Another Letter to 'Take All The Credit' for OUR work - The Rebellion is in Full Swing!

To my Dear Office 'Take All The Credit', it seems that the very fact that I have shared your existence with the world has had a strange knock-on effect and people want to share their stories about how they dealt with people like you in their office or work place. You are a universal entity that everyone knows exist. What's more, by sharing your escapades with the world has increased my book sales. So thank you for that.

 

So I would like to share my continued rebellion, which I don't think you have figured out. You see you know that I am a hard worker. It is in my nature. You also know that I can't say no to a challenge, it is the athlete in me. Yes it is an unfortunate trait, yet, since you 'delegated' your work to me and claimed it as your own, something shifted. In fact my rebellion has provided its own challenge. What a beautiful challenge it is. You see when you emailed me yesterday afternoon demanding me to do a full analysis by the following morning for your meeting you noticed that I said no. That was the first time in nearly two years. Oh that was satisfying but I did have to go for a walk and have a chat with myself about not giving in. You know I am reliable and am usually up for the challenge. You love to play on that - especially when I am leaving for the weekend. What is worse is that I would have worked late and provided you with something spectacular.

I have noticed that people who take all the credit play on hard working natures and prey upon those who seek to be liked. You know who the walk-overs are and who will not stand up to you. It is a kind of corporate bullying. You also know what to say to your hard workers and when it comes to bonus time your perfect patter transforms from 'we & our' sentences to 'I and my'.

So yesterday I realised you were bemused by my big No! Especially when I advised you I had more important projects that were priority. Some of them are fantastic. My favourite, and excuse my language, is 'Project Fuck Off To Those Who Take All The Credit', 'Project We Are Going To Say No at the Last Minute' and 'Project INNOVATE'. I will share more with you on that last one another time.

 

Now I want you to know that it isn't just you 'Mister I Take All The Credit' - I am making sure your female equivalent  is receiving the same treatment. She recently received a bottle of Champagne for all the effort on the project she achieved completely by herself. Well four of my team members were dumbfounded since they had actually created the whole thing and she said she had worked on it alone. She has a big learning on the way: the people who did all the work are also going to say no to working with her - commonly called amongst us 'no, no and definitely no!' Guess which project that one is.

So my final little confession of the day is that you left your screen unlocked, what a shame. We could have emailed the head of the corporation saying that you had handed your notice in because you had clearly fallen in Love With him. Instead we came up with something far better and I cannot take all the credit for this. We cancelled and re-booked your 'Continuous Improvement' meeting where you take all of our ideas and tell the management they are yours, and invited some rather interesting characters. I have to say it was a real joy. We all loved watching your face in that confined glass meeting room with the other 'Office Take All The Credit'. I guess you weren't expecting to continuously improve with all 'The Office Stinkers' from around the office. We had two flatulent types and three 'we don't know what shower gel or shampoo is'. Amazing! Oh it was wonderful: five really stinky people in a confined space and the 'STINKER MANIFESTO POWERPOINT ON A HUGE SCREEN.' Of course you only read the title once it was on screen because we named the file 'Continuous Improvement', which it was: it was a stinkacious improvement! Oh how very satisfying!

Anyway I have to thank you Mister I Take All The Credit because you have fuelled my rebellious nature and helped my compulsive need to efficiently complete projects before deadlines. What you don't realise is my first letter to you literally brought thousands of people to my blog, many have worked with people like you. The general consensus of opinion is that your type last about two years maximum and then are either found out or move roles to prey upon other decent hard working people.


Other than that, my news is my books are selling well. I know you don't have a clue that I am an author because you don't take interest in those who do the work, which makes it even more amusing. Oh, and you know what? It seems people found the Office Types in the Office Zoo very real, that is because they are real and based on real people like you. After my little letter to you at the weekend the LOVE HUNT books suddenly had a beautiful sales surge. I guess it is because the story is about what goes on in the office when two women chat over email about their dating escapades. Without you and watching the office dynamic then the Love Hunts, Money Farm and Office Zoo would never have existed because I needed somewhere to direct the bizarre happenings, odd observations and bonkers behaviours. So you being a complete dick is literally perfect. As I have said before flowers grow from shyte and I am looking forward to seeing where a flower emerges from on you (probably the end of your nose, it spends enough time in shyte).

Finally my authorial life has taken off and the power has shifted. I don't have to impress you because you are not my boss and.... I do not have to rely on my job for income anymore - thank goodness. The best part, which is my favourite, is I get to lead a double life knowing you have no clue how the world is reading about your dire antics... Happy days!

Thank you TEAM REBEL! It was so much fun!

Link to Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

 

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Love-Hunt-Dating-Game-Audiobook/B015G4ICYA/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srImg?qid=1448187651&sr=1-1

Come on admit it - as much as we deny it - we ladies like a good love hunt.

We have tick lists, ideals, and we hunt in high-heeled packs. Of course, we're all hunting for that elusive right man who ticks every box and even has tidy nostril hair. Okay maybe not you, but you know other ladies who love the hunt.

Well, it's time for Eva and Gracie to love hunt, and their "targets" are rich men - the golden sperm. Such exciting escapades would provide the pair with entertaining discussions during their dull office hours - or so they thought. What they did not anticipate was the discovery of the "booby man"; humorous but very hard truths about wealth, themselves, power; and the RichIdiot.com phenomenon.

The question remains: can love really be hunted?

 

 

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Love-Hunt-II-The-Love-Game-Audiobook/B0176Z9Y08/ref=a_search_c4_1_7_srImg?qid=1448187651&sr=1-7

The Love Hunt has returned. Gracie is back on the dating horse after a huge fall in her first tick-list-tastic love hunt.

Her new dating adventures take her and Eva into the depths of "the love game".

In the meantime, Eva, the ultimate Russian gold digger, has come to the conclusion that her poor "village idiot boyfriend" will never be enough. He will certainly not pay off her accumulating debts. She needs a rich man, and that means rich idiot dating.

In The Love Game, Eva and Gracie travel the journey of extreme love learning. On the way, they will discover their love and lust lists, their intrinsic issues, and experience some hilarious and jaw-dropping dates in pursuit of the wealthy ideal.

All of this in the pursuit of love.

The Love Hunt II is on!

Do You Have One Of These In Your Office? The Office Stinker!

THE OFFICE ZOO Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B013H91D56

 

The Office Stinker!

There is usually at least one Office Stinker. No one likes to say anything in case they offend the stench-originating party. So why is it okay for this stench-emitting individual to offend everyone’s nostrils on a daily basis? The aroma of rotten sprouts, body odour and general death fills the air and everyone tolerates it because they fear offending the stink-acious individual! Come on!!! Really? Instead of confronting the stink originator, everyone makes faces or discusses the rancid aroma in non-stink-infested locations around the office or in the toilet. The fact that people escape to a lavatory to avoid a stink may alert you that something has gone seriously wrong! Subtle hints do nothing to alert this individual to their insidious smog. A surround of air-freshener plug-ins will not change the awkward truth – this person stinks!

 

In truth, someone should provide the stinker with the truth that something horrible is taking place around them or being discharged from them. That courageous someone (who is kind and honest – the office straight down the line/ give it between the eyes) needs to deliver the news politely. ‘Please Office-stinker wash your undercarriage/smell-emitting orifices or leave!

Through careful observation, I have noticed there seems to be two factions of office stink. There are those who do not wash properly or at all. They have a tendency to violate nostrils on a continual basis and over a time-period. You know when they are in the office because there is a waft of rancid bodily odour with a hint of sour garlic. Strangely they appear completely  unaware of how bad they smell, yet have not worked out that shower gel and water applied one’s body on a daily basis increases the number of people who to talk to them. What’s more, greasy hair slicked to ones face can be transformed by using shampoo, a beautiful luxury that makes one’s hair clean and shiny! The other benefit is that one can flick one’s hair without experiencing a soggy slap to the face.

 

The Office Stinker unfortunately never recognised the above body cleaning revelations; instead, those poor blighters who sit in close proximity become accustomed to such a smog, stuff tissue up their nostrils or wear scarves to cover their noses. Appearing like a bandit on a daily basis does not do much for one’s self-esteem or provide the ‘bandity’ individual with a bonus. In truth, this violation to human nasal rights is not fair! Those harassed by nasal invasion dream about an allocated stinker’s desk located outside the building or on a remote island so that fellow workers can concentrate rather than gag!

 

 

BUYERS MAKE THE BEST LOVERS - NO ONE TOLD YOU THAT DID THEY?

OFFICE ZOO LINK TO AMAZON.COM Link: http://amzn.com/B013N51MNC

LINKS TO AMAZON.COM:

LABYRINTHINE AMAZON.COM LINK: Link: http://amzn.com/B012FAYI5U

A SHORT COURSE IN CREATIVE WRITING LINK: Link: http://amzn.com/B01390THLK

MONEY FARM LINK TO AMAZON.COM :Link: http://amzn.com/B010F04W9O

I thought I may as well add the most recent Money Farm review... Love it!

 

Extremely thought provoking...

BySusan Keefeon July 13, 2015

Format: Kindle Edition

Gillian’s world is turned upside down when she is unexpectedly ‘released’ from her job. Her government funding is revoked after the board decides they did not like a paper she wrote on ‘Reactants, resistance, reflexivity and reversal in times of financial and social hardship.’

All of a suddenly her secure life has gone. What will she do? All around her people are getting into debt, being encouraged to spend more than they have, buy things they don’t need. Possessions are everything, all that matters. Why? How had the world gotten into this state, and why didn’t the powers that be want to hear what she had to say?

Not taking her redundancy laying down Gillian’s resolve hardens as she actively strives to understand the financial system and money handling. Living on her savings whilst looking for a job, she soon discovers that it won’t be long before she is homeless.

But what about M.O.N.E.Y? The people who work for M.O.N.E.Y live at the Money Farm, which was a series of huge walled islands, linked by bridges, which has been in existence for over 200 years. Gillian becomes obsessed with the M.O.N.E.Y concept. Who are these people, how are they chosen? M.O.N.E.Y is totally self-sufficient, secretive, she has to know more.

How do you become part of M.O.N.E.Y, this amazing organisation whose employees themselves are intriguing?

Then, one day she follows a M.O.N.E.Y employee out of a shop and asks the man the leading question “How do I become one of you?”

This simple question, and his reply changes her life forever.

As she trains and is inducted into the world of M.O.N.E.Y, Gillian soon discovers that she has in fact been chosen. Her militant nature and questioning attitude allows her to think outside the box. However, I wondered, as the story progressed, did M.O.N.E.Y have any idea of what her impact would be?

This was a fascinating book, deep and very thought provoking, it made you wonder…

I will certainly be looking out for more very interesting books by this talented author.