Embracing Uncertainty

Who here likes to have their life in order? Who likes to know what is happening and live in a routine? Who here likes to feel safe? So what happens when all your safety lines are removed and you have to live each day and not know what is coming next? So how do you do you deal with uncertainty?

I asked the 'uncertain' question to a variety of friends of different backgrounds. Their answers were fascinating because many of them are late thirties and mid-forties and there were common themes amongst them. Those in their mid-forties were more likely to say you have to trust and let things pan out. Those in their thirties were less relaxed and said they get anxious and frustrated. Some had been given medication to alleviate the nervousness. After having a few conversations about the subject, I had a lovely moment of serendipity where this quote arrived:

Depression comes from living in the past.
Anxiety comes from living in the future.
Peace comes from living in the now.

I had not thought about life in that way; however, I realised that the only day guaranteed is today. I had spent so much time planning for the future and that future never quite turned out how I expected. If peace resides in the now then you can only really live your optimum now. So that question made me think then what is it I want to feel in a day? What is it I want to experience? It is questions like these that lead you into a warren of thoughts and ideals and then I realised - it was simple...

I want to experience Joy, Happiness, Fun and Love.

So rather than go out onto the streets and happy-hug random people, I took to meditating on these feelings in the morning. Try asking yourself what does it truly feel like to feel joy and allow yourself to feel it. This little revelation came from a network spinal analysis practitioner who I was on holiday with recently. She literally said try just feeling the emotions you wish to feel. They are all just sitting inside.

So back to the uncertainty... How does this relate? Uncertainty is life, that is a fact. We are under the impression that life is under our command; however, I have certainly learned lately that life has its own little plan which seems to be a little different from my own. The more I try to control and make it what I think it should be, the more life prizes my fingers from what I cling to and throws me into free-fall. So with that in mind, maybe the lesson is learning to embrace uncertainty. In Indiana Jones there is a bridge of faith. As he steps forward the bridge forms itself. He had to trust that he was not going to descend into a huge ravine. To embrace uncertainty one has to trust, allow and enjoy the present moment. That way you become open to all opportunities and intuition. What a lovely learning from someone who always wanted things in order...

Enjoy my audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Money-Farm-Audiobook/B010BOM9A8/ref=a_search_c4_1_2_srTtl?qid=1471072677&sr=1-2

How Do You Deal With Change?

Today I was sitting in the dental hygienist's chair. We were discussing change. Well actually she was discussing change while my cheek was being sucked by one of those sucky machines. Anyway she has been my hygienist for years. While my mouth was hoovered she said that she really did not like change. She remained thoughtful as she toured my mouth and said who really likes change?

As I left, with my teeth gleaming, the question rattled around my mind. Who really likes change? Well it occurred to me that life is change. Seasons change, people wander into your life and others leave. So the capacity to do the same thing over and over again is actually going against nature. Yes routine is nice, but life is bigger than repeating the same thing over and over again. For me, the best times in life have involved adventure and the unknown. It was exciting not knowing what was going to happen next. The times I felt stagnant was when I simply stayed doing the same thing because I knew it was easy and safe.

At the moment I am in a state of forced change. I am moving into a new career with completely new people and new 'rules'. That change makes for anxiety; however, I have always found that change is usually a relief and something better often develops. When I have moved houses, as an example, I found that change resulted in a much more beautiful home. When I have changed jobs it is usually the 'right' time and the change and the freshness is exciting.

This then makes me ask- how do you deal with change? Do you dig your heals in or view it as opportunity? In the blogs, I often reference our limited time on earth and surely we all want to experience as much as possible. By staying doing the same thing and being safe - what are you doing? Erm staying safe until you die? When you think of it like that then what change can you enjoy? What little changes could you make? When have you made a change and felt the benefit? No all change has to be scary. So with all that in mind, maybe change is something not to be feared but embraced. The flow of life is about adapting and going with it... Aren't you curious what might happen if you allowed life to bring positive change?

ELORA, THE ONE WINGED FAIRY AND THE LAST BABY GIGGLE LINK:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Elora-One-Winged-Fairy-Last-Giggle-ebook/dp/B01KYHM1G4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472123774&sr=8-1&keywords=Elora+the+one+winged+fairy

A fantasy fairy fiction novel for girls aged 8 and older...

Can having your legs waxed wipe out the electricity in a remote Sri Lankan village?

Can having your legs waxed wipe out the electricity in a remote Sri Lankan village?

One of my great friends is convinced that I got the inspiration for one of my more recent children's books from a leg waxing experience. In fact, she announced on the train that while we were in Sri Lanka that my leg wax caused a static burst that destroyed the electricity connections across a village... She said I was 'The Hairy-Legged Mystery!'

As with all myths, this one started when I looked at my 'holiday' legs and thought they needed a wax. That afternoon, while we were travelling on  a Sri Lankan train, my friend frowned at me and said 'I think those hairy-bad-boys need a wax'. She pointed at my legs rather than any other part of my body. So after travelling across Sri Lanka by train, we came to a lovely village in the mountains. It was here we found a beauty salon that had a rather good waxing menu. So while I volunteered myself for a hair-ripping experience, my great friend negotiated a rather large gin in a giant jar. She was happy to say the least and I knew, being that she was a laughter therapist, that the bar was going to be in laughaceous uproar by the time I returned.

That evening I dubiously I crossed the road and my friend waved with a huge smirk on her face and a jar of gin in her hand. She knew I hated waxing but it was necessary. Legs that resembled cousin IT, from the Adam's family was not attractive and resulted in some terrible tan lines. What's more a hairy halo around one's legs was drawing some rather curious looks from the locals.

So there I am with two lovely Sri Lankan beauticians concealing their hairy horror. The wax was applied and Rrrrip! All the village lights went out. In complete darkness I wondered whether the hair on ones' legs could create an enormous static burst... Who was I to deny the fact that the timing was immaculate? Could one quantum hair destroy a planet? Could a hairy-legged entanglement wipe out a village electricity? 'Oh madam,' said one of the beauticians. The pair proceeded to shine their mobile torches and continued with the hair-ripping escapades.

When I was smooth-legged I returned to the bar which was lit by candles and my friend had in fact befriended at least thirty people. She was hysterical because she had been watching me lie on the beauty bench and had awaited the wax. When the lights went out with the first rip she fell about in hysterics. She said I was the only person she knew who could wipe out a remote villages' electricity with one wax strip! With that little experience in mind is it any wonder that unconsciously I wrote a book called 'The Hairy-Legged Mystery?' What is strange for me is that little event had slipped my mind because I have since experienced other rather funny events. The thing is the new cover has been sent through... And when I showed it to my friend she fell about laughing. She said that the image reminded her of Sri Lanka and how my legs looked prior to waxing.. Well we all get inspiration from somewhere! So The Hairy-Legged mystery creation myth can now be related to a remote village having a complete static burst from one pair of hairy legs!

LINK TO THE HAIRY LEGGED MYSTERY:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Kids/The-Hairy-Legged-Mystery-Audiobook/B01H2HF0XU/ref=a_search_c4_1_2_srTtl?qid=1471619538&sr=1-2

How Dark Is Your Shadow?

How dark is your shadow? Well we all have a light side and a shadow side. If you think of the ying and the yang sign. That shadow side is the part of ourselves that we would rather not look at, the anger, the frustration and the special place where full-on tantrums are made. So the question is how dark is your shadow and why on earth would I even ask you such a question?

Well over the last month I have been entering 'the shadow lands' whilst writing my next book  Elora... (I mentioned the fairy book yesterday on my blog). The thing is the shadow landscape has proven a challenge for me. I found that writing all the baddy stuff was pretty tormenting. In fact it was so tormenting that I actually got stuck for a few weeks, where I literally could not progress. I went into a full state of avoidance because I did not want to go there or enter into the darkness / shadows.

After cleaning my apartment numerous times I had to face the fact I was avoiding the shadow aspect of myself. We all have this aspect and the shadowlands represent an individual's inner dark landscape This darkness is something that has fascinated me over the years. Especially when people reach a point in their lives where they discover 'The Dark Night of the Soul.' That time is when an individual fully enters into their own darkness and discovers all that they have avoided and all that they have been told is wrong in them. The thing is, this is my opinion, is that the person who shines brightest will be forced to face the depths of their darkness. Why? That light and darkness both draw energy. By resolving the darkness, empty energy is not feeding it anymore. That then frees up energy for an individual's full illumination. Have you noticed the people that really aggravate you usually do what you quite often do yourself? Have you also noticed when you are angry you meet more angry people and attract more angry situations? Have you noticed when you face and dissipate the anger then less aggravation comes your way? All of that is part of the shadow.

So this question how dark is your shadow is quite fascinating because it makes you question all that you suppress. Imagine stepping into a corridor that took you to a dark room where all the windows were closed. In that darkness all your fears, all your avoidances sit dormant. When you are in that darkness those fears have power. It is the darkness itself that makes them more powerful because you can't see them. So that room you are in has potential. You can avoid what is in the room and give it power or you can decide to shine light in the room and face what is in there. You don't have to keep the windows shuttered, instead you can open the shutters and shine light on what is in the room. It is fascinating what you will find inside. The tiny little spider (what you feared) was casting a huge shadow. The anger, that you were hiding, was not so bad once you processed it. That fear of intimacy was simply triggered from a long time ago and when rationalised meant you could have happy relationships. There are so many fragments of self lurking in the shadow lands that when you write creatively, you often enter into these lands and discover some huge inner monsters. Those monsters are equivalent of dragons to be slain  or better recognised and transformed and accepted. I will be honest with you all - writing shadows is not that pleasant; however, it enables you to process some nasty stuff from a removed state. It enables you catharsis. So why not try writing about a deep fear from a different character's perspective and in doing so you may have opportunity for catharsis.  The more you face your shadow then the darkness decreases.

Enjoy audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1471531270&sr=1-1#customer-reviews

Away with the fairies or A way with the faeries?

I can quite honestly say that I never thought I would write about fairies. As lovely as they are, for me it was just not something that I would even consider. Now, I think I have mentioned about how ideas almost float around a person like a asteroids. Those idea asteroids float around a person's head until it is time to land. There are times when there are so many asteroids floating around a person that they find it difficult to concentrate because those pesky little blighters fight for attention because they want to be landed. I am sure you have all had those creative moment before sleep where you turn the light off, have an idea, write the idea down, turn the light off and so on.. I have even taken to writing in the dark. Bizarre? Erm yes!

Thinking about it, I feel I have to take this a step further. I think these asteroids (metaphor for ideas) may actually be intelligent. Yes, this is actually making me sound particularly away with the fairies. The reason I say this is because Elora, (sorry but I can't give away the rest of the title a it is top secret while it is being edited, proof read and the cover is being illustrated) literally would not leave me alone until she was written. Her name kept appearing in places and the name of the baddy literally played around my head until I wrote it down. I did my absolute best to ignore her; however, people started appearing with fairy tattoos and I kept hearing the word fairy... Oh - gosh - I sound so odd. The thing is these characters take form in the unconscious and they do what they can to get your attention.

There I am at work with a fairy asteroid vying for attention and wanting to be creatively landed. At the same time the baddy name is tormenting me as I am attempting to work on business analysis. In the end I sat back and thought - 'right I hear your name... now show me what you want me to create for a baddy!' No sooner as I had said that - the baddy arrived in reality. Honestly it was astounding how she literally turned up. My next meeting became a full analysis in note form of the lady who carried the baddy traits. She was phenomenal. Soooo phenomenal that I almost sat in a business meeting with my mouth open. Are you curious? Okay. Have you ever felt as though the life is being sucked out of you because someone is so miserable? In that business meeting people were sitting around a table and it was as if they were turning grey in her presence. The image of a hoover attached to their foreheads kept flashing up in my mind. I wrote and I wrote and I seriously wrote. She must have thought I was so dedicated to business analysis. Later on I had a chat with her and discovered a whole new level of pessimism. In the end I asked her if she had a comedian she liked. She didn't she didn't find anything funny; in fact laughter irritated her... Do you get where I am going with this? In the end she made it clear that life could not be fun, work was not fun and that misery was what she expected. Oh my goodness - the perfect piece of inspiration for my story. As much as she has since made me redundant (oh and don't be concerned about this because all is good) she has given me three months garden leave because of my access to the systems. What makes it all the more exciting is that I have managed to complete 3 more books in this time because I am writing full time at the moment and not allowed to start work until October! Life is beautiful and the fairy hauntings have resulted in me writing a book that I feel is so my fun, filled with laughter and considers what would happen if one cruel baddy turned the world to sorrow. So...  Away with the faires? Answer is yes. A way with the faeries? I think the faeries had a way with me and wanted a book written about them. Who knows about unseen forces and their plans?

Enjoy audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

THE HIARY-LEGGED MYSTERY ON AUDIBLE LINK: http://www.audible.com/pd/Kids/The-Hairy-Legged-Mystery-Audiobook/B01H2HF0XU/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1468187800&sr=1-1#publisher-summary

How Much Do You Want It?

How much do you want it? That dream, that desire or that perfect job? What are you willing to do to put yourself on the line to get it? The reason I ask this is because a great friend came to visit me this week. She is a network spinal analysis chiropractor and at the age of thirty she has three full practices with a waiting list of three weeks for people to see her. As usual I am curious about people's approaches to life and I asked her what she considered made her so successful. Since she is rather humble, she was a little shy in her response; however, this is what she said:

You have to ask yourself how much you want that dream, that job, that ideal.
She then said you ask yourself how much work are you willing to do to achieve that goal.
What is the breaking point? The point where you say I have done my best and now it is time to walk away. When you know all that then you go for it full steam. Live fearlessly and jump right in.'
Finally she said a question she asks herself every day:  'how can I give more value with what I am doing.'
She then thoughtfully mentioned, 'the more value I give then the more I see the world around me transform. When I started out I had no patients and an empty practice. No one knew about me, however, I was determined to give every patient the best I could give in terms of network spinal analysis and in terms of life contribution. Something in this opened the world to me and I was recommended and word of mouth went around. I guess the passion I have for what I do combined with an authentic desire to be the catalyst to help people to wellness is the key.'

The woman is phenomenal and a truly great person. Of course this got me thinking about how much must we want something to jump the obstacles and stare that dream in the face when everything around us collapses. There have been times with the writing where I literally was like 'I can't do this anymore.' yet something compelled me to continue. I was discussing the fact that I had had hundreds of rejection letters over ten years with an audio-producer who recently produced The Hairy-Legged Mystery. She asked me what made me keep going. 'I was compelled to,' was my honest answer. After listening to my friend I came to the conclusion that the entrepreneur in me was called to action. I certainly wanted writing success and the entrepreneur decided to find other ways to put my work out in the world. In a time where there are so many digital options I came to the conclusion that yes you have to want that dream. You also have to be open to new and different ways to achieve that dream. There are so many people with knowledge who have already succeeded who you can ask and there is plenty of opportunity. It is through asking other people and enlisting their skills that my writing earned an income. It took around twelve years of constant persistence and plenty of failures to arrive at a place where it all slotted into place. Books sell by themselves and one gives value by sharing insights. Sometimes, and we have all been there, when you want to say 'I am done' - that is when you learn how much you really want that dream. So may people reach that point and make a decision and say 'one last try.' That last try is what often delivers success because when you look back you realise how much you really wanted it.

Enjoy my audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

BUY this laugh out loud kiss and email romantic comedy now and discover some truly startling dating escapades! You will love it!

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