Hello again Gracie,
Sorry it is end of day
but payments must be made – boo! That is why I am here. Some of the work girls
are circling me to see why I smile at computer. Not a good thing. They know
that I type fast on daily basis. I think my emails are being watched... Do I
sound paranoid?
In truth, I do not
think pole vault could be sneaked past security. Unless you pole vault security
while back is turned. Imagine having huge pole under your arm as you walk
through the security turnstile. How do you explain? You could say it is after
work hobby or activity.
Now I have big
question: I have to know what is happening with Andreas. Have you heard from
him or anymore men from the how you now call it
‘wealthy wally website?’ You said you had something to tell me when I
saw you by drinks machine. Thought it sounded good. Sorry I could not talk for
long, my manager has been timing me at drinks machine and toilet visit. She has
told me to stop doing extra make-up while in there. Personally I think it is
jealousy. They don’t want me to look good to stop men admiring me. Tomorrow I
will wear ultimate uplift bra to make a point. Won’t wear make-up but will
decorate room with other assets! Then see what they say! Post-Christmas
decoration.
Have to catch the bus
now... Close to five!
Night!
Eva.
CHAPTER 2
Morning Eva,
I have the theme music to jaws playing through my mind as
your cleavage penetrates the bleary-eyed vision of all the workers arriving
into the early morning office. All the unsuspecting men will be bam-boobled by
the Russian rack as it aggressively invades the vision of the whole office
floor. Good on you! You are using your breasts to take your power back. You do
make me laugh. I would never have the ‘boosooka balls’ to do that.
In the meantime, my news is that I managed to destroy half
of the supermarket by mistake today. The ghost of diet hell past was standing
in a neighbouring isle and I jumped backwards with one of those small
children’s chocolates concealed in my hand. In doing so my gym bag hit the
first olive oil bottle and toppled the rest of the shelf like dominoes. In the
end some mayonnaise erupted all over the floor right beside her. Of course she
thought it was her and had no clue of my isle lurking and desperate dashing to
avoid yet another dull diet conversation. I really do not need to hear another
insight into which part of her body is carrying an extra pound! In a strange
way I was quite astounded by how well orchestrated my unintentional distraction
technique was.
Anyway, while mayonnaise erupted around her, I darted to the
self-service till for my twenty pence chocolate. While I paid I could hear
endless apology coming from her. When I glanced over my shoulder it turns out
that after the mayonnaise crashed beside her, she then jumped backwards and
annihilated the special offer chocolate display at the end of the isle. There
she was sitting on a pile of chocolate. A few of the chocolate balls burst from
their packet and melted onto her works’ trousers. Oh God I felt guilty but could
not go over and explain so made a getaway. I do feel a bit of a bitch and a coward,
but I could hardly go over and say I was hiding with a kiddy bar of chocolate
and accidentally toppled the top shelf. Oh and I am sorry but it looks like you
shit yourself.
I really do not understand how these situations find me. I
could not plan such a destructive force. It is strange how cause and effect
works. So the ghost of diet hell past not only thinks she destroyed the area
but it looked like she shat herself. I hope that does not make her comfort
eat... Bloody hell, the more I practice being classy and elegant the more I
seem to innocently annihilate the whole area! The other day I was doing my best
to be graceful and walked into a folding door and crushed myself. Try reversing
out of one of those into a busy high street without looking a complete dick.
Such ‘styling out’ of clumsy situations is a talent never to be underestimated!
Anyway, apparently my linguistic skill and description is a little crass so I
will have to tailor my wording accordingly. If I am to date a man of class I
should say that I did not wish to come across as a public penile calamity. That
would provide a classier insight into feeling publically humiliated to the
point of resembling a phallis!
So how has the Russian rack parade gone down in your office
this morning? I am sure there is going to be gossip! No wonder the grey-knicker
parade are always on your case!
Gracie.
Dear Gracie,
Bosoms now defy
gravity like helium balloon. Men in office smile and smile and women look at me
with eyes that wound with resentment. Envy is such a sad state of affairs. The
more I flaunt bosom the more enemies I make. The snake has eyed me with
contempt. Her breasts are close to her waist from feeding her fat baby, so no
doubt she will begin hissing with the bulky bottom brigade.
The men’s eyes are
alight and they mutter under their breath as I pass by. This makes me happy
because when woman look after breast she has power. Power in pert breast - that
is why one must invest in breast to come out best. See now Russian is poet of
the breast kind! This will make you laugh - my manager took me aside and ask
what I thought I was doing. I responded – I am not wearing make-up so will
spend less time in toilet. I did this to make you happy. This has confused her.
Then she said ‘what about those?’ and glanced at the clever age beneath my chin.
I smiled and said, ‘this will take attention away from face so that people do
not notice no make-up. Win! Win!’ La la laaaaaaaaaaaa!
I have been watching my
manger, she does not know how to respond to me. I know that she does not like
me. Not many women do. They see me as competition. You are different because
you are not girlie girl. You are more Amazonian which means we have very
different style so do not have to compete. If you were petite and blonde, I
doubt we would be friends.
So today I have had a
lot of smiling men coming to desk for stationary. Five pencils, one rubber and
a pencil sharpener request. See what happens when grey-knicker manager take out
issues on me. I hate people controlling me – it always causes rebellion. The
thing is she create big bosom issue. I love it... Every time a man passes by she is making loud
angry sound. Jealousy is not an attractive feature for a woman, especially one
of the grey-knicker kind!
Oh and I feel sad for
the ghost of diet hell past. You should have said something! I know her
obsessive dieting makes regular haunting but leaving her with chocolate on
trousers is unkind!
Oh and anything from
rich men?
Eva
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