To my Dear Office 'Take All The Credit', it seems that the very fact that I have shared your existence with the world has had a strange knock-on effect and people want to share their stories about how they dealt with people like you in their office or work place. You are a universal entity that everyone knows exist. What's more, by sharing your escapades with the world has increased my book sales. So thank you for that.
So I would like to share my continued rebellion, which I don't think you have figured out. You see you know that I am a hard worker. It is in my nature. You also know that I can't say no to a challenge, it is the athlete in me. Yes it is an unfortunate trait, yet, since you 'delegated' your work to me and claimed it as your own, something shifted. In fact my rebellion has provided its own challenge. What a beautiful challenge it is. You see when you emailed me yesterday afternoon demanding me to do a full analysis by the following morning for your meeting you noticed that I said no. That was the first time in nearly two years. Oh that was satisfying but I did have to go for a walk and have a chat with myself about not giving in. You know I am reliable and am usually up for the challenge. You love to play on that - especially when I am leaving for the weekend. What is worse is that I would have worked late and provided you with something spectacular.
I have noticed that people who take all the credit play on hard working natures and prey upon those who seek to be liked. You know who the walk-overs are and who will not stand up to you. It is a kind of corporate bullying. You also know what to say to your hard workers and when it comes to bonus time your perfect patter transforms from 'we & our' sentences to 'I and my'.
So yesterday I realised you were bemused by my big No! Especially when I advised you I had more important projects that were priority. Some of them are fantastic. My favourite, and excuse my language, is 'Project Fuck Off To Those Who Take All The Credit', 'Project We Are Going To Say No at the Last Minute' and 'Project INNOVATE'. I will share more with you on that last one another time.
Now I want you to know that it isn't just you 'Mister I Take All The Credit' - I am making sure your female equivalent is receiving the same treatment. She recently received a bottle of Champagne for all the effort on the project she achieved completely by herself. Well four of my team members were dumbfounded since they had actually created the whole thing and she said she had worked on it alone. She has a big learning on the way: the people who did all the work are also going to say no to working with her - commonly called amongst us 'no, no and definitely no!' Guess which project that one is.
So my final little confession of the day is that you left your screen unlocked, what a shame. We could have emailed the head of the corporation saying that you had handed your notice in because you had clearly fallen in Love With him. Instead we came up with something far better and I cannot take all the credit for this. We cancelled and re-booked your 'Continuous Improvement' meeting where you take all of our ideas and tell the management they are yours, and invited some rather interesting characters. I have to say it was a real joy. We all loved watching your face in that confined glass meeting room with the other 'Office Take All The Credit'. I guess you weren't expecting to continuously improve with all 'The Office Stinkers' from around the office. We had two flatulent types and three 'we don't know what shower gel or shampoo is'. Amazing! Oh it was wonderful: five really stinky people in a confined space and the 'STINKER MANIFESTO POWERPOINT ON A HUGE SCREEN.' Of course you only read the title once it was on screen because we named the file 'Continuous Improvement', which it was: it was a stinkacious improvement! Oh how very satisfying!
Anyway I have to thank you Mister I Take All The Credit because you have fuelled my rebellious nature and helped my compulsive need to efficiently complete projects before deadlines. What you don't realise is my first letter to you literally brought thousands of people to my blog, many have worked with people like you. The general consensus of opinion is that your type last about two years maximum and then are either found out or move roles to prey upon other decent hard working people.
Other than that, my news is my books are selling well. I know you don't have a clue that I am an author because you don't take interest in those who do the work, which makes it even more amusing. Oh, and you know what? It seems people found the Office Types in the Office Zoo very real, that is because they are real and based on real people like you. After my little letter to you at the weekend the LOVE HUNT books suddenly had a beautiful sales surge. I guess it is because the story is about what goes on in the office when two women chat over email about their dating escapades. Without you and watching the office dynamic then the Love Hunts, Money Farm and Office Zoo would never have existed because I needed somewhere to direct the bizarre happenings, odd observations and bonkers behaviours. So you being a complete dick is literally perfect. As I have said before flowers grow from shyte and I am looking forward to seeing where a flower emerges from on you (probably the end of your nose, it spends enough time in shyte).
Finally my authorial life has taken off and the power has shifted. I don't have to impress you because you are not my boss and.... I do not have to rely on my job for income anymore - thank goodness. The best part, which is my favourite, is I get to lead a double life knowing you have no clue how the world is reading about your dire antics... Happy days!
Thank you TEAM REBEL! It was so much fun!
Link to Ruby Allure books on Audible:
Come on admit it - as much as we deny it - we ladies like a good love hunt.
We have tick lists, ideals, and we hunt in high-heeled packs. Of course, we're all hunting for that elusive right man who ticks every box and even has tidy nostril hair. Okay maybe not you, but you know other ladies who love the hunt.
Well, it's time for Eva and Gracie to love hunt, and their "targets" are rich men - the golden sperm. Such exciting escapades would provide the pair with entertaining discussions during their dull office hours - or so they thought. What they did not anticipate was the discovery of the "booby man"; humorous but very hard truths about wealth, themselves, power; and the RichIdiot.com phenomenon.
The question remains: can love really be hunted?
The Love Hunt has returned. Gracie is back on the dating horse after a huge fall in her first tick-list-tastic love hunt.
Her new dating adventures take her and Eva into the depths of "the love game".
In the meantime, Eva, the ultimate Russian gold digger, has come to the conclusion that her poor "village idiot boyfriend" will never be enough. He will certainly not pay off her accumulating debts. She needs a rich man, and that means rich idiot dating.
In The Love Game, Eva and Gracie travel the journey of extreme love learning. On the way, they will discover their love and lust lists, their intrinsic issues, and experience some hilarious and jaw-dropping dates in pursuit of the wealthy ideal.
All of this in the pursuit of love.
The Love Hunt II is on!
