Embracing Uncertainty

Who here likes to have their life in order? Who likes to know what is happening and live in a routine? Who here likes to feel safe? So what happens when all your safety lines are removed and you have to live each day and not know what is coming next? So how do you do you deal with uncertainty?

I asked the 'uncertain' question to a variety of friends of different backgrounds. Their answers were fascinating because many of them are late thirties and mid-forties and there were common themes amongst them. Those in their mid-forties were more likely to say you have to trust and let things pan out. Those in their thirties were less relaxed and said they get anxious and frustrated. Some had been given medication to alleviate the nervousness. After having a few conversations about the subject, I had a lovely moment of serendipity where this quote arrived:

Depression comes from living in the past.
Anxiety comes from living in the future.
Peace comes from living in the now.

I had not thought about life in that way; however, I realised that the only day guaranteed is today. I had spent so much time planning for the future and that future never quite turned out how I expected. If peace resides in the now then you can only really live your optimum now. So that question made me think then what is it I want to feel in a day? What is it I want to experience? It is questions like these that lead you into a warren of thoughts and ideals and then I realised - it was simple...

I want to experience Joy, Happiness, Fun and Love.

So rather than go out onto the streets and happy-hug random people, I took to meditating on these feelings in the morning. Try asking yourself what does it truly feel like to feel joy and allow yourself to feel it. This little revelation came from a network spinal analysis practitioner who I was on holiday with recently. She literally said try just feeling the emotions you wish to feel. They are all just sitting inside.

So back to the uncertainty... How does this relate? Uncertainty is life, that is a fact. We are under the impression that life is under our command; however, I have certainly learned lately that life has its own little plan which seems to be a little different from my own. The more I try to control and make it what I think it should be, the more life prizes my fingers from what I cling to and throws me into free-fall. So with that in mind, maybe the lesson is learning to embrace uncertainty. In Indiana Jones there is a bridge of faith. As he steps forward the bridge forms itself. He had to trust that he was not going to descend into a huge ravine. To embrace uncertainty one has to trust, allow and enjoy the present moment. That way you become open to all opportunities and intuition. What a lovely learning from someone who always wanted things in order...

Enjoy my audio books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Money-Farm-Audiobook/B010BOM9A8/ref=a_search_c4_1_2_srTtl?qid=1471072677&sr=1-2

And Then What?

And Then What?

It's a strange question to ask yourself. And then what? There is something a little all over the place about it. The thing is when you reach a goal  that is when you ask the question 'and then what?' This came to me while paddle-boarding the other morning. I woke at 5.30 in the morning and the conditions were perfect. I clambered out of my bed and pumped up the paddleboard and set myself a-float (on the sea) by six. I know... It might be considered a little strange to be out on the water with no one around at that time. Yet strangely I have the most insights and writing inspirations at that time. That morning I did not have a goal, although for a while I had been wanting to achieve the Boscombe Pier to Bournemouth Pier before work. The thought entered my mind but I did not think too much about it. Instead I went into a beautiful paddling rhythm with turquoise waves lifting me on my journey.

I used to dislike waves when I first started paddling because the sneakers usually threw me into freezing cold water. After a few splash downs I got back up and learned to relax into the waves and relax into allowing my body to balance using my hips. This was a huge lesson because I learned that the more I tried to control, and the more rigid I became, then the more likely I would end up submerged. The other side of the paddleboard lesson was learning to relax and go with it. The more relaxed I was then the more effortless the journey was. I simply seemed to glide towards my goal with almost no effort at all. At times I would find myself in a meditative space as the rhythm of the paddle took over. A short while later I would find myself thinking and when I started thinking too much my balance would go. I realised that over-thinking actually affected my balance. I have found that in yoga too. The days where I have been ridiculously busy are the days I can hardly balance on one leg without toppling into my yoga colleagues. Of course I find it hilarious, I don't think the others are quite so amused.

So back to the paddling, the mesmerisation by the pattern on the water and a state of absolute peace and then suddenly I reached my goal. It snuck up on me. All I had to do was enjoy my paddling journey and I would arrive at the destination with a sense of relaxed joy. I wondered what would happen if I applied this attitude to life. If I simply found an enjoyment in all that I did, if I simply pointed myself towards the goal and then immersed myself in each moment of the journey. I found that thought quite profound.

Anyway I turned my board around and found that I started to rush back. I wondered why I was rushing, I could simply relax into the journey and enjoy my return. It was then that it occurred to me how we so often rush. It is such a waste of time rushing because rushing gets something done without any experience of the moment. Where is the enjoyment in that? As I paddled in my serene state I decided to go slower, as slow as I could. It was then I felt completely present. Everything around me was perfect - the sea, the sun, the birds and the empty space. There is a sense of zen that comes from paddling and it revealed itself in that moment. I was back at where I started, I had completely enjoyed two hours of paddling and thought I achieved a goal effortlessly... It was lovely. I then thought well what is next... And then what?

I paddled in and a random chap came running down the beach. He said that paddleboarding looked lovely and he had always wanted to try. He asked me whether it was easy. I replied 'it depends how relaxed you are.' He studied me curiously. I asked him what the time was and I had fifteen minutes so I handed my board and paddle to him and gestured for him to enter the water. He was wearing his jogging wear and was definitely going to get wet. I showed him how to stand up and how to balance. He did as I said and splat. Then splat again and then double splat. I said that he needed to relax and not control the board. He managed to last about a minute before another big splash. He then paddled in. He loved it. He grinned from ear to ear and in that moment he decided he was going to get his own board. We then went our separate ways but before that he asked me out for a coffee to repay my kindness. It was then that I realised the 'And then what...' Once you reach your goal, why not inspire others to reach theirs through 'random acts of kindness?'

Enjoy my books at the following link:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

NEW RELEASE: TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE MISCHIEFS

 https://www.amazon.com/Tingle-Dingle-Little-Mischiefs-Allure-ebook/dp/B01G9C0XC2?ie=UTF8&keywords=Ruby%20Allure&qid=1465049617&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

NEW RELEASE: THE HAIRY-LEGGED MYSTERY

https://www.amazon.com/Hairy-Legged-Mystery-Ruby-Allure-ebook/dp/B01G2C0Y9Q?ie=UTF8&qid=1465049724&ref_=sr_1_2&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

The Grass isn't always Greener on the Other Side!

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

If the grass looks greener on the other side then start tending to your own grass until it is vibrant and filled with radiance!  Why are you looking at other people's grass anyway when your attention could be focused on making yours amazing!

This week has been quite a week for me. Two children’s books released and snapped up by audio producers, a return to work after being signed off with Deep Vein Thrombosis and being able to see the world with a new perspective. It is funny how when you are immersed in routine that you live on automatic pilot. How often do you stop to take in your surroundings? How often do you stop and say actually I am living the perfect life for me? I would guess that it isn’t that often. Don’t you find it amazing that all your choices and decisions in life have resulted in where you are now? Those decisions must have been made because you felt your situation would improve… Am I correct? So why do people look at other people’s lives and wish they were them? Or wish they had their life? Why do we assume that life is greener on the other side?

A good example of the grass being greener was when I was at a rowing championship. I was staying in a cottage with a group of mothers (who were there for their children). They said to me they wished they could live my life: a life of freedom, creativity and working in business. I had never considered that people would look at my lifestyle from the outside and consider my grass was greener. I pointed out that in my opinion they had it pretty good. They all had wonderful husbands who provided for them and they had a family, lovely homes and all they needed. They had not had to work up a corporate ladder or find ways to enable numerous incomes. Instead they had had the opportunity to focus on nurture, bringing life into the world and they had the opportunity to do that in comfort rather than struggle. I had struggled, seriously struggled and there were times where I would have gladly been saved by an opportune prince. Unfortunately there was no prince making that showy arrival, so instead I realised my life was my responsibility and rather than waste time admiring people’s grass and wishing it was mine, I thought well how do I make my grass the greenest it can be? Since each person’s life is their responsibility and their grass state is representational of their life, then tending to one’s own grass is the best thing a person can do.

At this point I would like you to ask how you make your grass as green as it can be?  The thing is it isn’t just about having more or earning more money, it can quite simply be a shift of mental perspective. Just think that there are people out there who aspire to have the life you have. I know… It is a strange thought. The way I see it is if you have access to the internet and have the opportunity to read this blog then you are rich. You have the capacity to purchase the technology to be able to access the world. You have the funds to buy the tools. You are not sitting in a hovel digging through shit.

Through doing this evaluation, I realised that my life was good and worked perfectly for me. As much as those images of people living in huge luxurious mansions bombard us, I realised that actually I would feel very lonely residing in such a huge space. I would be like a pea rattling around a warehouse. My little apartment is perfect for me. It is peaceful, cosy and filled with an air of femininity. In truth it is beautiful, has turrets and is minimalist. So you might wave a mansion at me and I would smile and know that in terms of where I live my grass is very green.

 

It was a few years ago now that I saw through the big illusion. That illusion is fascinating – we are fed images of ideals in films and adverts. They are not real. We are shown images of the ideal bodies, yet we are all different. So why not love the body you have and treat it well? Don’t starve it, treat it to great nutrition and it is worth shifting perspective to consider food as medicine and building blocks for the body.  Find an exercise you love so that your body radiates with health. Blood moving around the body stops it stagnating. Finally money – we all chase money to be rich because everyone else wants to be rich. Yes money is a decorated piece of paper to accumulate but what if all that effort to accumulate results in devaluation? It happened to Cyprus and Iceland. So with that in mind, you can realise that actually what you want is the feeling of being rich and that comes from appreciating what you have. It is so simple.

The moment I realised I was rich was quite out of the blue. I stood on my paddleboard on a beautiful expanse of water. It was close to sunset and the clouds were decorated with pink and the reflection made heaven and earth one. I stood there in that moment and thought I couldn’t pay for this. This endless chase for money is ridiculous because it is continuous. When will you ever have enough? You know the answer to that... For me - beauty and true wealth comes from being immersed in the experience.

That moment on the paddleboard was when I realised I had stopped to smell the roses and seen the beauty in life. That beauty had not cost a thing – it was nature working its daily miracles. What was it that made me rich? It was the recognition and the feeling of a great connection with the planet. A feeling of great wealth rose up inside me. I series of pictures connected, as if there was a thread throughout my life. I saw the sequence of great moments of inspiration. It was then that I realised that my grass was as green as I wished to make it. I just needed to focus on the feeling of being wealthy with what I have because I have access to that whenever I wish. I also realised that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. Instead it is far better to focus on my own grass, tend to my own grass and then take it with me in the form of radiant turf!

I hope this inspires

Ruby Allure BOOKS ON AMAZON.COM - https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1?ie=UTF8&text=Ruby+Allure&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=Ruby+Allure&sort=relevancerank

Ruby Allure BOOKS ON AUDIBLE.COM
http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_mn_mt_ano_tseft__galileo?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+Allure&x=0&y=0 

NEW RELEASE: TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE MISCHIEFS

 https://www.amazon.com/Tingle-Dingle-Little-Mischiefs-Allure-ebook/dp/B01G9C0XC2?ie=UTF8&keywords=Ruby%20Allure&qid=1465049617&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

NEW RELEASE: THE HAIRY-LEGGED MYSTERY

https://www.amazon.com/Hairy-Legged-Mystery-Ruby-Allure-ebook/dp/B01G2C0Y9Q?ie=UTF8&qid=1465049724&ref_=sr_1_2&s=digital-text&sr=1-2

Do you think Busyness means success?

Do you think that Busyness means success? At one point I thought that successful were busy; however, that has changed.

You know how you have those moments in life where you stand still and it as if time has frozen. You look around and see everyone rushing. Cars are flying past, people dash and everyone is frantically tapping their mobiles. In that moment of stillness I wondered what people were rushing towards because there is only one ultimate destination: death. So with that as the destination then why rush?

 

That one epiphany made me think. I sat at my desk watching numerous emails ping into my inbox. I watched a colleague balancing numerous projects and glanced at my manager who was trying to answer emails whilst answering questions on a conference call. Everyone was so busy. It was then I realised how we are conditioned to think that busy-ness is business. Being busy all the time is not success – it is stress. Maybe busyness should be re-named busy-stress. It is ridiculous.

That evening I met up with some of my ex-rowing crew members. These girls are hardcore dedicated athletes. We used to train around 20 hours a week to compete and we all worked full time too. They left the competitive arena of rowing and funnily enough most of them have become endurance sea swimmers. I feel that you may have an idea of their mentality: very focused – work hard, train hard and be very busy. So I raised the busyness issue. Why are we all so busy? I advised them that I craved time to be silent and do nothing and not be with anyone. They were horrified and asked why would I want to spend time alone? My response was ‘because that is how I recharge.’ One of them shook her head sadly and said she hated being alone. In fact she avoided it. She said she trained hard to physical exhaustion and went home and slept. I was stunned and looked at the rest of the group who all agreed. So I had to get it straight – ‘so you are all keeping yourself busy and exhausting yourselves to avoid feeling lonely?’ There was silence and they all nodded. Each explained their stories. Two were in relationships and gave examples of what they did when their partners were away to avoid feeling lonely – usually hold a dinner party or get friends over. I wondered why people assumed that when they were alone they would get lonely. It then occurred to me that our society is over-stimulating us and people actually are not resting through fear of being alone or feeling lonely. That night was quite an insight into ten women’s inner lives.

 

Over the next weeks, something about this lurked in the back of my mind. It was as if something was brewing. So I wondered whether when I was alone for an extended period I would feel lonely. I will be honest I have never even considered that. So I took some time out of my busy schedule and spent four whole days alone and guess what? It was bliss! Ha! Hence less blogs than usual. The plan was not to do, tidy, clean. Instead I was able to just do nothing a duvet day. Of course there was a lot of sleep, meditation and just doing nothing. At times I felt guilty for not being productive. That concerned me – why do I always have to be productive? The thing is in that ‘empty’ time my creative juices flowed. I had times where I was bored and day dreamed and came up with some wonderful ideas to write. It was then that I realised that busyness distracts us from real success. Are you ready for this and this is what I realised – for me – the true success is a feeling of peace and tranquillity whilst feeling connected to the self. When you reach this state you are able to jump into a creative mental pool and have the energy to create/ be productive rather than forcing. In addition in this state one radiates and feels happy. Imagine. So my lovelies my new attitude is do less but strangely achieve more. I hope this inspires

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832

THE LINK TO THE OCEAN CALLINGS: http://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fantasy/The-Ocean-Callings-Audiobook/B01C4OOOEW/

Why Master the Mundane?

Why Master the Mundane?

Is there something wrong with ordinary or mundane? If so why is that? Why does everything have to be spectacular, amazing or phenomenal? In this world of ‘instant’ there is the constant need for stimulus. That endless search for stimulation overrides the gentle moments that take place in the ordinary. In the meantime our endeavours need to be posted for the world to see them. The validation comes from likes and external sources. Wow! So you want to spend your next eighty years in that constant motion with the need for people to like pictures of the next spectacular thing that has been done. We must be aware that we are conditioned by society yet one of the subliminal messages suggests we should always be working and aspiring. There are a couple of clever catch phrases you may recognise ‘you can be anything if you have…’ and ‘treat yourself.’ This is all consumerist propaganda to make you buy pointless items to keep an economy in motion.  Of course being satisfied and content does not make you buy.

You may wonder where this has come from. Well one of my big things to understand this year is contentment and satisfaction. On the journey to satisfaction, over the last couple of weeks I have been on couple of meditation retreats. It had a rather profound affect. When you remove all the external expectations you have space and time to reflect. In that time of reflection it became apparent how fast life is. Without the constant bombardment of advertising there is time to appreciate yourself and be with who you really are. It was during this time I recognised the ordinary. I know, I had been so busy with work, aspirations and writing that I had not noticed the ordinary. In the quiet time I saw that the mundane was actually beautiful. I realised the underlying issue was that the mundane became boring because I was over-stimulated. The irony is that wherever you are, it is you that you that you are taking to the situation. So by enjoying the meditation and being in deep relaxation my perspective shifted. No matter where I was, depending on my inner state, determined how I responded. Now imagine you are in a peaceful tranquil state experiencing life rather than in a fast state of inner anxiety. It is funny how your inner state completely changes everything. Since the retreat I have been amused by my work environment, which at times falls into utter chaos. When my state was internal chaos the situations would make me stressed. Now that I am doing the regular meditation, the situations that erupt no longer affect me in the same way and I now can see calm and effortless solutions. In addition, I can now fully experience the situations rather than ‘get them done’ and move onto the next random event. Of course it is early days; however, the endless need to aspire, chase and be fast is something we all become caught up in. It is as if everyone is trying to out busy each other through fear of not appearing to live an exciting life. Everyone is rushing but where to? Death?

Have you realised the big secret that the economic world does not what you to know? The best experiences are with friends, family and take place in the quiet moments between chasing ideals. When you realise this you then wonder why you bother chasing. When you step into your stillness and experience each day for that day you open up a whole universe of beauty in the mundane. That is why, in my opinion, it is worth mastering the Mundane.

 

You can find my books at the following link: Ruby Allure books on Audible:

http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_hp_tseft?advsearchKeywords=Ruby+allure&filterby=field-keywords&x=0&y=0

AUDIBLE BOOK AVAILABLE HERE:

 

LINK TO BUY ON AUDIBLE:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/A-Short-Course-In-Creative-Writing-Audiobook/B012OVUKE8/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1443260320&sr=1-1

 

LINK TO PAPERBACK ON AMAZON.COM

A Short Course in Creative Writing
by Ms Ruby Allure
Link: http://amzn.com/1517234832