the dream breakers. Those who have an opinion or make a snide comment about an idea or dream are ridiculous. I am sure some of you are shaking your heads saying I would never do that... Well think about it - there are so many people lined up to tell you why you can't or why you shouldn't. These people's verbal poison may stopped you completely committing yourself to 110% because you would be concerned how you were viewed. Or you really wanted to do something but were concerned others would criticise you. If this does not apply to you then you are lucky. Really lucky... because so many people hold themselves back through fear of isolation. So many people view rich people as lonely and others fear the haters. The thing is the truth is whatever is said about you is no reflection of you; instead, it is about the person who said it. So where is this going? Well what if you did step into your true potential and share your wonderful gifts with the world? What would happen if everyone stepped up and inspired rather than criticised. What if we celebrated true success without belittling... Wouldn't that set an example? Would that motivate more people to do good in the world?
 
This week I was in a yoga class striking the warrior pose and I had one of those moments where a little voice says something so subtle yet so poignant.... 'Why wouldn't you allow yourself to reach your true potential? What is the benefit?' It is at times like these you think I should not be thinking. I should be focused on the yoga; however, it is at these precise moments that part of the universal jigsaw puzzle assembles in front of your eyes and reveals the way forward. One has to intend to be radiant and to radiate in a world that wants to steal your fire. One has to choose to become one's best and share their talents with the world without fear. One can choose to hide, but in truth when you stand at the edge of the void of life and death would you say well done - you hid your light when the world needed that light to illuminate others. Your light was part of the Universal Lumiere and you chose to suppress it. I know how I would feel. So with that in mind, I intend to be radiant in all I do and I genuinely hope that this will inspire you to be the same. The more light we bring to this world then the more the darkness becomes less fearful. In all the idea of an infectious luminescence fills me with joy and I hope it will do that for you too!
 
 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:
 


Sunday, 27 December 2015

Insights and Wisdom from 2015

 
Insights and Wisdom from 2015
Every year has its own flavour. Some years are as if you have accidentally eaten a whole chilli whereas other years have a sense of an ornate desert. This year has the flavour of a healthy smoothy with spinach, avocado and raspberry written all over it for me. It has been a year of plodding and slow and healthy insight. With this in mind here are five insights which may well inspire you or touch a chord within you.
 

·         There are amazing people out there. I often forget how amazing some people are and how humble they are with it. It is easy to be distracted by the endless idiots and aggressive types fixated on doing stupid things. Yet behind the scenes the amazing people, who are full of passion for creativity and their works/arts, simply contribute their brilliance to the world. Some gain recognition yet many others contribute in a small way and expect nothing. The point is there are amazing people who want to help others. I have attracted numerous editors, producers and great friends this year who have all demonstrated phenomenal talents and the fact they are great people. It gives me a sense of hope for humanity because if I shifted my focus to the idiots I have observed then I would wonder about the point of existence– especially with the likes of the chap that got his penis jammed in a diet coke bottle. Really!

 


 
·         Trust is a major thing for me: trust in life and trust in people. In my life I have met so many liars, con artists and those who misconstrue the truth to take advantage of people. Yet, back to the point above, there are genuine people out there who can be trusted and will openly demonstrate their trust. I always viewed them as vulnerable, yet that vulnerability is actually openness. They have dropped their defensive Armor to fully engage in life no matter what.  Those wonderful people have helped me develop my own trust in them, in my life and in my self. The more I trust in the process of life, the more the process astounds me and reveals new avenues that I would never have expected. You begin to realise that life has a process of unfolding that you will never be in control of and that unfolding has to run in a certain sequence. By trusting it you allow it. When you do not trust it – it is as if you get in the way of you.
 

·         Nutrition and how you effective you are according to the food in your system, has been a massive learning. It was simple – increase water, take flax oil, eat blended veg in smoothies and get rid of sugar and coffee. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well when you have a migraine for a week when you don’t have coffee and another for two weeks when you stop the sugar then that is when you realise how sugar and coffee have saturated your system. The big learning this year is that when I shifted my nutrition to fresh veg, clean protein and no sugar my whole attitude shifted. I felt happy, I felt everything was possible and stopped getting colds. I had the energy to work full time, write books, work on the audio books and reach my ultimate fitness. Nutrition is now paramount for me and this year I will refine further to find a way to be energised and relaxed.
 

·         Intuition has upped her game. How many times have you ignored that little voice or that weird feeling in your gut to find out later on that it was right? Well this year I allowed myself to listen to my intuition and so far it has been spot on. It has resulted in meeting the right people and knowing when to leave the wrong people to it. Intuition is something that our rapid-paced culture overlooks but the point is intuition works faster than the conscious mind and figures things out at a greater rate. So why would we ignore it? Intuition is something I now embrace because it is a fundamental part of us and it strangely enables us to ‘know’ what to do without endlessly thinking. Intuition saves me time and energy.
 
·         Love has been a fascinating insight this year. A lot of my external world, like most people, has always been validated by approval in the form of praise, results, relationships and rewards. Many have the inner dialogue that does this ‘I will only be good enough when I am… or when I have… or when I have achieved…’ Yet when you shift into your own internal world and ask yourself why do you need someone to love you – then the answer comes back because you aren’t loving yourself enough. I learned that expecting others to love you is hypocritical if you are not demonstrating love to yourself.

 

It might sound vain or wafty but loving your self can be demonstrated to your self by doing the simplest of things like nurturing the self, looking after the self and allowing yourself time to be with yourself. Back to this high-paced, high pressured world that want us to appear as though everything is okay… Well all the ‘doing’ is pointless if it means that you ‘break’ your self.  All the chasing of ideals is pointless because they are in the future. We only actually exist in the now and loving yourself now – ‘no matter what’ is liberating. Try saying this to yourself and see what happens ‘I love my self no matter what…’ That is a true declaration of self love because we often will only allow ourselves to love ourselves when we have achieved something or received approval for something. These small insights have resulted in a wonderful, yet quite gentle year. I hope by sharing these that you too may have some insights to share. If so then please comment below.
 
Link to Ruby Allure books on Audible:
 

 
Love Hunt: Dating Game Audiobook
 

 
Come on admit it - as much as we deny it - we ladies like a good love hunt.

 
We have tick lists, ideals, and we hunt in high-heeled packs. Of course, we're all hunting for that elusive right man who ticks every box and even has tidy nostril hair. Okay maybe not you, but you know other ladies who love the hunt.

 
Well, it's time for Eva and Gracie to love hunt, and their "targets" are rich men - the golden sperm. Such exciting escapades would provide the pair with entertaining discussions during their dull office hours - or so they thought. What they did not anticipate was the discovery of the "booby man"; humorous but very hard truths about wealth, themselves, power; and the RichIdiot.com phenomenon.

 
The question remains: can love really be hunted?

 
 Love Hunt II: The Love Game: Richidiot.com, Book 2 | Ruby Allure

 

 
The Love Hunt has returned. Gracie is back on the dating horse after a huge fall in her first tick-list-tastic love hunt.

 
Her new dating adventures take her and Eva into the depths of "the love game".

 
In the meantime, Eva, the ultimate Russian gold digger, has come to the conclusion that her poor "village idiot boyfriend" will never be enough. He will certainly not pay off her accumulating debts. She needs a rich man, and that means rich idiot dating.

 
In The Love Game, Eva and Gracie travel the journey of extreme love learning. On the way, they will discover their love and lust lists, their intrinsic issues, and experience some hilarious and jaw-dropping dates in pursuit of the wealthy ideal.

 
All of this in the pursuit of love.

 
The Love Hunt II is on!