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Dear Eva,
Love Hunt 2 - The Love Game Day 7 of 7
Dear Eva,
Eva – really!!!
There you are bouncing your bust around the fat arsed brigade and you are
telling me to be kind! On a daily basis you are showing them how unsexy they
are. That is also unkind. I also agree with what you say about our differences.
That is what intrigues me about you. I really have no clue what goes on in your
head in comparison to mine. I could never flaunt my ‘wares’ so obviously. That
is why I find you fascinating – you really enjoy using your assets to piss
women off. I find that hysterical!
Anyway, I
couldn’t say anything to the ghost of diet hell past. For a start I had
chocolate in my hand. Being caught with chocolate in the hand by those who have
done diet hell past is a crime punishable by public facial waxing! Eating sugar
shows weakness! No matter how small the piece of chocolate is there will be a
tutt or a ‘I see your weakness’ look and you will feel fat emerging from every
pore as you balloon in public. That is how it is... the brain washing. Weakness
is chocolate – strength is celery... I hate bloody celery too! The choco-krypto-nite.
Anyway let’s
talk about other nicer things. I feel bad enough. I saw her walking along the
corridor and her trousers look like they have a skid-mark travelling towards
her knee. Why does no-one tell her? Probably for the same reason that I did not
run up to her and say hi – it looks like you have a skid-mark on your
trousers... Oh this is so immature! I am a professional woman discussing
skid-marks! Where is the class in that? There is only arse in that! There is only
posterial postulation in that. See how one can evolve crassity (this is not a
real word) into enlightened thought of marking of brown substance at
exaggerated speed.
In terms of
news from rich men, I have to admit that I have been avoiding the dating site
through the devastation of the built up hopes experienced in past dating
disasters. I am almost scared to go on there and meet another opportunist or
sex-pest. I know that all men are not the same and there are genuine ones out
there but learning how to filter them is the difficulty. I guess that is where
discernment comes in. The men on the wealthy website seem so well versed in
their spiel. I always believe it because I talk the truth. I assume that others
do that too because I never saw the point in telling lies. It is as if these
chaps have developed a ‘convince the woman into bed’ script with specific lines
that result in a toad finding a comfortable hole.
Anyway enough
of dating. No doubt it will happen again soon. Anyway since I have been back I
have noticed a few changes in the office. It seems like the office pervert has
upped his game and brought a kind of hair piece. I think he is having a bit of
a post-mid-life crisis. He keeps approaching the photocopier when the young
temps are there. He reminds me of a big bad wolf dribbling over his potential
prey. The petite little twenty-somethings scramble off as soon as he approaches
with his pervacious drooling smile. He has a new tactic too – he asks them if
they know how to unjam the photocopier, which of course involves them bending
over. Then he admires them in their newly vulnerable position. He has noticed
me watching him. He frowned earlier when he became aware of me watching whilst
touch typing simultaneously. I increased the rapid type as he repeated his hunt
on a newbie. Another time I shot him in the forehead with an elastic band and
pretended it wasn’t me. He knows I am onto him. I just don’t know how to turn
the situation around – so that the situation is reversed. I will enjoy planning
that one. I love it when the predator becomes the prey!
Another new
eventuality – we now have an office sexual fantasy for the women. He arrived
today – yippee! This chap has been transferred from a contingency department
across the hall. He is tall, has broad shoulders, pecs and large arms. He wears
tight trousers and strolls about the room with one of those smiles that melts
cheese. He reminds me of the young Elvis crossed with the body of the statue of
David, however, there appears to be plenty of package potential or that he is
warming his brie baguette in his trousers. You can’t help but notice the
additional lunch in those tight suit trousers. When he walks past women rotate
on their chairs and the intensity of typing increases. What a pleasant change
for us ladies to have something to look at. Adbi and Greg, think is disgusting
how the women giggle and are unable to construct sentences in his presence.
Anyway, the female
office hotty on this side of the room has him firmly set in her breastial
sights. When I say sights, it is as if she is rotating her female artillery in
his direction while she stands with her hands on hips. She is working on
establishing her role as alpha female. In the same way as you have defied boosooka
gravity, the breast display has been upped in the attention game. Also
Boobilesque Bertha senses the competition and seems to be moving through the
office more hurriedly of late. The increased jiggling to jug ratio has peaked.
The boys over here are happyily consumed by the hotty hypnosis. You know I
never would have thought that my days at work would result in tit-trending and
establishing mesmerisation techniques between men and women in an office. It is
below the belt baguettery versus the bumper bosom bonanza. Obviously my work is
not terribly fulfilling or challenging of late. It just seems to be numbers
noise in the form of higher management metrics and financial reporting. I guess
I have post-holiday blues. So at least I have a distraction. I think I will
have to come up with another innovation to distract me. They weren’t terribly
excited by the stress pod idea when I came up with silent booths to alleviate
stress using inflatable baseball bats and blow-up people that you can attach a
face to. Also the giant bubble wrap cubicle fell on deaf innovative ideas too.
They want all these ideas but only want ones that make money. What they have not
considered is when people become stressed they become ill and that is where
they lose money. If we had instant stress relief then there would be less
illness. Oh and the corner punch bags were considered too violent! Boo! Instead
they have invested in numerous plastic plants. How does a plastic plant relieve
stress?
Gracie.
Hello Gracie,
Can you let me into your office? I need
to see new office sexual fantasy and enter the arranged breast arena. Can you make
medal so that we can all compete? I like idea of giant bubble wrap but not
punch bags. That is too much. Women punching bags in corner. Next you will have
a ring and women hitting each other with designer handbags. Violence does not
solve anything. Right I am on my way over, I have some files that I can pretend
to bring to your desk. I will smile a lot and we will see what happens. I am
also wearing very short skirt and high heels! On my way!
Eva
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