Today's Office Animal is: THE OFFICE SEXUAL FANTASY!!!
LISTEN TO THE OFFICE ZOO FREAKY BUT GEEKY HERE:
DO YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE IN YOUR OFFICE????
The Office Sexual Fantasy
This is a different branch of the human visual-stimulation beast. Both men and women have these creatures pulsating in their periphery. You don’t particularly want to know them but you do like to look at them. They are different to the Office Hotty because they are not obvious. Instead, they have something a little mysterious and sexy about them. They subtly pass by the desk and send you off into a radiant vision of rampant rumpy pumpy on a remote beach in the Caribbean.
We all know we are all over-worked, underpaid and often the only way to deal with that is to escape into the beauty of imagining /fantastical sausage escapades. I will be honest; one time one of my female colleagues alerted me to her office sexual fantasy, which was a huge mistake. Later that day I collided with him on the stairs and blurted out ‘you are my work mate’s sexual fantasy.’ Well that was it, the fun of a new sausage alignment project by utilising excellent email coordination. All of these efforts resulted in with her Office Sexual Fantasy aligned with certain arrangements of fruit when she looked up. There were times when I made him stand in such a position that she could see him while he held a banana provocatively and appeared to be absorbed by an innocent conversation. It was so much fun!!!
Admittedly, my friend’s sexual fantasy and I had a great time coming up with every kind of odd alignment, juxta-positioning and poses. What was amazing is that she remained oblivious until one day she said to me, ‘something happened. I just don’t fantasise about him anymore.’ I wondered whether too much of a good thing (and too much erect fruit and baguettes) had affected her. Finally, I asked what had changed. Unfortunately, her Office Sexual Fantasy had advised her of a story involving him having a bad stomach and a couple of days spent on a lavatory. That one story smashed the shit out of the illusion. There was a lesson in that: Do not talk to your Office Sexual Fantasy or the Office Sexual Fantasy because they are never the same in reality and they will never live up to your ideals /expectations.
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