Embracing Uncertainty

Who here likes to have their life in order? Who likes to know what is happening and live in a routine? Who here likes to feel safe? So what happens when all your safety lines are removed and you have to live each day and not know what is coming next? So how do you do you deal with uncertainty?

I asked the 'uncertain' question to a variety of friends of different backgrounds. Their answers were fascinating because many of them are late thirties and mid-forties and there were common themes amongst them. Those in their mid-forties were more likely to say you have to trust and let things pan out. Those in their thirties were less relaxed and said they get anxious and frustrated. Some had been given medication to alleviate the nervousness. After having a few conversations about the subject, I had a lovely moment of serendipity where this quote arrived:

Depression comes from living in the past.
Anxiety comes from living in the future.
Peace comes from living in the now.

I had not thought about life in that way; however, I realised that the only day guaranteed is today. I had spent so much time planning for the future and that future never quite turned out how I expected. If peace resides in the now then you can only really live your optimum now. So that question made me think then what is it I want to feel in a day? What is it I want to experience? It is questions like these that lead you into a warren of thoughts and ideals and then I realised - it was simple...

I want to experience Joy, Happiness, Fun and Love.

So rather than go out onto the streets and happy-hug random people, I took to meditating on these feelings in the morning. Try asking yourself what does it truly feel like to feel joy and allow yourself to feel it. This little revelation came from a network spinal analysis practitioner who I was on holiday with recently. She literally said try just feeling the emotions you wish to feel. They are all just sitting inside.

So back to the uncertainty... How does this relate? Uncertainty is life, that is a fact. We are under the impression that life is under our command; however, I have certainly learned lately that life has its own little plan which seems to be a little different from my own. The more I try to control and make it what I think it should be, the more life prizes my fingers from what I cling to and throws me into free-fall. So with that in mind, maybe the lesson is learning to embrace uncertainty. In Indiana Jones there is a bridge of faith. As he steps forward the bridge forms itself. He had to trust that he was not going to descend into a huge ravine. To embrace uncertainty one has to trust, allow and enjoy the present moment. That way you become open to all opportunities and intuition. What a lovely learning from someone who always wanted things in order...

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Why Master the Mundane?

Why Master the Mundane?

Is there something wrong with ordinary or mundane? If so why is that? Why does everything have to be spectacular, amazing or phenomenal? In this world of ‘instant’ there is the constant need for stimulus. That endless search for stimulation overrides the gentle moments that take place in the ordinary. In the meantime our endeavours need to be posted for the world to see them. The validation comes from likes and external sources. Wow! So you want to spend your next eighty years in that constant motion with the need for people to like pictures of the next spectacular thing that has been done. We must be aware that we are conditioned by society yet one of the subliminal messages suggests we should always be working and aspiring. There are a couple of clever catch phrases you may recognise ‘you can be anything if you have…’ and ‘treat yourself.’ This is all consumerist propaganda to make you buy pointless items to keep an economy in motion.  Of course being satisfied and content does not make you buy.

You may wonder where this has come from. Well one of my big things to understand this year is contentment and satisfaction. On the journey to satisfaction, over the last couple of weeks I have been on couple of meditation retreats. It had a rather profound affect. When you remove all the external expectations you have space and time to reflect. In that time of reflection it became apparent how fast life is. Without the constant bombardment of advertising there is time to appreciate yourself and be with who you really are. It was during this time I recognised the ordinary. I know, I had been so busy with work, aspirations and writing that I had not noticed the ordinary. In the quiet time I saw that the mundane was actually beautiful. I realised the underlying issue was that the mundane became boring because I was over-stimulated. The irony is that wherever you are, it is you that you that you are taking to the situation. So by enjoying the meditation and being in deep relaxation my perspective shifted. No matter where I was, depending on my inner state, determined how I responded. Now imagine you are in a peaceful tranquil state experiencing life rather than in a fast state of inner anxiety. It is funny how your inner state completely changes everything. Since the retreat I have been amused by my work environment, which at times falls into utter chaos. When my state was internal chaos the situations would make me stressed. Now that I am doing the regular meditation, the situations that erupt no longer affect me in the same way and I now can see calm and effortless solutions. In addition, I can now fully experience the situations rather than ‘get them done’ and move onto the next random event. Of course it is early days; however, the endless need to aspire, chase and be fast is something we all become caught up in. It is as if everyone is trying to out busy each other through fear of not appearing to live an exciting life. Everyone is rushing but where to? Death?

Have you realised the big secret that the economic world does not what you to know? The best experiences are with friends, family and take place in the quiet moments between chasing ideals. When you realise this you then wonder why you bother chasing. When you step into your stillness and experience each day for that day you open up a whole universe of beauty in the mundane. That is why, in my opinion, it is worth mastering the Mundane.

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

Writing for Healing

Writing For Healing

 

This week I have taken the week off because quite frankly it was time for a holiday. What’s more, I completed The Ocean Callings edits on audio and one needs to celebrate with a little time away. So how does this relate to writing and healing then? Well when I complete work I take time off and I make sure that I make space for healing and personal writing. One has to make the space to re-consider, re-evaluate and re-direct. It is so easy to be busy all the time jumping from one goal to the next. Yet there is time for relaxation and there is time for action. These are all necessary parts of growth. What’s more, there is time for progression and time for reflection. I feel it is necessary to take the time to notice how you have progressed and learn from what you have achieved. Is there a better way? What worked? What wouldn’t you do again? This applies to life too and that is why a journal is a powerful tool. Do you have a journal? Do you ever ask yourself how you really feel or what you really want? Do you ever consider how you have done? What in your life works? What can you do to increase what works? Or are you spending your time dwelling on what life is lacking or on the shyte? I have mentioned before, in a couple of my books, if you shine your torch on a turd then that is what you will see fully illuminated. I look at the mind as a light house and where you rotate that light beam is what becomes illuminated. Where would you choose to focus a spotlight in your life if you had the choice? Which parts of your life would you want the world to see and which other parts would you prefer remained private? Now, that is why one can use writing for healing. You can purge yourself of what you really think, what you dislike and what you love. How else do you find out what is going on in the unconscious when the conscious mind is full of mental tittle tattle?

 

Anyway today is the day where I would like to share with you three prompts that may or may not catalyse healing. This is up to you to do and the results can only come from you. The prompts are just suggestions and you can tailor them to the areas of your life you would like to work on. In my opinion it is only when you write something out then you learn what is really going on in the churning mental background.

 

·         I feel that I have achieved…. And this is what worked… And this is how I would do it differently.

·         The thing I would most like to change… With all resources were available to me then this is how I would go about it…

·         The strongest feeling I experience is…. And I would like to…

I hope this inspires you…

If you have any prompts that work for you or may work for others then please share in the comments below…

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 

 

 

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

 

The Virtues of Sleep on Wellbeing

The Virtues of Sleep on Wellbeing

 

 

  

How much sleep do we really need and how does this affect our emotional wellbeing?  I was lucky enough to attend an Emotional Wellbeing Speaker Event which discussed sleep and its effects on our health, our work and our mood.  Before we go any further here are a few interesting sleep facts:

·         Man is the only mammal that willingly delays sleep.
·         Exercising regularly generally makes it easier to fall asleep and contributes to a greater depth of sleep.  However, exercising sporadically or just before going to bed will make falling asleep more of a challenge.
·         Divorced, widowed and separated people report increased insomnia.
·         Caffeine is said to be the most popular drug in the world and caffeine inhibits sleep.

 

 

 

·         In general, most healthy adults need seven to nine hours of sleep a night.  However, some individuals are able to function without sleepiness or drowsiness after as little as six hours of sleep.  Others can’t perform at their peak unless they’ve slept for ten hours.
·         We naturally feel tired at least twice during the day: about 2:00 AM and 2:00 PM. This corresponds with the natural dip in alertness primarily responsible for the post-lunch dip.
·         Sleep is equally as important as diet and exercise.
·         There are individual differences in the need to nap.  Some adults and children need to nap.  However, the majority of teenagers probably nap in the afternoon because they are not sleeping enough at night.
·         People who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to have larger appetites due to the fact that their leptin levels (leptin is an appetite-regulating hormone) fall, promoting appetite increase.
 

 

·         There are 15 million snorers in the UK. 10.5 million men snore and 4.5 million women sleep reverberate too.
·         40.6 million, of adults in America sleep six hours or less a day and around 90 million Americans snore.
·         The three main reasons for snoring are: being overweight, smoking and consuming alcohol.
·         The louder you snore, the more likely you are to be overweight. The more overweight you are the more likely you are to resemble a pneumatic drill.

 

 

 

The above facts come from the National sleep foundation and the British Snoring and Sleep Apnoea Association.

With nearly a third of the British and American population suffering from insomnia, it is apparent how quickly a sleep problem becomes an awake problem. The surge in sleep disorders has resulted in a decline in both mental and physical health.  What’s more, a lack of sleep affects relationships, the state of wellbeing and concentration. 

 

The demands of modern society play a key role in the surge of sleep disorder cases.  With work hours increasing, multiple demands from electronic devices and general over- stimulation, is it any surprise that the outcome is stress?

 

 The health risks from a lack of sleep include gaining weight, increased blood pressure and cardio-vascular problems.  With continued sleep deprivation the immune system becomes less resistant, the pain threshold is reduced and there is an increased likelihood of developing type 2 diabetes.  In addition a lack of sleep brings on early signs of aging – I know!

 

 

 SLEEP PROBLEM-> HEALTH PROBLEM -> EMOTIONAL PROBLEM    -> WORK PROBLEM

 

What is the solution?  Well, to get more sleep there are a number of approaches.  First develop a regular sleep schedule.  Invest in a good quality and comfortable bed.  Avoid being hungry before going to bed and do not drink too much water.  Ideally do not have caffeine four hours before sleep.

 

 

  

It is better not to take smart phones or electronic devices to bed because they emit a blue light which inhibit melatonin which then impedes the ability to sleep.  Whether we like it or not, the truth is that pets in the bedroom disrupt sleep, so put yourself first and put the pet in its own bed.

 

 

Develop pre-sleep relaxation techniques such as mindfulness (there will be a blog specifically on this) where you mentally focus on each part of the body starting at the feet and imagine the body part relaxing before moving up the body to the top of the head.  There is also a breathing technique where you pay attention to your breathing and count backwards from one hundred with each breath. 

 

 

Ruby Allure Books created to inspire you:)

 

LINKS TO AMAZON.COM:

 

New in Paperback:  http://amzn.com/151230526X

 

 

 

 

LABYRINTHINE AMAZON.COM LINK: Link: http://amzn.com/B012FAYI5U

 

 

:

AUDIBLE LINK FOR A SHORT COURSE IN CREATIVE WRITING: http://amzn.com/B01390THLK

 

21/08/15

 

"An Unexpected Gem"

***I was provided a copy of this audio book for the purpose of a review ***

With the required disclaimer out of the way, let me be brutally honest, I had not expected this little gem. In fact, I had expected my listening would be a bit rough and was fortified by it being less than 2 hours.

The synopsis says the author wrote the book as a takeaway from her evening classes on creative writing. My mental context was ... Community Ed evening classes ...and expected a well intended but kind of amateur product. However, I am interested in adult education, and batter my own nerd head against a giant personal creativity brick wall.

So you have an idea of my mind set... low expectations along with high interest.

Amateur hour it was NOT.

I don't know where the author teaches her class, but Sign Me Up! And bring the narrator. Wow. Two hours of unadulterated, straight up, right on, good learning material delivered by a close friend just sharing the material. The narrator's voice was warm, sincere without any artifact or pompous patronising, and well modulated throughout. The material was mind opening for me, with the right mix of the mechanics of writing exercises, sufficient context that using prompts now makes sense to me, and a sprinkling of the inner heart work of creativity through written material.

This was just what I didn't dare hope for in a how to creative writing listen.

Truly an unexpected gem and a learning and growing experience for me.

A keeper and one I will return to many times as I deconstruct my own wall, one block at a time.

Thank You, Ruby and Thank You, Erin.

 

TO BUY MONEY FARM ON AMAZON.com http://amzn.com/B010F04W9O

· Frode

06/08/15

5 STAR

"M.O.N.E.Y. is bad? This book is not!"

So Money Farm by Ruby Allure was a surprise! When I REALLY did not read things about this book I review for Audiobook Blast, I sometimes get books I don't know something about. BTW: I read 99% about the books I want to review, but this book I can't remember I did that for. Anyways: This was a nice surprise, and I think it is one of those books that is better the second time you read it. No joke! I listen to this twice before I made this! Money Farm makes you thin, and who does not like to hear a book that makes you think? It is an awesome book, that I will recommend to all that likes audiobooks, and really to people that does not!

Helen Lloyd English accent its the topic like a glow and a hand! Her "lady like" voice is so cold, and clear I feel that the author made this book thinking that Helen Lloyd would read it out loud! That is how I feel those two fits together! The 2 times 14 hrs and 6 mins I spend with her never feels boring or uninteresting! I would love to spend it again, and I will because this book I will hear again, and again, even when it is 14 hrs and 6 mins long! That is saying something!

I was provided this audiobook at no charge by the author, publisher and/or narrator in exchange for an unbiased review via AudiobookBlast dot com

Link: http://amzn.com/151230526X

MONEY FARM

 

· "Incredibly thought provoking..."

What did you like most about Money Farm?

It was an eye opener.

 

What did you like best about this story?

I like the way it made you think about the way normal everyday life is here and now, and the future...

 

Have you listened to any of Helen Lloyd’s other performances? How does this one compare?

Helen Lloyd narrated this fairly long audiobook brilliantly. Although the story content was very intense and thought provoking, her lovely smooth voice was very easy to listen to and I thought it was just perfect, a fascinating book wonderfully narrated.

 

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes it was, although it is too long to do so.