Ruby Allure's Books

Ruby Allure's Books
Ruby Allure's Books

Wednesday 23 September 2015

LOVE WEEK - LOVE HUNT Chapter 4


CHAPTER 4

 

CONCERNS 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 Morning Eva...

I will bring a turnip if you need me to. I don’t know what we will use it for. Anyway I was talking to Abdi about dates including furniture and house stuff. He said be careful with the furniture date. Men don’t like that kind of thing early in relationships and they certainly don’t like jobs lists to do. He says they just want the physical action first and then you can give them ‘jobs’ to do.... That is just his opinion. He says if you need any jobs done he will be happy to help but his wife will be really unhappy if he does help. He is grinning to himself and is calling you wife number two! Ha.

 

Anyway, I have missed you the last couple of days with the Richidiot.com goings on... I know you are off to move flat but it is weird not having you here. I love our little world of random conversation and realise how much our analysis keeps me distracted from the mundane job that I am working in... The boys are fun but these disastrous dating discussions are far more exciting!

Gracie

 

Oh Gracie, I want to write long email but no time. Will have to direct my man while he lifts new furniture. He seems very red in face. Not happy. I thought all men knew how to put furniture together. I thought it was man genetic. Seems I must be wrong. I have no idea how to read instructions so will end up with chair, wardrobe and table as one. Then there will be leftover screws. I am feeling furniture sad. Why do I pick man with no furniture skill? Maybe you should add desire for furniture skills to your profile.

Talk soon.

Eva

 

 

Oh Eva – furniture sadness breaks my heart. So how did the move go?

If you answer this - I will know that you are back in today. God I hope you are in today because I have so much to tell you! I will write it anyway because then you have it for your return.

 

Okay – so I think I have met someone. Remember the profile I sent you for this Andreas chap? Well we are going on a date next Friday in Winchester… It is all very strange because ‘I feel’ him without even meeting him… So odd! It sounds like how you were with Oscar when you first met…

 

He called me and we talked for ages. Plus he had a lovely voice. He cooked salmon and other healthy food while we talked. That is already in his favour. The thing is… oh how do I say this? Well, I think I have ‘virtually’ met him before. Nine months ago, when I was on the site, he got really intense and I stopped talking to him… One of his pictures triggered the memory… It is probably just me being defensive again… The conversation was amazing but he repeated a previous conversation we have had. What particularly bothered me is that he said he was new to the site. I guess they all say that... Also the second aggrevation is – why didn’t he recognise me from nine months ago? What do you think Eva?

Talk soon

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

I am in. Have more emails than one Russian lady should try and read in a day!

 

The flat move went fine thank you. My baby saved the day because he did it all! We turned it into our date and while I was packing he moved it all. He was great. How many other men would take day off work to spend time moving stuff around?

 

Oh and in terms of holiday - you know we decided not to go to Thailand or Russia this time. We go later - perhaps in February. My Mum said St. Petersburg is minus thirty degrees and I don’t have time to sort my son’s visa before I go. That is why I ask you about Christmas. So what you are doing? I know your parents live away. Oscar will ask his parents if I can spend it with them, so we will see. What are your plans?

 

Interesting about the new man – just go with it and see what he is like. Surely he would remember if he had contacted you before. Did you mention it?

Eva

 

Hello Eva,

That flat move sounds perfect considering you did your last minute speciality and did not pack until the morning of the move. You do amaze me. I could not have handled that! You just react to everything whereas I have to plan, order and structure. We are so different… You only just make a train or plane and I am there with all my contingency plans and a pilot licence! Ha. I am glad that you do not have to coordinate army troops; although, it might work in their favour because they would probably miss the battle!

So how did it feel waking up in your new place?

 

And I agree about going to Russia - I don’t think I could handle minus thirty degrees. That would mean icicles hanging from all available and exposed appendages.

 

You know what? I have been going through my emails and this Andreas is definitely the chap I met on the Rich bloke website before. He was a little too intense for me then. Maybe he changed. See I can be considerate and kind! He is completely open and says exactly how he feels. We talk very easily and he is very intelligent. He is forty-four or so he says. He works as some kind of Director for a large corporation – something to do with bridges. He is also very creative too… He is the same height as me, so no high heels until we know each other better, then I do not de-masculinise him. See I am learning. He seems very well educated and just seems quite decent (for a change). In truth, I am a bit scared… I think you had that moment where you got butterflies in your stomach. I can kind of ‘feel’ that tingle with Andreas and that unnerves me… All of this has made me realise how set in my ways I have become. I am very used to being single and relationships mean compromise to me. As you said – relationships become a mirror to yourself… We will see. I hope the budgie that looks back from my mirror is beautiful and not a psycho budgie!

 

Oh Gracie, I just did a little clap at the desk. The moaning woman is on her fifth bar of chocolate in one hour. When I make big clap noise with giant smile she looked at me with angry eyes and jammed chocolate in mouth. I am so excited for you. I could never see you as budgie. You are more of a peacock with all that feather waving... Although, the woman does not wave her feathers - it is only feather waving cock... Okay you not cock more like swan. They are nice birds... You are a nice bird too! So tell me more!

Eva

 

Eva, you certainly have a way with words. It is always interesting how you see life and how you see me. Thank you for the swan and telling me about your thoughts regarding feather waving cocks. You really are original...

 

Anyway, he lives in London and suggested staying in a hotel in Winchester on that Friday night. That way he could turn it into a little break. I can drive – that way I have my escape route in the form of a car. I suggested Winchester because then I will not run into anyone I know – plus it is lovely there.  Do you remember the date I went on when I ran into a whole bunch of friends at the precise moment when the date had just trodden in a dog shit wearing flip-flops? That was rather awkward. There he was dragging his foot over long grass, all red in the face with a bunch of my friends watching in amusement. At least I learned that one couldn’t moon walk in flip-flops!

 

So we will find out whether he is decent on Friday. Fingers crossed and legs open – did I just write that? Ha. It is a saying one of the older rowing women said to me the other evening. She is hilarious! Oh I have copied his email below. My question was why was he on Rich bloke twice and why doesn’t he remember me? My suspicious nature is rising to the surface. My budgie is getting ugly! It will be pecking the mirror soon!

Gracie

 

Andreas wrote: Good evening Gracie,

I am glad that everything is in order regarding our date. In answer to your question – why am I on the site – well I am not completely sure why I joined that particular site. My intention was to meet someone away from my circle of lawyers and city people. They grow tedious and repeat the same conversations. In truth, I have been craving to meet someone with a diverse sense of interest. A zest for arts and creativity are necessary because both play a big part in my life.

 

I used to do life drawing as a hobby, writing and photography too. As you may have noticed that is very different to my education, although my education has a big creative side to it too.

It is funny how I feel I can be so open with you and felt the urge to put down some random thoughts. I like you reading and having access to me through my writing. It makes me feel like our minds are connected.

Andreas

 

Hi Gracie,

That e-mail is bit stunted (that is a word – I looked it up on internet) don’t you think? He hasn’t asked anything about you. Do you think he has big ego? Is he Italian decent? His name sounds Italian or Spanish.

Was he married? Does he have kids?

What are you doing for lunch today?

We could catch up on after party gossips ;-)

Eva

 

 

Hey Eva,

I am free tomorrow for lunch. I have training today and do not know what time it will end. I will be gyming as usual all the other lunch times but I can make some time for ‘after party gossips.’  Oh and talking of gyming I saw the ‘Ghost of diet hell past’ again today. She jogged past and said I have only put on a total of twenty pounds now. I don’t understand why she has to keep telling me about her weight gain. So weird!

 

In answer to your questions - apparently he has not been married and does not have children. He has been in some long relationships but has lived all over the world with his job. He said that he could never really settle. I think that is a bit of an excuse. Now that he’s based in London he wants to find someone but he says he does not like classical relationships. I wonder what that means. I had a bit of an alarm bell there too.

 

Since it is early days I have not gone into his full origin. But he has tanned skin and brown hair… So I think it must be Italian or something similar. Actually when you put our photos beside each other he is the opposite to me… It is odd actually – there I am - all athletic, lean and muscular. We have him – not looking terribly fit, not fat but a medium build. His dark hair and brown skin contrast to my pale freckled skin. In all his pictures he wears suits, so we can’t have a look at his body. I bet he doesn’t do any exercise. He hasn’t mentioned it at all. How funny.

How are things going with Oscar?

 

Are you free tomorrow for lunch then? I will sacrifice one gym for a catch up – do you know how privileged you are?  Do you mind leaving this building for lunch?

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

I’m definitely free for lunch tomorrow. If we leave this building, where shall we go?

Andreas sounds lovely, especially since he has no baggage. Is only distance, but if it works out then you can decide where to live.

 

Oscar is lovely, we didn’t argue once yesterday. It was very hard work not to bring up bloody village discussion. He always smiles, which makes huge difference. Sometimes I don’t know if he smiles to calm me down or because he is laughing at me. How can you tell?

 

Anyway, we spent the day sorting out the flat. We were so busy that we didn’t eat all day, he was very patient. He is a good man – it is the fifth date and there he is helping me arrange flat with furniture. There were a few moments where he seemed a bit annoyed but he just hit furniture with hammer. I think that is a very man response. I do like a man to be a man but some of my furniture is good furniture. I considered asking him to stop but a woman should never start conflict with angry man carrying a hammer in his hand!

 

In the evening we went to restaurant on sea front. He likes serious conversations, for which I told him off. It was about life in village, this is what he always wanted, he said. He wants to live in a village near sheep and fields. Imagine – me with all this glamour and what does he expect – gold Wellington boots?

Can you hear me? Bloody village!

Bloody, bloody, bloody village! Bloody sheep by bloody village. Bloody Wellington boot! BLOODY GOLD WELLINGTON BOOT!

Eva

 

Erm Eva, I find your response interesting because I have not met Andreas yet and this is the first date. I think plans for marriage and moving in might have to go on the shelf for now. We might have to have second and third dates before we consider a mini-break. Come on… a little too fast! Although maybe I should buy a flat on the second date and give him a jobs list on the third... Ha! What is it with how women begin planning marriage on the first date and working out how the man will fit in with their dream life? I do find it funny, I have stopped telling my other friends about my dates. I had that moment of humiliation when I was on the second date with the fireman. I was at a dinner party when one of my friends tapped her glass to gain everyone’s attention. ‘I have some wonderful news,’ she said. ‘One of my dearest friends is soon to be married. It finally happened – she met someone like her. And how I know that she has met her soul-mate is because they have been arranging fruit to look like faces and photographing them and sending them to each other. If that is not love then what is?’ That was when the penny dropped and she was talking about me. All I did was take a carrot that looked like it had legs, added an apple head and stuck some eyes on it. I sent the picture to the date who responded with an ornate melon carved in the shape of a face. We were only on our second date!

 

Now imagine my horror when she announced, ‘My best friend is going to get married!’

Everyone clapped and was so excited. They all wanted to know about the mystery man. Her parents congratulated me and told me that miracles can happen. They had always considered me the eternal single because I had no tolerance. After all that fuss I had to make my own announcement. After tapping the glass, I stood up. ‘Thank you everyone for your excitement but I have to put everyone straight. The ‘potential husband’ and I have had two dates – which does not constitute marriage. We did share images of arranged fruit but this does not usually equate to a long-term commitment unless we intend to open a juice bar. So thank you very much for providing me with the realisation that from now on I should keep my dating escapades to myself so I can avoid public humiliation. I also realised that I have become a source of entertainment for the marrieds amongst you - I overheard a number of you making bets on whether I would actually make it down the aisle. That kind of pressure is not fair.’

 

The result of that counter-announcement was ‘Stunned silences are us.’ I left the dinner party straight away because I felt ridiculed. My so-called friend left numerous answer phone messages filled with apology but I realised the unfortunate truth is that the majority of my friends used my dating life as entertainment. I realise now that it is. I have stopped getting excited about the men because something always happens. After that experience, amongst the messages of apology, the fire-fighter contacted me and said that he did not feel that we were suited. Pictures of arranged fruit were never something that he had considered sharing with a girlfriend.

Gracie

 

Oh Gracie,

What a shame about fruit arranging fire-fighter – he sounded fun, but it make you realise what people say about you and what people really think. People only excited about your adventurous dating life because their life is so dull that your dating escapes entertain. The thing is you are good when you are single. Most people find it hard to survive alone - not you, so you do not need someone. That puts you in power position. Also everyone want you to be happy with man but you are happy whether you are in or out of relationship. That is strange for many. Anything else exciting going on over there?

Eva

 

Well Eva,

Abdi is sitting sniggering about the fact that you made Oscar go to a furniture shop on the second date and do removals so early on. He said no wonder Oscar is hitting everything with a hammer. He asked whether you have written him any more jobs lists. This apparently freaks men out. Gary says that he would have run a mile if that was him.  He reckons that you must have some Russian tricks up your proverbial sleeve to bribe him into doing all that for you. Abdi has offered himself up for experiment! He says as long as there is massage involved he will definitely help you with the jobs list! Oh he said that the massage will have to be naked – both you and him. He has now adopted the dazed look and cannot concentrate on work again. I find it amazing – as soon as you mention the word breast or naked - all these men stop concentrating. It is like some kind of override switch, which freezes them into a daze. Their faces go all wistful and they stare into the distance. I have waved rulers in front of Abdi while he is in this state and nothing happens, he just keeps staring. It is so weird. Imagine saying the word pectoral or bicep to a woman – bam! She stops everything and stares into space? That would never happen!

 

In terms of lunch, shall we walk over to lake area on the edge of the grounds – just to get air. I just read some of your emails again - you and that bloody village! Eva, I don’t want to concern you but you actually hate villages. You have said that before… so how have you managed to attract a man from a BLOODY village?

 

I have been thinking about attraction – who we attract and who we are attracted to. Strangely I think if I like Andreas things could work… We are both willing to meet half way – he actually suggested that. I am happy to go to London every couple of weeks and he likes the idea of coming down to the beach. So that is great. I do not need to be with someone all the time… so there is possibility! Imagine me actually uttering those words. Weird! I will date other people though in the meantime then I will not focus on him. I know that when I focus on one thing I can become a little obsessive. Obsessiveness is an unfortunate truth about my nature and I have to rein it in. Obsessiveness enables me to achieve goals, remain focused but is also a hindrance because other people ‘don’t get it.’ So we will see what happens.

Gracie

 

Hello Gracie, I am so excited that I clapped again. The moaners’ biscuit snapped and fell in her tea. She is overly wiping the desk with special desk wipes and spray. She is looking at me with how you say contentment? Contempt? Sound same don’t you think? English is strange language. Her face looks squashed like she is sucking hard through straw with lump inside... Shame she so sad, nothing makes her happy. She hates that I am happy so that makes me happier... So tell me even more. Oh and women on my team are looking over to see what fuss is about. What do I say? I will say critical friend is actually being nice to man... Ha!

Eva

 

Hello Eva, the sour woman next to you must really find it hard when you are so lively... Fancy making her biscuit fall in her tea! Ohhhh more to moan about... Talking about moaning I was laughing about your bloody village rant again - although no doubt you will hear me muttering bloody LONDON. He lives twenty minutes from Central London, in a nice green area. I like some of London but find the place too busy and draining… When I work up there I usually last until four o’clock and then need to sleep. Funny how some people are energised by places and I am drained by London. Yet when I am in New York – that is a completely different ball game! Let’s see what happens. I feel that Andreas and I need to meet first before I construct the fantasy of houses in the country, puppies, babies and nannies. What I do find interesting is that when you met Oscar you had a bit of a feeling about him – ‘like it was meant to be.’

 

By the way – you are the only person who knows about Andreas… I have to share this with someone, but someone who is not going to announce a wedding after the second date! I love secrets!

 

I have put my response to his question: Why are you on Rich bloke then?

 

Personally I joined because my friend met someone decent who was highly intelligent. I sometimes find that I have to hide my intelligence so as not to intimidate others, especially men. My assumption about the site was that the people dating on there had succeeded so therefore were more likely to be of high intelligence. I had not expected some of the approaches or some of the stories that I have heard. My most fascinating insight is that women actually ask for money and that some of the men view those women as a commodity to be bought. What a strange world we live in. So those would be a series of random thoughts in response to your random thoughts. We are in a dialogue of randomness – lovely. What are you up to today? Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

I loved your random thoughts. I adore the intellectual expression of your mind. Unfortunately that is something that I find hard to relate to in a woman. You are right - most men do find the level of intelligence you mentioned threatening. That is mostly because of insecurity. Of course, that is because we are still living in a male dominated society ruled by old-fashioned values. Personally, I like challenge. To find such qualities in a woman is highly stimulating, attractive and a huge fascination.

 

I find women demanding money and financial arrangements a travesty! It is a sad reflection of the uglier aspect of our modern world. The greed and lack of appreciation of human values saddens me. I dislike that immensely.

 

At the moment I am doing some house chores and multi-tasking with you. I will be going to have lunch at my friend’s home. After that visit, I will take a walk on the South Bank followed by swim/spa this evening. I just wanted to demonstrate that a man can do chores and multi-task. Apparently it is a rare phenomenonJ

How about you?

Andreas

 

Hello Andreas, I am juggling fire whilst going down a steep hill on roller-skates in traffic. Only joking! I am finishing some photographic commissions. Photography is now something that I do for fun because I used to work as a professional photographer. If you are interested, you can look up my name on Google. You will find out who I am and be able to see some of my photographic sites. I thought the imagery might appeal to your creative side.:)

Gracie



Hello Gracie,

I will Google you as you said and will look at your pictures / artworks. The more I read your emails the more interested I now feel. I sense your mind and get an in-depth sense who you really are. I sense that so far you are very attractive. Your humour tickles me.

Andreas

 

So...  Eva,

What do you think of the above? How does reading my writing make me attractive? I have to be honest, I do like the way he writes – it is so very open. Oh and this is the comparative email from another wealthy wally Janus (funny how Janus rhymes with anus!)

 

Dear Gracie,

I am terribly impressed by your stature, your well-bred features and of course your intelligence. In horse terms, you would be considered terribly good breeding stock. I hope that does not offend you because that is a true equine compliment!

 

With the above in mind, you may well be curious about me. I am a rather humble chap who happens to have a vast estate up here in Cheshire. I generally keep myself to myself. I spend a great deal of time with my horses and at the weekend enjoy a good hunt. Incidentally, do you ride because that would be most convenient? Anyway please take a peek at my profile and we shall arrange from there.

Best wishes

Janus.

 

Admittedly it is a nice enough email but being likened to breeding stock what does that say? What is he thinking? Incidentally Janus the wealthy anus... Ha!

Gracie

 

 

Gosh Gracie, the emails from Andreas are all intense and very deep. I never talk to men about such things. He seems impressed by your brain. Maybe your brain will be what makes you attractive. Now I do not wish to be rude but I don’t remember him 100% vigour (if this a word – maybe new word) from the photograph. That is because I do not remember such things. How wonderful for this to work out for you!

 

The horsey man is very funny, he thinks of you as horse. He probably wants to ride you. You should meet him – you might like living on an estate with horse and spending your time writing!

 

Now I don’t have to do very much so far today - a bit lazy, is lovely. Janet is so keen to do all work, so I will let her.  She just wants to impress manager and get extra points. She is a brown eye! While she work hard we can just gossip and talk about men.

Eva

 

Hi Eva,

I think the expression you were looking for there is brown nose. The brown nose is someone who puts their nose up someone’s bottom to get liked or advance their career. A brown eye is the bottom hole. You may have meant this – but I thought I would let you know. 100% vigor references a level of effort. I think you might want to say I don’t completely remember him... Apologies if this email sounds like an English lesson. When you said she was a brown eye I spat my coffee all over my two screens and began to choke. Greg and Abdi had to come over and see what all the fuss was about! They then wet themselves laughing about the brown eye too! They then sang ‘Brown eye in the ring shall la la la la...’ That song from the seventies. Of course they did their best seventies style dancing and luckily the manager was out for a meeting otherwise I am sure there would be a dancing trio. Those two are always looking for opportunities to stop work and be naughty! Now imagine having a manager who likes to join in with the mischief. I am so lucky to work with such great and naughty people! Anyway, I hope you don’t mind that I showed them. They have no clue about the dating of wealthy men. Only you know the truth.

Gracie

 

Hello Gracie,

I know both Greg and Adbi, so it is okay. Your manager is very attractive man and he knows it too. So when I imagine him dancing with them and laughing is very nice image. You are so lucky to work with them. They are so much fun. My team are bitchy and boring. Then there you are with the two naughty boys and a very ‘hot’ manager to play with all day... The others on your team are nice too but I know how you adore those ‘idiots’ as you call them. ‘Or the naughty boys’.

 

So...secrets are fun. I loved my secret about buying the flat and not letting the other Russian girls know. Lena said it was the best surprise ever. Adriana was just jealous. She sat with her arms folded and kept tutting.  Lena said she was not very nice or kind.

 

You know last night; Oscar asked me how old I was? It was a very difficult moment beause I could not lie. So there we are, I’m older than him. He expected me to say I was thirty-eight, just a year older than my profile but I added the six years and shocked the man… Women have three ages anyway – the one they are born with, the one they tell people and the one they think they look like. I look mid-thirties, so must be one of my ages. So it was not a giant lie!

 

As we were being honest, I ask him how much money he has - if he has any wealth at all! He shook his head. He is massively in debt with credit card and rent village – how you say- shed. Everything he has is on loan. So I might be older but he pretended to have money. He does not have any money at all! I have more money than him – imagine! Now which lie is bigger? We must be equal! It is sad day when relationship starts as lie. I asked him again why he was on rich site – his reply – the women are better looking on rich site. See how men think? It is all about the woman looking good and having glamorous woman on arm to show off to friends! I still like him though. I like him singing.

 

About Christmas with his parents – they are not too happy. Oscar thinks his mum will worry, so I would prefer to spend it with Lena and you in the evening. It will be nice to chat and eat lovely food because I don’t have TV yet.

 

The New Year should be fun and you can make new list. This will be actual list about man. My new year will have Oscar performing in a very old pub in his parent’s village. I would love to see him perform, he will sing songs for me and I will be sitting in auditorium with his parents. He will sing to me and the women with their pet pigs will all look over and see glamorous Russian woman in golden wellington boots in bloody village! I will adore my poor boyfriend as he wears the new clothes I bought for him. Even if he is poor, he will look very good because of the taste of a good Russian woman! He is very lucky man!

Eva

 

Hi Eva,

That all sounds very well planned, you are usually far more spontaneous! I don’t want to be rude but I had a sense that Oscar did not have any money. The way he presented himself on that night out did not suggest any kind of wealth. That combined with his posture and lack of self-belief gave it away. I also noticed that he did not offer to buy one round of drinks and in the Italian restaurant I noticed that you paid for his dinner. Didn’t you mention that he said he had forgotten his credit cards or something? It is so interesting how a man goes on a wealthy man website to meet a good-looking woman and the woman goes to meet a wealthy man, yet there is usually something untoward behind the scenes! The men use their wealth to attract a beautiful woman who exchanges their beauty to be the commodity of the wealthy. When I notice things like that I realise that maybe I shouldn’t be there – although how else am I supposed to meet a man who has high intelligence and ambition?

 

Well at least for New Year you get to see Oscar perform. I am sure you will love that, especially if he sings in your direction. It is quite early to meet the parents but this high-speed relationship gains momentum with each date. Erm, I notice that you will be in a village for New Year. How are you feeling about the ‘bloody’ village? Are you getting more used to the idea? Will I hear that you have taken to driving tractors, chasing chickens and delivering eggs to neighbours?

Gracie

 

Hello Gracie.

Village is village. What more can I say? I will not be seen driving a tractor or a chicken! At least I will be the only glamorous woman there. Village becomes village with glamorous Russian woman! It will give the villagers something to talk about – better than chickens! On New Year, I will be looking beautiful in excellent clothing taste while other women wear sacks, wellington boots and farming clothes. Who is winner?

Eva

 

Hello Eva,

I am going to have to stop reading your emails whilst eating or drinking. The ‘driving a chicken’ comment evolved into the image of you sitting on the back of an ostrich wearing gold wellington boots. I have been shaking with laughter to myself about that one. I had to go to the bathroom and lock myself in the executive cubicle (disabled) to laugh that one out!

 

Now regarding the clothing attire, it depends what the criteria for winning is. If there is lots of mud – the women wearing sacks and wellingtons may well be ahead. If there is nice weather then you will definitely be the winner. I have an image of you in sparkling silver high heels and skin-tight satin trousers knee-deep in mud. You standing there screaming ‘bloody village and get those bloody chickens away from me!’

 

So do you want to see all Andreas’s emails then? I am having alarm bells about him again. An hour ago I liked him but now something isn’t sitting right for me. He is so intense, so deep and I remember how he started making demands before. I actually ended up blocking his number. I don’t know whether I am just having a general panic – or whether I am self-sabotaging... Gut reaction is not making sense. I am experiencing excitement with an undercarriage tingle mixed with apprehension. I really don’t know. I already feel confused and I haven’t met him.

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

I do not know any Russian woman who has ridden ostrich. I could be first in history. I like the idea of riding ostrich more than chicken. I feel ostrich ride could be something fun. Imagine me, with all my glamour, racing on large bird down village high street. Imagine the gossip in local bakery! La, la, la! This makes me smile and pass the day. I love how your mind comes up with such random thoughts.

 

Oh and Andreas might have changed during the last months. Give him a chance – at least you go in with knowledge. You always get scared and find reasons to run. I think this is what you are doing right now! Gracie stop thinking about it too much – you always think your way out of everything! Gracie always give the man a chance! You never know what will come from it and then we have something to talk about at work. Anyway what can go wrong? Eva

 

Hi Eva – what can go wrong? He could be a complete weirdo! He might collect those dolls that look like real life women. Imagine hundreds of them dotted around his home. What can go wrong? He could have a bondage den and speak with a German accent! Would you consider that a little far-fetched? There is worse: he might have a collection of sock puppets and be into ventriloquism. Imagine if taxidermy was his hobby while he stuffs badgers he smokes a pipe... Okay this is a little extreme. Yes you are right; I do have a tendency to over-think. It is how I am set up. My levels of trust and faith in men over the last few years have diminished, so naturally I am reluctant.

 

Have a look – tell me what you think – tell me whether you would be having doubts!

 

Hi Gracie,

I will email you a few random pics of me too in a moment.

Andreas.

 

Here is a very recent formal photo of me.

Andreas

 

Enclosed are a few photos of me on a normal day. Unfortunately I don’t have any without glasses!

Andreas.

 

Here I am again! This is me sitting on a cliff.

Andreas

 

Here are two of me by a farm.

Andreas.

 

Here is one of me milking a cow.

Andreas.

 

Oh and one more – the goat is eating my hair! That was a funny moment.

Andreas.

 

Eva - since when does a woman need a picture of a man milking a cow? Yes he does look nice in the picture and he is smiling but come on – milking a bloody cow? Maybe it references nipples or something... Anyway Eva – here are the emails that followed:

 

Hello again Gracie,

I just looked at your art gallery. Your photos are amazing. I loved the themes, the colour combinations and the amazing sense of reality that they offered. The pictures of the icebergs are inspirational. You have lived a life that has made you a phenomenal lady! You are clearly very accomplished and talented. It is a real pleasure to see the sense of talent in you. It is so refreshing to see such inspiration when so many women are simply consumed in shopping and bloody shoes! I am so happy to meet you! Oh I attached a picture of me milking a goat and a cow simultaneously. Again I am multi-tasking! Not many men can do that!

Andreas.

 

Morning Andreas…

The pictures reveal that you are really enjoying yourself and live quite a diverse life. The formal wear shots are my favourite and made you look charming. Obviously, you have a real affinity with animals. The cow even appeared to have a smile on her face as you milked her. Multi-milk tasking between a goat and cow is something I have never witnessed a man do before. You certainly have some rare talents too. Thank you for the compliments regarding my photographic skills - I am very blessed but again that is why I stated the ‘unique’ aspect on the profile. Obviously this is nothing compared to your milking talents. I could never do that to a cow or a goat, let alone simultaneously! Well done!

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie, you really can be bitch! Not nice quality Gracie. I know this is funny to you. I can see you sitting laughing as you compliment man on his milking talent. Remember he is just trying to impress you and keep your attention. He knows there is competition out there. Since when has cow smiled? I think you were being your usual naughty self! Be nice – I know you were trying to find reason to make compliment, but you and I know you what you are like - you are so bad! How you say? – You are mocking him! Woman should be nice, kind, loving, nurturing not mocking!

Eva

 

Hi Eva,

I will try to be kind and nice but it is difficult when you receive five more emails in two hours… I was trying to be nice in that last e-mail. Bear in mind I have never complimented any man on his capacity for farmyard tasks!

 

Oh, I think that this chap is growing increasingly demanding regarding attention. I might even go so far as to say he is needy. He just keeps emailing and emailing. He then said he ‘craved’ my emails because he just wanted to understand how my mind worked. Of course it freaked me out. I then realised that I am acting like a man again... Plus I just wanted to run away! The thing is the issue lies with me and not him. I do wonder whether I am actually ready for this dating lark again... It has been a year and a half since ‘him’. I should be ready by now for someone new, surely. I will only find out by diving into the proverbial dating ocean. Oh and I have decided to distract myself with other men – on the site. It is better for me to date more than one at a time. That is what a lot of the men do – so surely I should play it like them. I do not want to get my hopes up or put my village chicken eggs in one handmade basket!

 

Also I have not explained to you properly what happened with my previous breakup. It is generally something I keep to myself. All I can say is that I am not very good at trusting anymore, although Andreas seems open and very different to the ex. After talking on the phone, I do feel a little more relaxed. The way he talks is fascinating. He seems sorted and understands all manner of emotional intelligence stuff… so he could be worth spending an evening with. I just dread that moment when you actually have to meet the person in reality…  You build up all these lovely ideas and fantasies... finally you meet them and they look five stone heavier and have fallen on hard times!

 

Oh goodness! All the defences have risen to the surface again. Why am I struggling? I think it must be to do with how we put all our dreams and hopes on another person. Why do we believe that other people should make us happy? It is not their responsibility – we need to learn to make ourselves happy first. To be quite frank expecting happiness to come from another person is not fair on them. High hopes with absolutely no expectation!

Gracie

 

Hey Gracie, It is natural to have big nerves. These internet things build big fantasy. Then you meet them and no – it is errrgh! Remember the date I went on with the charming man – the one that look very good in his lovely suit. The very professional – intelligent man. We go and dance. He dance and dance – he was having great dancing time and filled his clothes with sweat (not sweet). He then gives me a look – ‘the look’ and he thinks I desire romance with sweaty stink man. I thought – oh I am so lucky to have sweat man in my bed. I made excuses so I could keep bed nice and clean.

 

Women are so clean and nice and man hairy with sweat. I wish I could like woman... But no possible – love how you say - the sausage. Anyway, go on this date and stop over-thinking. At least you have met then you will know and move on. Plus there is nice meal bonus. It is nice to have meal paid for while you learn about other people’s lives. Always so interesting! Think about all these characters and stories for books. I think the problem is that you might like him. I think you find it easier to find escape route or excuse to avoid relationship. You always find problem or fault to make you discard them. You said you had a chat last night then? What did he say?

Eva

 

Hi Eva, You are probably right. Yes I admit that I find fault or an excuse to run away. If I find fault in them first, they don’t have a chance to find faults in me. I don’t think I like to admit that, but it is an unfortunate truth. It is strange how we look for perfection in others and our ‘perfect’ partners. The truth is our vulnerability and foibles make us beautifully unique.

 

Last night he talked about his job. It seems he constantly travels for business. He then talked about philosophy, passion and the fact he never fully identified with women. They are never as intelligent as he is and they definitely ‘don’t get him.’ The reality is the sexes generally do not ‘get’ each other. We are wired differently, that is just how it is. The sooner we accept that the better. All those years working on ships and being with men twenty four hours per day – I realised how they worked. It is hard not to have an insight into the male mind when the ratio of men to woman on that ship was four hundred and fifty men to forty women. When we came into port – buses transported the sailors to the brothels - the ‘seamen’s’ clubs. Even those that were married went! It disgusted me at the time but it made it very clear the reality of the sex drive. If men were at sea too long without sex they went mad! I think their sperm swam around their bodies and bore into their brains! They had seaman brains (ha!).They had to release their ‘tensions’ somewhere.

 

After the conversation with Andreas last night, I concluded that he is unaware that he contacted me nine months ago. The fact that he said that he was new to internet dating was a complete lie. Why bother lying? He also said his last relationship was with a female doctor nine months ago, apparently he met her at a dinner party. The funny thing is that the timing coincides with when he was last talking to me on the rich bloke site. I am in such a conflict with this and completely confused by him. His behaviour does not fall into my way of doing things – my mental map and his seem to be at odds. Strangely, I remain curious because he maintains this air of dignity and ‘acts’ like a gentleman yet he remains unaware of my memory. I have even dug out some of my old e-mails from him. It is definitely him. He was relentless. I want to go to resolve this – but if he does not remember specifics then the question is how many people is he dating simultaneously? What has the world come to?

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

Wow! Your memory... What are you going to do? I think you just have to meet him to clear this up. Then how you say? – it is resolved. Sometimes these things happen for reason. Reason might be that you will have love. Reason might be something different. Best way to play it is pretend in your mind he have amnesia. Remember most people do not remember details the same way as you. I don’t remember last week let alone nine months ago! It is just how your mind works – not his. You don’t have to say anything about it. Just go and get a nice meal paid for. Nice meals are the best reason for dating men with money. At least they don’t take you to fast food joint – imagine. One girl in this department was taken to fast food chicken joint on her first date. Her date said that he did it for surprise. She was very surprised! Bloody chickens – even fast food bloody chicken! Remember you always have your get-away vehicle if it does not work.

Eva

 

Oh Eva, why do I always manage to attract complete dicks? At least I have upped my game to the wealthier dick! I suppose the fact that man has a dick is something to do with it. It seems that the weighted difference between the upper brain and the lesser brain is the main cause of all the issues. Gravity and the dick brain...  I will reply to the mail with the following:

 

Hi Andreas, I am about to go for a long stroll by the beach with a friend and then to a cafe. Later this evening I will enjoy sitting, writing and editing. We do have an enormous amount in common. I think it will be worth meeting up whether it is romantic or not. That way there is no pressure. I really enjoy the way you articulate and feel that we could find solutions to the work issues – should it work out. Incidentally do you have a car? If so, have you been to Winchester before? I like the idea of meeting up there because that is about half way. Talk soon Gracie.

 

What do you think Eva? I often wonder whether men have any clue about the discussions women have about them. I find it amusing how we spend our working day discussing and analysing their behaviour. At least it passes the mundane working hours. I haven’t fully involved the naughty boys with this Andreas yet either. I can imagine their faces lighting up and all of their opinions, pure carnage. They will train me like Rocky before going into a dating ‘fight’. I think that I want to keep this one quiet. They are still entertained by the date where I climbed out the toilet window and came face to face with the chap who had popped out for a smoke. That was a hideous moment! I still can’t believe I said I was training to be a burglar. He didn’t buy it – so I pointed at the cigarette and said ‘but you said you didn’t smoke! Liar!’  Oh all these dates over the years and look where I am – single! Boooo! Maybe singledom is the best thing. The women here call it singledooooooooom! I call it freedom. Oooops!

Gracie

 

Ox Gracie,

I often wonder if you make such things happen for fun and have story to tell. Do you pick your dates based on idiotness or potential for how you say - ridiculousness? Or ridicule? Is dating your entertainment because you have no television?

Eva

 

Hey Eva, I love the usage of the word Ox – are you trying to say that I am as strong as an ox? Or did you mean the word oh? I guess dating is entertainment and generally results in a story to tell. What would we discuss here if there were not dates?

 

In truth, I would like to meet someone nice – really nice. I sense that my underlying belief is that men think with their dicks – I think that is where the expression dickhead came from. I watch their eyes when they see me, they visually undress me and are having mental sex with me. It horrifies me to be honest because I am an idealist and a romantic – so the reality is always a disappointment. In my fantasies men are smooth with well-groomed chest hair.  The reality is completely different. Why did God invent ear and nostril hair? I doubt that in terms of survival that an ear hole or a nostril needs to be kept that warm!

 

Anyway here is his response: You are so lucky to have the pleasure of being able to walk by the beach – something so very relaxing and magical about it. I find the sea to be a source of energy and inspiration in so many different ways. After all these in depth emails – I would really like to meet you too. I like the fact that you too believe in the meeting for the sake of meeting. The fact that we are exploring each other through ‘that’ site doesn’t have to manifest itself in only romance or purely for romance. I truly don’t have a tunnel vision in life, I so like that in you too. You are definitely very different, refreshingly different in fact and I do love your expression of mind so far. More than you can probably imagine... For a woman to have a beautiful mind, face and body is something very unique! Oh how much I value it and excuse-me - but desire it too!

 

This afternoon I will be out and about London. I choose to live amongst the chaos, but there is so much here to stimulate all the senses. I will probably drop by into the Tate Modern this afternoon in case there is a new exhibition. Admittedly, I was there three weeks ago so I doubt that much has changed. Of course it will be far too crowded this afternoon and perhaps that is the unpleasant aspect of it. Even with the crowds it is always still worth a flying visit whilst I am in the vicinity.

 

Car – yes I do have a car and yes I would like to meet you where you suggested. I love Winchester as a town and used to visit it often when I was living in Salisbury, all those years ago as a student. The very thought of it brings back great memories. That, combined with the thought of meeting you, is even more appealing. I feel a sense of aliveness that I have not felt in a long time. It is anticipation combined with the excitement of potential stimulation from an intelligent woman! Andreas.

 

It is a lovely email isn’t it Eva? Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

He does sound nice – I am sure you will like him when you meet him. He is very interesting too. Give him a chance and forget doubts. Everyone deserves a chance! As for me - a weekend in the bloody village! That place is in back of hole beyond. He is complaining how far it is to drive here. It takes me an hour on the bus – do I complain no? Imagine he had to get on bus to see me. Does he have clue how lucky he is to drive? I have no chance to drive yet because have to re-take test. Now imagine this too – my lovely new flat – over-looking the sea. He said I should sell my new flat and move to village. What is he thinking? Imagine me with my manicured nails and high heels milking a pig!

Eva

 

Eva,

In general, I would advise you to avoid milking pigs. It is just something I learned when I was young – it seems they don’t like it – especially by Russian women with particularly well-manicured nails. You might prefer to start with a goat and work up to a smiling cow. The cow is the one with the hanging udders – do not try and milk any other kind – especially if there is only one appendage hanging down. Incidentally, what is it with this milking mania? We have Andreas sending cow milking in pictorial form and now you pig milking – there has to be something in the air! Farming hobbies?

 

Oh and talking of random, last night I was in the supermarket and saw the ‘Ghost of diet hell past’. She was in the chocolate aisle and appeared to be arguing with a bar of chocolate. ‘I don’t need you – I can’t eat you, you make me fat!’ she then put the chocolate down, turned around picked it up, then jumped up and down. I hid at the end of the aisle watching her going through this conflict. It was terrifying to watch and something I have experienced when I did the original diet. Eventually she picked up four bars and stormed to the checkout.  She really seems to be in a state of struggle. After doing that extreme diet I only eat dark chocolate now because then I just have a taste and that is it. My willpower is rubbish too but to witness someone argue with chocolate in public... Mad.

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

Thank you for farmyard advice – I grew up in a city so have not milked any animal and I do not intend to… I hate the idea of village and mud. I love my city and my nice restaurants. Who do you dress up for in a village? Go to local shop – buy what you say ‘chutney’ – why dress for that? It is my worst nightmare. What does he think? To blend in - will hang around there with handkerchief on head and grow lady moustache? I saw one woman with big hairs on legs. I almost cried. Made me feel sick looked like giant angry spiders all over! They do not have waxing in village and only razor for hair removal were designed for men. And ‘Ghost of diet hell past has gone mad’ – why scream at chocolate – is not its fault. It does not say eat me when walk past. Poor woman!

Eva

 

Hey Eva,

You can do anything you like – the locals may well be fascinated by a beautiful blonde Russian bombshell sporting a moustache and chipped nails whilst demonstrating how to milk a pig in the High Street. Many strange things happen in the countryside. We all have talents and that, my dear, would be phenomenal! It could be your get rich quick from Russia scheme!

Gracie

 

Hi Gracie,

Have you had any more e-mails? I am bored, have run out of work to do. Please forward them. And I want to be rich now because want more time in spa. I like luxury and pampering...

Eva

 

Hi Eva,

You are so lucky to have run out of work. I am drowning in piles of the stuff at the moment. There are spreadsheets, formulae and analysis coming from all directions. In addition, I have a missing eight hundred million to investigate. I will explain that later. So here we go – the recent batch - I do feel like a naughty girl sharing these – but hey ho – it isn’t like anyone will actually know.

So here are the barrage I just received. I have also added in my responses.

 

Hi Gracie,

Just sent you a message – I forgot my personal phone so only have my works mobile with me. Can you send me your number so we can chat later. I am really sorry to bother you with that because I should have written it down.

 

I just want to mention that I like your spontaneous reactions – another similarity we share.

And thank you for your comments on my photos. I felt and sensed your warmth through them, it meant a lot to me. I am particularly happy that you liked the cow-milking picture. I feel I look most at ease there. I have to admit that I did have a look at your profile again and felt captivated by the sense of expression in your eyes. You have such clarity in those beautiful blue pools. They seem to match your words, insightfulness and expressive mind. That is how I feel just by gazing at your features and feel I know so much of you so far. Exploring the truth of who you really are and beyond would be truly lovely. What lucky people we are to have crossed paths in life. We should be truly thankful to have the opportunity to meet.

Andreas

 

Hello again Gracie,

By the way, I do like how you think out of the box and think about social issues – most people tend to ignore them. Imagine a world where people treated each other with respect and kindness. Yes, I am an idealist! Andreas.

 

Hi Andreas, I agree. If everyone made a little effort to treat others with respect and kindness the world would change. The way I see it is that denial only increases the issues.

Most people remain unaware of how life will magically create situations for you to face what you deny.  We all repeat our patterns until we find ways to resolve them within ourselves. I believe that everyone is a mirror –those mirrors reveal the parts of ourselves that we deny. I will leave that one with you. Gracie

 

Hello Gracie,

You see the world from an entirely new perspective. It is phenomenally thought provoking indeed. As much as I am surprised by this, I have to admit that I am in total agreement!

Personally, I have never avoided issues, albeit controversial!

Andreas

 

What do you think Eva? You know what? I am a complete git! I should not be sharing these emails with anyone. It is supposed to be private and I would be devastated if he was showing people what I was writing to him. Imagine if something did happen... and ten years down the line I have to tell him that I had been discussing all our initial emails with my friend at work to pass the day. Actually it isn’t that terrible. I am sure other women do this too. It is just I feel like he is really opening up and I do feel that he might be decent, even if I have discovered numerous niggling things that just don’t add up. That is the problem with being mathematical – all the figures have to add up!

Gracie

 

Hello Gracie,

I do not think showing me email is issue. Do you think that most email in these corporations are business based? Do you really think that most other women in offices are not discussing and analysing men all day? That is what we are designed to do – sit, analyse and get it wrong!

 

Now sit quietly in office and listen to typing. Fast typing is people doing gossips. Slow typing is people writing boring business email so they do not get into trouble. Gossiping and analysing is what keeps us sane in boring environment. If we did not keep fingers typing we would be eating chocolate like dreary misery next to me. We then eat too much chocolate and become big fat things. What type of man will we attract with muffin-top landing on ankle? Will be like big Japanese Sumo wrestler – not nice image. I feel ill at the thought of it!

 

I want to say also that you communicate with these men on different level. I never talk like this to anyone. You are so deep but he seems to like it. Many men are not so excited by such chatter. They just want to sit and admire well package breast and nice lips. If I was man I would be in fright of the depth you write. If a woman come across this clever then she have power! Let man believe he have power! This is my learning. He must think he is in control and think that his penis is best thing in world. He must believe it is far bigger than any other man. He also must believe he is best lover ever and that no other man can satisfy you like he can. Be open, be intelligent but there is line... Careful of line... Line is what will make things change... Careful! Be sexy not friendly. Seduce not demand! Nice not bitch!

Eva


LINKS to LOVE HUNT in Audio

 

 

 
 

 

Come on admit it - as much as we deny it - we ladies like a good love hunt.
We have tick lists, ideals, and we hunt in high-heeled packs. Of course, we're all hunting for that elusive right man who ticks every box and even has tidy nostril hair. Okay maybe not you, but you know other ladies who love the hunt.
Well, it's time for Eva and Gracie to love hunt, and their "targets" are rich men - the golden sperm. Such exciting escapades would provide the pair with entertaining discussions during their dull office hours - or so they thought. What they did not anticipate was the discovery of the "booby man"; humorous but very hard truths about wealth, themselves, power; and the RichIdiot.com phenomenon.
The question remains: can love really be hunted?

CHAPTER 3 ON SOUND CLOUD https://soundcloud.com/ruby-allure/03-lovehunt1-ch03

CHAPTER 4 ON SOUND CLOUD https://soundcloud.com/ruby-allure/04-lovehunt1-ch04



PAPERBACK LINKLink: http://amzn.com/151727088X







 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment