Ruby Allure's Books

Ruby Allure's Books
Ruby Allure's Books

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Love Week - Love Hunt Chapter 3










Good morning lovely Gracie,

How was your rowing this weekend and your course? What a coincidence Friday was - shame you had to leave the bar early for early morning rowing exercise. I am actually amazed by what happened.


Oscar and I were having great time and of all coincidences - there you are in the same restaurant with your other friends. Meeting you helped Oscar relax in strange environment. Later we danced nonstop all night. He said watch out, now he might want to go out all the time! He said that you were very clever, great fun and pulled some very good dance shapes. Some of those moves he has never seen before. It must be your yoga! Anyway, I am glad he liked you. Now we analyse. What you think of him? He is soooo sweat!



Hello lovely,

How random that we ran into you in that restaurant… I looked over at you and you were gazing lovingly at your man. I was watching for a while – your gaze was really intense. You were only three tables away and you didn’t even notice me because your eyes were glued to him. I walked past your table twice and you didn’t see me! Hilarious! I was waving for ages before he pointed at me. That is sooooooooooo hilarious. You really were clinging on so tight that I am amazed that you even managed to leave him to go to the loo. There were moments when I wondered whether he could get food to his mouth because you were holding his hand the whole time. Is that the Russian way of doing things?


Erm please do not find me patronising but just a little tip – you might want to write sweet rather than sweat. I think I mentioned about the sweat in a previous email. Sweat is the liquid that pours from the body when overheating and sweet is the taste of sugar. I would go for sweet when describing him.


I was pleased Chris and Oscar got on so well. Chris is one of the traders from London who works with Olga…. A lot of fun! We just spent ages being silly and telling stories about our life’s escapades. It seems that Chris and I have lived a little too extremely for some people! Also his dating stories are also catastrophic. It seems there are some rather strange women out there too. He seems to be a magnet for them! He went on a date with a woman who would only dine at restaurants where the starters cost one hundred pounds! Imagine that!


I still find it amusing that after we said our goodbyes that you ended up in the same bar as us. I half expected you to go home. When I noticed you arrive, I got the others to vote as to whether we should disturb you or not. You looked happy just being with him – that’s why we didn’t come over straight away... I am amazed by how long you can actually stare at a person without blinking. That seems to be quite a talent! You were so consumed in looking at him that you didn’t talk. I found that a little strange because you are so chatty normally. Well it is time for me to meet a decent chap now. To be honest I am fed-up with waiting. I think I have to go back on the Rich fart website and deal with their demands. It is time to filter the rich idiots, rich perverts and the rich egos to find the genuines. Oh God why do I put myself through this?  You met Oscar there – the thing is, and I do not mean to be rude but he does not come across as wealthy.


Incidentally, now that I have finished writing my current book I will have some time! So as promised I will make time to date these men...



Hello Gracie,

I am glad you like him. I’m so happy with Oscar. We have great time together. Fun times. I can see us soon cooking in my new flat. I imagine us just sitting around kitchen table and chatting, proper family life, which we both love. Although I must not chat too much - he says that I do talk a lot and I am not talking half as much as usual.


I told you he is in band. He will probably sing for me too… He loves to sing. He is very good at singing – he told me.


Go, on Rich bloke website - there must be some nice men there. Some that even you – the most critical woman in the world - will like! He is not rich, his friend told him to go on there because of better quality of woman. That is where he found me – he was right.


I spoke with Adriana last night and said to her that we went to new bar, and Oscar pointed out how many single blokes there were. She said, gosh it was the opportunity for me to meet more than one man if I was on my own - why would I take new man when I could have many men? I thought OMG; all I wanted to be is with my new man. I don’t need someone else’s. Just because she is bored of her husband, and always looking for replacement it does not mean that we are all like that! She really thinks that if new man is away I should be finding others just in case. Why would I do that? One at a time!!!



Hello again Eva, That is quite funny. Did you mean that she suggested that you should go on your own to meet more men? I don’t quite understand the last sentence… I think you mean that you are happy with your own man so why look at others?


I will start again tonight on Rich bloke website… I will filter through the emails and make my responses. I just feel a bit weird about it. We will see what happens…  I find it odd that you search through profiles and pictures that were created to gain attention. As you said, it is like shopping online – you never get what you see. Why can’t men do what they used to do and actually talk to you rather than look or feel your behind when they are drunk?


The other night a whole stag party felt my bottom – it turned out they were part of a rugby team. As they walked past me they gazed back at me mischievously. The next thing I know I was swept up, lifted in the air and then they ran along the high street with me above their heads. Not one of them talked to me, instead they all just had a look or a feel. I find it so bizarre. That is probably why I am so aggressive. By the end of the night my bottom had been felt so much that I snapped and did the same to a random chap who felt my bottom. I grabbed his crutch and practically launched him in the air. He was so stunned when I put him down. I said ‘See how you like it!’

He replied – ‘I really like it!’

Bloody hell! I can’t win!


I tried to text you the cover image of my new book again… What do you think?



Oh Gracie, Why do you do these things? It is not a battle between man and woman. You do not teach this man a lesson. You just shocked him... He liked it! I am laughing at desk. Who picks man up by penis?


Beautiful, the cover. I think it will really stand out if it was on shop shelves.


Adriana said why did I go to bar with Oscar if there were so many single man to meet?

And I meant that I don’t want to meet anyone, all I wanted is to be with Oscar.

This is her problem, she is married and looking for someone else. Her husband is not rich enough in her eyes. She want Hollywood home and to live in house with famous people. Silly girl – husband is amazing man. She just have problem with not being how you say – satisfied. Why is she thinking everyone is the same? Stupid girl. Definitely not happy and wants no one else to be happy.



Hello Eva,

You know what? Some people are idiots. They are always focused on what they don’t have rather than what they do have. She is lucky that someone married her and tolerates her behaviour.


Anyway there is a Le Café voucher… Do you definitely have Thursday free this week?


Oh the boys have just arranged the fruit on my desk in the shape of a penis. Two of them are sniggering whilst trying to pretend they didn’t do it... Oh and I hear that even my manager contributed one of his satsumas to make the display. We work for an international corporation and I have phallic bloody fruit arrangements on my desk!

Why does my whole floor of men have to be married? And why do they all have to be so naughty?



Afternoon Gracie,

Yes, shall we make Thursday our Christmas celebration?

And the men who work here are safe and married. They have no adventure. Their balls have been made small. All very nice but excitement for them is penis made of fruit for good looking girl on team – do you think they do same for fat wives!



Oh my goodness Eva, 

I think I have done it! I have found someone with no excessive nostril or ear hair!


Very articulate – have a look at him and tell me what you think. This is his profile: Eloquantchappy - I am well educated to doctorate level. I have an excellent career that sends me all over the world. I would like to meet intelligent ladies for potential friendship and possibly more. Ideally they will be articulate, amusing and confident. I like the simple things in life, I particularly enjoy new experiences and love to have a good laugh. My friends would say that I’m honest with a stormy mind. Personally, I would say that I am a little too patient and can be too nice - even when I don’t agree with them or their opinions. I do not particularly like confrontation so listen to what people say and respect other people’s opinion. Respect is something I have learnt over the years. Living such a life has enabled me to experience the world and various cultures. I love good company, like people who don’t pretend to be something they are not and aren’t false. I love conversation that is stimulating, fun and cultural. Please contact me if you feel the same….


He actually contacted me to say that I look lovely. Then again to say I look really lovely. The third email said that I sounded lovely in my profile – he must have actually taken time to read it. In the fourth email he said the following:


Hi Gracie

You really are an inspiration. I have trawled through this site and here you are - a beauty and an intellect.  What a rare find! Here is my mail – I look forward to hearing from you – I hope it works. Andreas x


So I went back to him with the below:


Hi Andreas,

Yes the email has worked. Apologies for not responding sooner. I had numerous responses and had to filter the messages. I prefer to write here because it is much better than going on that website. I particularly like your profile and attitude.


So Eva, this is his sales pitch to me that is all about him:

Hello Gracie this is how I would sell myself usually:  Intellect, articulation and refinement are very important to me. I am highly educated to PHD level and find that many women do not manage to converse at this level. I am a very passionate man and expect the same from you.  I have earned my wealth through hard work and wish to share my precious time with someone worthwhile. The ideal candidate is tall, elegant, refined and knows who she is. I have lived in numerous countries around the world including China, U.S and Australia. In the last couple of years I have settled in London. I only make short journeys for business now so am able to spend time with that special someone.


What do you make of that Eva?

Talk soon,




Hi Gracie,

He looks nice enough. The profile is a bit demanding but give him a go and who knows. He says he likes women who are intelligent. Does he like women more intelligent than him? I do not think so! He has no idea what is coming his way with you… Good luck to him. I hope he has – how you say turdy balls – of course he will need them.



Hello there Eva,

I just spat my drink at the screen. The word you want is sturdy – that means strong. Turdy balls – I don’t think I can even write the meaning of that. I shook and cried with laughter while I wrote my response. I had to go to the disabled toilet to laugh without anyone hearing... Oh God your Russian-ness has me in hysterics.


Anyway, I think he might be cleverer than me – he is PHD level. It will be interesting to meet such an intelligent man. I hope he will push my intellectual limits and challenge me. In the meantime, I have been trying to book the Le Café but they are not answering again… They must miss out on huge amounts of business by not answering the phone. So with that in mind, what would you like to do?



Hello Gracie,

Shall we just turnip like we did before? If not there then we go to the pizza place on the corner. Maybe print their vouchers just in case. Remember I will be off work a few days to move flat... All very exciting but have not packed a thing yet. Oscar is angry at me – says that I am being mad. What is wrong with leaving it until last minute? You know me – throw everything in bag when the time is up and go...  I like thrill! I have asked him to help me buy furniture. Oh what a lovely date that will be! La, la, la!





Come on admit it - as much as we deny it - we ladies like a good love hunt.
We have tick lists, ideals, and we hunt in high-heeled packs. Of course, we're all hunting for that elusive right man who ticks every box and even has tidy nostril hair. Okay maybe not you, but you know other ladies who love the hunt.
Well, it's time for Eva and Gracie to love hunt, and their "targets" are rich men - the golden sperm. Such exciting escapades would provide the pair with entertaining discussions during their dull office hours - or so they thought. What they did not anticipate was the discovery of the "booby man"; humorous but very hard truths about wealth, themselves, power; and the phenomenon.
The question remains: can love really be hunted?





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