Embracing Uncertainty

Who here likes to have their life in order? Who likes to know what is happening and live in a routine? Who here likes to feel safe? So what happens when all your safety lines are removed and you have to live each day and not know what is coming next? So how do you do you deal with uncertainty?

I asked the 'uncertain' question to a variety of friends of different backgrounds. Their answers were fascinating because many of them are late thirties and mid-forties and there were common themes amongst them. Those in their mid-forties were more likely to say you have to trust and let things pan out. Those in their thirties were less relaxed and said they get anxious and frustrated. Some had been given medication to alleviate the nervousness. After having a few conversations about the subject, I had a lovely moment of serendipity where this quote arrived:

Depression comes from living in the past.
Anxiety comes from living in the future.
Peace comes from living in the now.

I had not thought about life in that way; however, I realised that the only day guaranteed is today. I had spent so much time planning for the future and that future never quite turned out how I expected. If peace resides in the now then you can only really live your optimum now. So that question made me think then what is it I want to feel in a day? What is it I want to experience? It is questions like these that lead you into a warren of thoughts and ideals and then I realised - it was simple...

I want to experience Joy, Happiness, Fun and Love.

So rather than go out onto the streets and happy-hug random people, I took to meditating on these feelings in the morning. Try asking yourself what does it truly feel like to feel joy and allow yourself to feel it. This little revelation came from a network spinal analysis practitioner who I was on holiday with recently. She literally said try just feeling the emotions you wish to feel. They are all just sitting inside.

So back to the uncertainty... How does this relate? Uncertainty is life, that is a fact. We are under the impression that life is under our command; however, I have certainly learned lately that life has its own little plan which seems to be a little different from my own. The more I try to control and make it what I think it should be, the more life prizes my fingers from what I cling to and throws me into free-fall. So with that in mind, maybe the lesson is learning to embrace uncertainty. In Indiana Jones there is a bridge of faith. As he steps forward the bridge forms itself. He had to trust that he was not going to descend into a huge ravine. To embrace uncertainty one has to trust, allow and enjoy the present moment. That way you become open to all opportunities and intuition. What a lovely learning from someone who always wanted things in order...

Enjoy my audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Money-Farm-Audiobook/B010BOM9A8/ref=a_search_c4_1_2_srTtl?qid=1471072677&sr=1-2

How Do You Deal With Change?

Today I was sitting in the dental hygienist's chair. We were discussing change. Well actually she was discussing change while my cheek was being sucked by one of those sucky machines. Anyway she has been my hygienist for years. While my mouth was hoovered she said that she really did not like change. She remained thoughtful as she toured my mouth and said who really likes change?

As I left, with my teeth gleaming, the question rattled around my mind. Who really likes change? Well it occurred to me that life is change. Seasons change, people wander into your life and others leave. So the capacity to do the same thing over and over again is actually going against nature. Yes routine is nice, but life is bigger than repeating the same thing over and over again. For me, the best times in life have involved adventure and the unknown. It was exciting not knowing what was going to happen next. The times I felt stagnant was when I simply stayed doing the same thing because I knew it was easy and safe.

At the moment I am in a state of forced change. I am moving into a new career with completely new people and new 'rules'. That change makes for anxiety; however, I have always found that change is usually a relief and something better often develops. When I have moved houses, as an example, I found that change resulted in a much more beautiful home. When I have changed jobs it is usually the 'right' time and the change and the freshness is exciting.

This then makes me ask- how do you deal with change? Do you dig your heals in or view it as opportunity? In the blogs, I often reference our limited time on earth and surely we all want to experience as much as possible. By staying doing the same thing and being safe - what are you doing? Erm staying safe until you die? When you think of it like that then what change can you enjoy? What little changes could you make? When have you made a change and felt the benefit? No all change has to be scary. So with all that in mind, maybe change is something not to be feared but embraced. The flow of life is about adapting and going with it... Aren't you curious what might happen if you allowed life to bring positive change?

ELORA, THE ONE WINGED FAIRY AND THE LAST BABY GIGGLE LINK:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Elora-One-Winged-Fairy-Last-Giggle-ebook/dp/B01KYHM1G4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472123774&sr=8-1&keywords=Elora+the+one+winged+fairy

A fantasy fairy fiction novel for girls aged 8 and older...

How Dark Is Your Shadow?

How dark is your shadow? Well we all have a light side and a shadow side. If you think of the ying and the yang sign. That shadow side is the part of ourselves that we would rather not look at, the anger, the frustration and the special place where full-on tantrums are made. So the question is how dark is your shadow and why on earth would I even ask you such a question?

Well over the last month I have been entering 'the shadow lands' whilst writing my next book  Elora... (I mentioned the fairy book yesterday on my blog). The thing is the shadow landscape has proven a challenge for me. I found that writing all the baddy stuff was pretty tormenting. In fact it was so tormenting that I actually got stuck for a few weeks, where I literally could not progress. I went into a full state of avoidance because I did not want to go there or enter into the darkness / shadows.

After cleaning my apartment numerous times I had to face the fact I was avoiding the shadow aspect of myself. We all have this aspect and the shadowlands represent an individual's inner dark landscape This darkness is something that has fascinated me over the years. Especially when people reach a point in their lives where they discover 'The Dark Night of the Soul.' That time is when an individual fully enters into their own darkness and discovers all that they have avoided and all that they have been told is wrong in them. The thing is, this is my opinion, is that the person who shines brightest will be forced to face the depths of their darkness. Why? That light and darkness both draw energy. By resolving the darkness, empty energy is not feeding it anymore. That then frees up energy for an individual's full illumination. Have you noticed the people that really aggravate you usually do what you quite often do yourself? Have you also noticed when you are angry you meet more angry people and attract more angry situations? Have you noticed when you face and dissipate the anger then less aggravation comes your way? All of that is part of the shadow.

So this question how dark is your shadow is quite fascinating because it makes you question all that you suppress. Imagine stepping into a corridor that took you to a dark room where all the windows were closed. In that darkness all your fears, all your avoidances sit dormant. When you are in that darkness those fears have power. It is the darkness itself that makes them more powerful because you can't see them. So that room you are in has potential. You can avoid what is in the room and give it power or you can decide to shine light in the room and face what is in there. You don't have to keep the windows shuttered, instead you can open the shutters and shine light on what is in the room. It is fascinating what you will find inside. The tiny little spider (what you feared) was casting a huge shadow. The anger, that you were hiding, was not so bad once you processed it. That fear of intimacy was simply triggered from a long time ago and when rationalised meant you could have happy relationships. There are so many fragments of self lurking in the shadow lands that when you write creatively, you often enter into these lands and discover some huge inner monsters. Those monsters are equivalent of dragons to be slain  or better recognised and transformed and accepted. I will be honest with you all - writing shadows is not that pleasant; however, it enables you to process some nasty stuff from a removed state. It enables you catharsis. So why not try writing about a deep fear from a different character's perspective and in doing so you may have opportunity for catharsis.  The more you face your shadow then the darkness decreases.

Enjoy audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1471531270&sr=1-1#customer-reviews

When things don't go quite so smoothly...

When Things Don't Go Quite So Smoothly...

When we hit the metal gate with two kayaks on the roof and listened to the screech of metal being ripped from the roof of my friends' car, I came to the conclusion that random events happen to everyone and not just me. What made it all the more bizarre was that she continued to drive forwards even though we were snagged. When it happened we were in mid-conversation so she just kept going. The thing is people's lives are complex and the most random things happen and it is how we react to them that certainly reveals where a person is in their lives. This little even happened because a group of us were going paddle-boarding and kayaking up a river. My friend and I would usually be on inflatable paddleboards that are stored in the car. It seemed that my friend actually forgot that she had kayaks on her roof and continued to drive when we came up against the barrier. That in itself is a little insight - continuing to drive even though you reach a barrier...

This last few weeks I have been writing a book about paddle-boarding and loving writing it because so many insights come from some of the situations I find myself in when floating on the sea. Take for example the other morning. I had been paddling for hours, completely relaxed and in gentle waves. I then glanced down to see the hugest jelly fish. It was beautiful. In response a jolt of adrenaline shot through me and I prepared to fight or flight. Of course when you go rigid on your board you then become unstable - somewhat like life. I quickly caught my reaction and was like hang on.. You have been paddling for two hours and not even thought about falling in and then one blooming big jelly fish and you become all wobbly - jellified actually. It then occurred to me that we all have incidents in life where surprise jelly fish turn up or there is a collision and in that moment how do we react? At first the jelly fish threw me into instincts and fear... That made me rigid and potentially would throw me in. Yet when I relaxed and rationalised I realised there was no need to fear. Can we apply this way of thinking to life?

So back to the kayak situation - the two kayaks flew backwards off the car and smashed on the ground. The roof-rack was ripped from the roof and smashed down too. So how do you think my friend reacted? She quickly climbed out of the car checked the kayaks were okay and shrugged. 'It's done now.' With that we got the tool box out, mended the roof rack, moved the kayaks and decided to paddle and have a lovely time. That one situation could have escalated into a tandrum-filled drama but it didn't because my friend was in a space where she was relaxed. So this has played on my mind today... It is quite a lovely thing to play on my mind - how we react and how we affect ourselves through those reactions. So say she had grown angry or frustrated then what would have happened? How would that have improved the situation. The situation happened and that was it, so what is it that in our inner worlds that makes a person launch into an absolute break-down when things don't go so smoothly. What if in those moments of fear, aggravation or anguish, we simply stopped and said - you know what it happened now. Let's do something to make it right and not carry the burden of the situation. What about if something rubbish happens you simply say it's done - let's still go and have a nice time.

The thing is that simple situation could have ruined everyone's paddling fun but it didn't we simply had a gorgeous time gliding up and down the river on kayaks and paddleboards. For me that is the joy of it... The beauty and pleasure of being on water, out in nature and with people who simply get on with it when things don't go so smoothly!

Enjoy my books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE LINK: http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Money-Farm-Audiobook/B010BOM9A8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1467218674&sr=1-1

And Then What?

And Then What?

It's a strange question to ask yourself. And then what? There is something a little all over the place about it. The thing is when you reach a goal  that is when you ask the question 'and then what?' This came to me while paddle-boarding the other morning. I woke at 5.30 in the morning and the conditions were perfect. I clambered out of my bed and pumped up the paddleboard and set myself a-float (on the sea) by six. I know... It might be considered a little strange to be out on the water with no one around at that time. Yet strangely I have the most insights and writing inspirations at that time. That morning I did not have a goal, although for a while I had been wanting to achieve the Boscombe Pier to Bournemouth Pier before work. The thought entered my mind but I did not think too much about it. Instead I went into a beautiful paddling rhythm with turquoise waves lifting me on my journey.

I used to dislike waves when I first started paddling because the sneakers usually threw me into freezing cold water. After a few splash downs I got back up and learned to relax into the waves and relax into allowing my body to balance using my hips. This was a huge lesson because I learned that the more I tried to control, and the more rigid I became, then the more likely I would end up submerged. The other side of the paddleboard lesson was learning to relax and go with it. The more relaxed I was then the more effortless the journey was. I simply seemed to glide towards my goal with almost no effort at all. At times I would find myself in a meditative space as the rhythm of the paddle took over. A short while later I would find myself thinking and when I started thinking too much my balance would go. I realised that over-thinking actually affected my balance. I have found that in yoga too. The days where I have been ridiculously busy are the days I can hardly balance on one leg without toppling into my yoga colleagues. Of course I find it hilarious, I don't think the others are quite so amused.

So back to the paddling, the mesmerisation by the pattern on the water and a state of absolute peace and then suddenly I reached my goal. It snuck up on me. All I had to do was enjoy my paddling journey and I would arrive at the destination with a sense of relaxed joy. I wondered what would happen if I applied this attitude to life. If I simply found an enjoyment in all that I did, if I simply pointed myself towards the goal and then immersed myself in each moment of the journey. I found that thought quite profound.

Anyway I turned my board around and found that I started to rush back. I wondered why I was rushing, I could simply relax into the journey and enjoy my return. It was then that it occurred to me how we so often rush. It is such a waste of time rushing because rushing gets something done without any experience of the moment. Where is the enjoyment in that? As I paddled in my serene state I decided to go slower, as slow as I could. It was then I felt completely present. Everything around me was perfect - the sea, the sun, the birds and the empty space. There is a sense of zen that comes from paddling and it revealed itself in that moment. I was back at where I started, I had completely enjoyed two hours of paddling and thought I achieved a goal effortlessly... It was lovely. I then thought well what is next... And then what?

I paddled in and a random chap came running down the beach. He said that paddleboarding looked lovely and he had always wanted to try. He asked me whether it was easy. I replied 'it depends how relaxed you are.' He studied me curiously. I asked him what the time was and I had fifteen minutes so I handed my board and paddle to him and gestured for him to enter the water. He was wearing his jogging wear and was definitely going to get wet. I showed him how to stand up and how to balance. He did as I said and splat. Then splat again and then double splat. I said that he needed to relax and not control the board. He managed to last about a minute before another big splash. He then paddled in. He loved it. He grinned from ear to ear and in that moment he decided he was going to get his own board. We then went our separate ways but before that he asked me out for a coffee to repay my kindness. It was then that I realised the 'And then what...' Once you reach your goal, why not inspire others to reach theirs through 'random acts of kindness?'

Enjoy my books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

NEW RELEASE: TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE MISCHIEFS

 https://www.amazon.com/Tingle-Dingle-Little-Mischiefs-Allure-ebook/dp/B01G9C0XC2?ie=UTF8&keywords=Ruby%20Allure&qid=1465049617&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

NEW RELEASE: THE HAIRY-LEGGED MYSTERY

https://www.amazon.com/Hairy-Legged-Mystery-Ruby-Allure-ebook/dp/B01G2C0Y9Q?ie=UTF8&qid=1465049724&ref_=sr_1_2&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

Why Hide Your Light When You Can Be Radiant?

Why Hide Your Light When You Can Be Radiant?

 

Are you allowing yourself to be the best that you can be? Or are you hiding your true magnificence through fear of upsetting others? I have noticed a common theme among many of the 'relatively' successful people that I have worked with recently. It seems they are under-selling themselves or now quite allowing themselves to fully radiate their true greatness. Why? When you become truly radiant you are noticed. When you are noticed people pay attention to you. I then noticed the discussions taking place when one person achieved great success. Lines such as 'they have their nose up so and so's arse.'

'They know how to talk and get others to do it for them.' Or the worst for me was 'well they had it easy.' How did they know that. Did they sit behind the scenes observing how easy it was for them? Isn't it a shame that when someone works really hard and gets reward that people would belittle them rather than celebrate them?

 

 

Two of my good friends were promoted this week and I went and found them and made them do a 'bottom-y celebratory dance. Yes I did! Why? Well when people work so hard to succeed they deserve to celebrate and be celebrated. Yet quite often other people get jealous and bring them down. Yet when 'the back-stabbers' are successful they expect others to give a shit. This got me thinking about success and how so many people under-sell themselves or stop achieving their true glory because they don't want to upset other people.  What is worse are the dream breakers. Those who have an opinion or make a snide comment about an idea or dream are ridiculous. I am sure some of you are shaking your heads saying I would never do that... Well think about it - there are so many people lined up to tell you why you can't or why you shouldn't. These people's verbal poison may stopped you completely committing yourself to 110% because you would be concerned how you were viewed. Or you really wanted to do something but were concerned others would criticise you. If this does not apply to you then you are lucky. Really lucky... because so many people hold themselves back through fear of isolation. So many people view rich people as lonely and others fear the haters. The thing is the truth is whatever is said about you is no reflection of you; instead, it is about the person who said it. So where is this going? Well what if you did step into your true potential and share your wonderful gifts with the world? What would happen if everyone stepped up and inspired rather than criticised. What if we celebrated true success without belittling... Wouldn't that set an example? Would that motivate more people to do good in the world?

 

This week I was in a yoga class striking the warrior pose and I had one of those moments where a little voice says something so subtle yet so poignant.... 'Why wouldn't you allow yourself to reach your true potential? What is the benefit?' It is at times like these you think I should not be thinking. I should be focused on the yoga; however, it is at these precise moments that part of the universal jigsaw puzzle assembles in front of your eyes and reveals the way forward. One has to intend to be radiant and to radiate in a world that wants to steal your fire. One has to choose to become one's best and share their talents with the world without fear. One can choose to hide, but in truth when you stand at the edge of the void of life and death would you say well done - you hid your light when the world needed that light to illuminate others. Your light was part of the Universal Lumiere and you chose to suppress it. I know how I would feel. So with that in mind, I intend to be radiant in all I do and I genuinely hope that this will inspire you to be the same. The more light we bring to this world then the more the darkness becomes less fearful. In all the idea of an infectious luminescence fills me with joy and I hope it will do that for you too!

 

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 



Clan Destine - Thriller / Espionage Novel

 

How would you feel if you knew there were women out there who worked to protect the innocent from the cruel, depraved, and vindictive people who walked Earth? The Feminas, an elite group of women trained to assassinate in calculated feminine ways, work for the CLAN. They don't use guns or their bodies as lures; instead they are calculated, precise, and not easily traced when removing their targets. They are the "grey women" who blend in, observe, and create perfect accidents.

Eve, one of the Feminas, excels at target eradication. However, her compulsion for perfection causes the CLAN concern. The more she attempts to conceal her tapping to the beat of 10, the more she feels she's breaking down. The problem is that when one suppresses emotions, then the trauma will rise in other ways. So how can Eve maintain her perfect targeting record and reconcile her denied self without facing a whitewash process?

 

Link to Ruby Allure books on Audible:

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http://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B015YJ3P8K&action_code=AUDORWS0424159DCE

 

Frode 10-20-15

Frode 10-20-15 Member Since 2015

Norwegian in a English world!

 

"Dead Women Have Books"

Clan Destine: Dead Women Have Vendettas by Ruby Allure is my third book by Ruby Allure. AND: Its the best! Money Farm and The Office Zoo are both funny and good. This is darker, and i like, no wait; I freaking love it! Yes this not the most funny one, no it does not have the lough out loud moments, but the humor works even where it is a thriller. I recommend all the books i read by Ruby, and i cant wait to see what she is going to do next.

Mil Nicholson is the perfect voice for this book, her british accent is just what this book need. It is read with love and i do feel that. 11 hrs and 17 mins never feels boring, uninteresting or just bad. It feels right!

Ruby Allure is maybe new to you, but i see all bright things in her future.