Insights and Wisdom from 2015

 

Insights and Wisdom from 2015

Every year has its own flavour. Some years are as if you have accidentally eaten a whole chilli whereas other years have a sense of an ornate desert. This year has the flavour of a healthy smoothy with spinach, avocado and raspberry written all over it for me. It has been a year of plodding and slow and healthy insight. With this in mind here are five insights which may well inspire you or touch a chord within you.

 

·         There are amazing people out there. I often forget how amazing some people are and how humble they are with it. It is easy to be distracted by the endless idiots and aggressive types fixated on doing stupid things. Yet behind the scenes the amazing people, who are full of passion for creativity and their works/arts, simply contribute their brilliance to the world. Some gain recognition yet many others contribute in a small way and expect nothing. The point is there are amazing people who want to help others. I have attracted numerous editors, producers and great friends this year who have all demonstrated phenomenal talents and the fact they are great people. It gives me a sense of hope for humanity because if I shifted my focus to the idiots I have observed then I would wonder about the point of existence– especially with the likes of the chap that got his penis jammed in a diet coke bottle. Really!

 

 

·         Trust is a major thing for me: trust in life and trust in people. In my life I have met so many liars, con artists and those who misconstrue the truth to take advantage of people. Yet, back to the point above, there are genuine people out there who can be trusted and will openly demonstrate their trust. I always viewed them as vulnerable, yet that vulnerability is actually openness. They have dropped their defensive Armor to fully engage in life no matter what.  Those wonderful people have helped me develop my own trust in them, in my life and in my self. The more I trust in the process of life, the more the process astounds me and reveals new avenues that I would never have expected. You begin to realise that life has a process of unfolding that you will never be in control of and that unfolding has to run in a certain sequence. By trusting it you allow it. When you do not trust it – it is as if you get in the way of you.

 

·         Nutrition and how you effective you are according to the food in your system, has been a massive learning. It was simple – increase water, take flax oil, eat blended veg in smoothies and get rid of sugar and coffee. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well when you have a migraine for a week when you don’t have coffee and another for two weeks when you stop the sugar then that is when you realise how sugar and coffee have saturated your system. The big learning this year is that when I shifted my nutrition to fresh veg, clean protein and no sugar my whole attitude shifted. I felt happy, I felt everything was possible and stopped getting colds. I had the energy to work full time, write books, work on the audio books and reach my ultimate fitness. Nutrition is now paramount for me and this year I will refine further to find a way to be energised and relaxed.

 

·         Intuition has upped her game. How many times have you ignored that little voice or that weird feeling in your gut to find out later on that it was right? Well this year I allowed myself to listen to my intuition and so far it has been spot on. It has resulted in meeting the right people and knowing when to leave the wrong people to it. Intuition is something that our rapid-paced culture overlooks but the point is intuition works faster than the conscious mind and figures things out at a greater rate. So why would we ignore it? Intuition is something I now embrace because it is a fundamental part of us and it strangely enables us to ‘know’ what to do without endlessly thinking. Intuition saves me time and energy.

 

·         Love has been a fascinating insight this year. A lot of my external world, like most people, has always been validated by approval in the form of praise, results, relationships and rewards. Many have the inner dialogue that does this ‘I will only be good enough when I am… or when I have… or when I have achieved…’ Yet when you shift into your own internal world and ask yourself why do you need someone to love you – then the answer comes back because you aren’t loving yourself enough. I learned that expecting others to love you is hypocritical if you are not demonstrating love to yourself.

 

It might sound vain or wafty but loving your self can be demonstrated to your self by doing the simplest of things like nurturing the self, looking after the self and allowing yourself time to be with yourself. Back to this high-paced, high pressured world that want us to appear as though everything is okay… Well all the ‘doing’ is pointless if it means that you ‘break’ your self.  All the chasing of ideals is pointless because they are in the future. We only actually exist in the now and loving yourself now – ‘no matter what’ is liberating. Try saying this to yourself and see what happens ‘I love my self no matter what…’ That is a true declaration of self love because we often will only allow ourselves to love ourselves when we have achieved something or received approval for something. These small insights have resulted in a wonderful, yet quite gentle year. I hope by sharing these that you too may have some insights to share. If so then please comment below.

 

Link to Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 

LINK TO SOUNDCLOUD

https://soundcloud.com/ruby-allure/creativewriting-edit-99-retail-sample-mastered

 

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

 

 

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Love-Hunt-Dating-Game-Audiobook/B015G4ICYA/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srImg?qid=1448187651&sr=1-1

 

Come on admit it - as much as we deny it - we ladies like a good love hunt.

 

We have tick lists, ideals, and we hunt in high-heeled packs. Of course, we're all hunting for that elusive right man who ticks every box and even has tidy nostril hair. Okay maybe not you, but you know other ladies who love the hunt.

 

Well, it's time for Eva and Gracie to love hunt, and their "targets" are rich men - the golden sperm. Such exciting escapades would provide the pair with entertaining discussions during their dull office hours - or so they thought. What they did not anticipate was the discovery of the "booby man"; humorous but very hard truths about wealth, themselves, power; and the RichIdiot.com phenomenon.

 

The question remains: can love really be hunted?

 

 

 

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Love-Hunt-II-The-Love-Game-Audiobook/B0176Z9Y08/ref=a_search_c4_1_7_srImg?qid=1448187651&sr=1-7

 

The Love Hunt has returned. Gracie is back on the dating horse after a huge fall in her first tick-list-tastic love hunt.

 

Her new dating adventures take her and Eva into the depths of "the love game".

 

In the meantime, Eva, the ultimate Russian gold digger, has come to the conclusion that her poor "village idiot boyfriend" will never be enough. He will certainly not pay off her accumulating debts. She needs a rich man, and that means rich idiot dating.

 

In The Love Game, Eva and Gracie travel the journey of extreme love learning. On the way, they will discover their love and lust lists, their intrinsic issues, and experience some hilarious and jaw-dropping dates in pursuit of the wealthy ideal.

 

All of this in the pursuit of love.

 

The Love Hunt II is on!

 

What Is True Self-esteem?

Self-esteem and true confidence.

Have you ever considered what gives a person true confidence and a sense of self-esteem? I am not talking about the type who have external bravado, where someone appears, instead the type of self-esteem I am referring to is where there is a certain glowing presence emanating from the person.  In fact these people ‘feel’ so present and unshakable. They are like the solid oak trees who feel so rooted in themselves and definite that nothing will phase or sway them.

The reason I have been thinking about the subject was a little while ago I had some very complex work that I had to complete with a mass of formulae and inter-linked calculations. It was so complex that I could barely explain how I had come to the final figures to my colleagues, let alone have anyone check what I had created. This took me into a state of uncertainty because it meant I had reverse everything that I had calculated to see if I returned to the origin. Again there was no one who could provide approval or tell me I had made the right calculation. Now that was it… that was the key word ‘approval’. For some reason I had a sense of doubt about what I had created and was searching for someone externally to approve of my calculations.

On the day when I had to hand in the calculations there was webinar all about confidence. While I reversed my calculations simultaneously and cross-checked I watched/listened intermittently to the webinar. It was quite profound because at one point I was staring at the figures and the woman being interviewed said ‘sometimes we just have to have confidence in what we have created and let it go.’ At times like that you wonder whether you are on a big brother show. Needless to say, I handed in the work but considered what true confidence and self-esteem really were. This took me on a series of tenuous thoughts about approval, where people search for approval and what happens when we don’t receive approval.  In truth, these thoughts haunted me. I observed people and their behaviours in attempt to work out who had self-esteem and who didn’t. I particularly liked bar observation in the ‘mating’ dynamics of who is attracted to whom; who is punching above their weight and what people do to gain attention? Bottoms hanging below skirt lines suggested low self-esteem along with bosoms that were directed to the ceiling. What made it most fascinating were the women who did not need to flaunt, instead carried a self-assured presence. ‘Something about them,’ magnetised people. It was the same with certain chaps, they had a stance and a sense of self-reliability – a definite presence. It was not false or manufactured.

In every case it was not about how they looked, it was about who they were. Think about it – we all have internal and external worlds. I talk about this a lot when I teach creative writing. The internal world is often completely different, almost the polarity of the external world. So many people expend huge amounts of energy appearing to be that which they are not whilst suppressing that which they are or don’t really like. Why don’t they like that part, their shadow? It is because at some point someone did not approve of it.

So with all these thoughts I wondered what a person would be like if they did not need other people to approve of them. How free would they be? Imagine you had a dream and you wanted to really make it happen yet you shared it with someone and they said it was rubbish. What would you do? Would you believe their opinion was right over yours? This is where true self-esteem comes in. You would not care what the other person thought. So that then made me ask the question – how do we arrive at that point? How do we stop being bothered by other people’s opinions or require their approval? Well the answer, in truth, is inside. The person searching for approval externally needs to re-direct their gaze internally and search for the parts in themselves that are not being approved of by them. One can do this by journaling, doing emotional freedom tapping or contact the inner child through meditation. The journey to uniting your fragments involves tracing the parts of you that are not approved of. Once you find them, no matter how ugly they are you must intend to accept and love these parts through your different ages. All the time you reject these parts of self, they will have power over you. Once you accept them you can integrate them and you will stop meeting people who represent these parts of you. Once you start this work you will discover many vaulted memories and possibly experience some extreme emotions. When these feelings do arise, sit with them, feel them and allow them to be processed. Over time, one fragment, by another fragment, the parts of self that have not been approved of are united. In doing this you gain energy and a sense of self-power and love. Over time you will arrive in a state of ‘no need.’ In that state you realise you have become. In a state of being nothing wavers you and that is when you find true self-esteem. This is when everything becomes possible. It is not an easy journey but one worth taking to unite the fragments of self. Alternatively you can keep looking externally, hand over your power to others to have them tell you that you are okay… To me that sounds ridiculous when you can become your ultimate and empowered self. Isn’t life about becoming the best you can be? To me that best does not require permission from others to be your ultimate self.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00TZWLRL0

 

Oh and my great news: The Money Farm is going to be produced on audible and so is A Short Course In Creative Writing. In celebration of this fact the above Kindle version is on offer for £0.99 on amazon.co.uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00TZWLRL0