Who should be chasing who?
In this brave new digital world, where we select potential
mates from a digital domain based on images and profile, it seems that a whole
new host of confusion has developed. There is an endless supply of options in a
fickle fantastical environment and when those options don’t work out then there
is always another and another. With that in mind, originally couples would date,
adapt and work out their differences. In many cases they developed acceptance,
tolerance and patience. So what has happened in the digital era? The individual
has become digitally disposable and replaced instantly by a new dating avatar.
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Consider how quickly change takes place in our environment
and this is happening within the digital dating world. Numerous people I have
dated and friends I know can have up to ten people on the go all at the same
time. They are working by numbers. The question then becomes if you keep eating
chocolate how can you taste a good one? This applies to dating, after a while
one loses sight of what is good and who is right for them. It is the cliché of
not being able to see the wood for the dating trees. With all this
disposability then where is the chase? Is there a chase or is it too easy to
move on? What is it that makes people worthwhile? How does a man demonstrate
his worthiness? What makes you decide on a person when they could be deciding
on ten others? In truth, constant rejection and repeating dating cycles of
disposability is damaging. Why should anyone have to chase to prove they are
worthy? One of the beautiful women I worked with became so desperate because
she had not heard from a person she dates that she phoned a mobile company to
check whether the whole network was down. Yes!!! Imagine!!! With this in mind, I
suggest a new approach. Don’t chase, have faith in your value – make an effort;
however, you know if someone is half hearted. I would say after two unanswered
texts – do not humiliate yourself or chase. Also for those ladies who are likely to become
psycho and get very easily tempted – delete the number and maintain your
dignity. Endless texting will not endear you to anyone. The truth is – if someone
values you they will make an effort. If both parties make and effort then there
is the potential for a proper relationship.
Chasing is boring, why not try a new approach - develop
yourself, love yourself and know you are good enough. Be out in the
environment, shine and talk to people. People gravitate to those who genuinely
like themselves. When you love who you are – not in a vain way – in an
unconditional way – then your whole demeanour states you are ready and
deserving of love. Strangely, when you reach that point you do not need to
attract it externally and that is often when it comes along.
Think of all the good relationships you have had – how did
they arrive in your life? I am sure that life is an intelligent force. There are
people around us all the time – there are so many potential people to meet, if
you are open and friendly. You don’t have to hide behind a screen. Plus the
only way you truly know if you are attracted is how your body feels. Tick lists
from endless profiles result in discontent. I am not saying that people do not
meet through the internet; however, unless the new potential partner removes
their profile once you reach the second stage, then there will be endless
temptation. There is always someone better. My advice is be content with what
you have now accept being happy whether you are in a relationship or single. Stop
chasing people who are not reciprocating, it is a waste of energy and if you do
need to use the internet accept you have entered a sausage factory filled with
endless digital dreams. Ultimately love comes without a chase – it is a mutual
unconditional attraction – there should be no chase.
LINK to ALL RUBY ALLURE books: http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Ruby%20Allure&search-alias=books-uk&sort=relevancerank
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