I have no time to write big email because boss is being bitch. She has given me more work because I hit one hundred payments. The wobbly bottom women are chatting about new year diets while I make rapid payments. Why is this fair? I work too hard for no reward. Thank you for telling me about the word fanny. Now I have big understanding why the managing director started coughing when I said ‘I was so fanny in a meeting the other day’. He didn’t know where to look so he stared at my chest which was perfectly arranged.
Also I have seen Abdi, he gave me a strange look and winked like he was some kind of Men’s health model. He seems to be spending more time by the drinks machine looking at women. So he will have plenty to admire around your office. What about you? What do you have to look at?
In terms of office talent, from my point of view I have had a glance around the office and there are two potential office sexual fantasies but nothing of any really exciting kind. I would love to watch a male hotty-totty walk in slow motion through the office to break up my metric calculations. Or one of those well-formed bottoms to draw my attention. Nothing like that here at the moment. Rubbish! In the meantime, the office pervert has developed his drooling technique and the office bore has moved desks. I will have to time my toilet visits to avoid monotonous stories about beavers or badgers. My worst moment was when he accosted me by the drinks machine and detailed the mating cycle of the Salmon. It was hideous, people in the area were shaking with laughter as I attempted to make every excuse to escape... God this is going to be difficult – having to run the gauntlet between the perve, the bore and detouring past the two office sexual fantasies. Amazing... Do you think it would be weird to bring a pole vault to work?
Will talk later... New Year, New Life and a New Phase of discussion... I feel exhilarated and ready... Bring it on!