Ruby Writes Books: paddleboard

When Things Don't Go Quite So Smoothly...

When we hit the metal gate with two kayaks on the roof and listened to the screech of metal being ripped from the roof of my friends' car, I came to the conclusion that random events happen to everyone and not just me. What made it all the more bizarre was that she continued to drive forwards even though we were snagged. When it happened we were in mid-conversation so she just kept going. The thing is people's lives are complex and the most random things happen and it is how we react to them that certainly reveals where a person is in their lives. This little even happened because a group of us were going paddle-boarding and kayaking up a river. My friend and I would usually be on inflatable paddleboards that are stored in the car. It seemed that my friend actually forgot that she had kayaks on her roof and continued to drive when we came up against the barrier. That in itself is a little insight - continuing to drive even though you reach a barrier...

This last few weeks I have been writing a book about paddle-boarding and loving writing it because so many insights come from some of the situations I find myself in when floating on the sea. Take for example the other morning. I had been paddling for hours, completely relaxed and in gentle waves. I then glanced down to see the hugest jelly fish. It was beautiful. In response a jolt of adrenaline shot through me and I prepared to fight or flight. Of course when you go rigid on your board you then become unstable - somewhat like life. I quickly caught my reaction and was like hang on.. You have been paddling for two hours and not even thought about falling in and then one blooming big jelly fish and you become all wobbly - jellified actually. It then occurred to me that we all have incidents in life where surprise jelly fish turn up or there is a collision and in that moment how do we react? At first the jelly fish threw me into instincts and fear... That made me rigid and potentially would throw me in. Yet when I relaxed and rationalised I realised there was no need to fear. Can we apply this way of thinking to life?

So back to the kayak situation - the two kayaks flew backwards off the car and smashed on the ground. The roof-rack was ripped from the roof and smashed down too. So how do you think my friend reacted? She quickly climbed out of the car checked the kayaks were okay and shrugged. 'It's done now.' With that we got the tool box out, mended the roof rack, moved the kayaks and decided to paddle and have a lovely time. That one situation could have escalated into a tandrum-filled drama but it didn't because my friend was in a space where she was relaxed. So this has played on my mind today... It is quite a lovely thing to play on my mind - how we react and how we affect ourselves through those reactions. So say she had grown angry or frustrated then what would have happened? How would that have improved the situation. The situation happened and that was it, so what is it that in our inner worlds that makes a person launch into an absolute break-down when things don't go so smoothly. What if in those moments of fear, aggravation or anguish, we simply stopped and said - you know what it happened now. Let's do something to make it right and not carry the burden of the situation. What about if something rubbish happens you simply say it's done - let's still go and have a nice time.

The thing is that simple situation could have ruined everyone's paddling fun but it didn't we simply had a gorgeous time gliding up and down the river on kayaks and paddleboards. For me that is the joy of it... The beauty and pleasure of being on water, out in nature and with people who simply get on with it when things don't go so smoothly!

Image result for glide paddle board from air river sunset

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The grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

If the grass looks greener on the other side then start tending to your own grass until it is vibrant and filled with radiance! Why are you looking at other people's grass anyway when your attention could be focused on making yours amazing!

This week has been quite a week for me. Two children’s books released and snapped up by audio producers, a return to work after being signed off with Deep Vein Thrombosis and being able to see the world with a new perspective. It is funny how when you are immersed in routine that you live on automatic pilot. How often do you stop to take in your surroundings? How often do you stop and say actually I am living the perfect life for me? I would guess that it isn’t that often. Don’t you find it amazing that all your choices and decisions in life have resulted in where you are now? Those decisions must have been made because you felt your situation would improve… Am I correct? So why do people look at other people’s lives and wish they were them? Or wish they had their life? Why do we assume that life is greener on the other side?

A good example of the grass being greener was when I was at a rowing championship. I was staying in a cottage with a group of mothers (who were there for their children). They said to me they wished they could live my life: a life of freedom, creativity and working in business. I had never considered that people would look at my lifestyle from the outside and consider my grass was greener. I pointed out that in my opinion they had it pretty good. They all had wonderful husbands who provided for them and they had a family, lovely homes and all they needed. They had not had to work up a corporate ladder or find ways to enable numerous incomes. Instead they had had the opportunity to focus on nurture, bringing life into the world and they had the opportunity to do that in comfort rather than struggle. I had struggled, seriously struggled and there were times where I would have gladly been saved by an opportune prince. Unfortunately there was no prince making that showy arrival, so instead I realised my life was my responsibility and rather than waste time admiring people’s grass and wishing it was mine, I thought well how do I make my grass the greenest it can be? Since each person’s life is their responsibility and their grass state is representational of their life, then tending to one’s own grass is the best thing a person can do.

At this point I would like you to ask how you make your grass as green as it can be? The thing is it isn’t just about having more or earning more money, it can quite simply be a shift of mental perspective. Just think that there are people out there who aspire to have the life you have. I know… It is a strange thought. The way I see it is if you have access to the internet and have the opportunity to read this blog then you are rich. You have the capacity to purchase the technology to be able to access the world. You have the funds to buy the tools. You are not sitting in a hovel digging through shit.

Image result for grass is greener syndrome

Through doing this evaluation, I realised that my life was good and worked perfectly for me. As much as those images of people living in huge luxurious mansions bombard us, I realised that actually I would feel very lonely residing in such a huge space. I would be like a pea rattling around a warehouse. My little apartment is perfect for me. It is peaceful, cosy and filled with an air of femininity. In truth it is beautiful, has turrets and is minimalist. So you might wave a mansion at me and I would smile and know that in terms of where I live my grass is very green.

It was a few years ago now that I saw through the big illusion. That illusion is fascinating – we are fed images of ideals in films and adverts. They are not real. We are shown images of the ideal bodies, yet we are all different. So why not love the body you have and treat it well? Don’t starve it, treat it to great nutrition and it is worth shifting perspective to consider food as medicine and building blocks for the body. Find an exercise you love so that your body radiates with health. Blood moving around the body stops it stagnating. Finally money – we all chase money to be rich because everyone else wants to be rich. Yes money is a decorated piece of paper to accumulate but what if all that effort to accumulate results in devaluation? It happened to Cyprus and Iceland. So with that in mind, you can realise that actually what you want is the feeling of being rich and that comes from appreciating what you have. It is so simple.

The moment I realised I was rich was quite out of the blue. I stood on my paddleboard on a beautiful expanse of water. It was close to sunset and the clouds were decorated with pink and the reflection made heaven and earth one. I stood there in that moment and thought I couldn’t pay for this. This endless chase for money is ridiculous because it is continuous. When will you ever have enough? You know the answer to that... For me - beauty and true wealth comes from being immersed in the experience.

That moment on the paddleboard was when I realised I had stopped to smell the roses and seen the beauty in life. That beauty had not cost a thing – it was nature working its daily miracles. What was it that made me rich? It was the recognition and the feeling of a great connection with the planet. A feeling of great wealth rose up inside me. I series of pictures connected, as if there was a thread throughout my life. I saw the sequence of great moments of inspiration. It was then that I realised that my grass was as green as I wished to make it. I just needed to focus on the feeling of being wealthy with what I have because I have access to that whenever I wish. I also realised that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. Instead it is far better to focus on my own grass, tend to my own grass and then take it with me in the form of radiant turf!

I hope this inspires

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